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Death Watch Journal for Kevin Varga – DAY 43

It is getting harder and harder to find the motivation to continue this life. I don’t mean to sound fatalistic about this, and I certainly do not want to gain support through sympathy but I choose not to lie about my feelings. My reason for these feelings today are the so-called clergy that finds its way on to the tiers of death row. How can these men call themselves servants of God while they support a system of death? To sit passively by is one thing; I have heard a story today that has me shaking my head.

I was told that a clergyman that has once been in the death chamber to lend a spiritual support to those men that were unlucky enough to find themselves in the death chamber, but on one occasion this man helped to strap a man to the gurney! I cannot find any evidence to support this claim, as the man who was to have done this has been released from employment at TDC.

They have yet another bastion of good will that asks if the man to be murdered would like to have a human touch as he is murdered, and if the man relents and acquiesces to having the man hold his ankle while the state murders him, the clergyman places his hand upon the condemned mans ankle and prays for that person while the state stops his heart. In practice this sounds very noble, but if the other story is true, how long before this new man will be willing to help the state by strapping a man to receive a lethal dose of poison? Can it be any wonder why I have so much trouble finding motivation to continue this life? When the servants of God turn into the servants of death rather than a savior, we have found yet another creature of oppression.

47 days to live. May tomorrow bring hope anew.

Kevin Varga 999368
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, TX 77351

© Copyright 2010 by Kevin Varga and Thomas Bartlett Whitaker. All rights reserved.

No Comments

  • Cat
    April 23, 2010 at 9:49 am

    Excellent comment Texson!
    Err…
    Could you please go and explain your interpretation to the tea partiers?
    I, for one, would love to see them listen to our current administration about social reforms.
    We both know it won't happen.
    I don't believe Jesus would agree with the DP.
    I don't either.

    Reply
  • Anonymous
    April 23, 2010 at 9:49 am

    It seems to me Kevin is blaming everybody but him self for the situation he is in. My prayers do go out to him but he needs to look at him self first before blaming Texas and Pastors as it was not their behavior that put him where he is. But he should know as he has accepted Jesus as his lord and savior that he will be with God soon and the eternal life will be sweet.

    P.S. It is the citizen of Texas who based on the evidence passed the sentence on Kevin.

    Reply
  • OutsiderLookingIn
    April 23, 2010 at 1:46 am

    And may I add. I agree with you Dixie, they are undoubtedly different people by the time they have to face their own death, than when they committed the crime. However, the sad fact is, if they had not sat on DR contemplating their own mortality, they would most probably never have had the inclination to be so reflective and try to identify where or how it all went wrong,

    Reply
  • OutsiderLookingIn
    April 23, 2010 at 1:46 am

    Yes Kevin is baring his soul, but this is an open forum and we ALL have the right to express our opinion. Just as some may disagree with Texson, there are also some who will disagree with Kevin's interpretation of how he came to be on death row in the first place. I sometimes wonder if Jesus is hanging out on death row, as almost every soul there seems to have found him. It is just a pity that some have to be in such circumstances to discover the true meaning of humanity and the value of EVERY human life. Regardless of whether you are for or against the DP, Texas is a death penalty state and ALL who make the decision to murder in that state are aware of it and as the conveyor belt keeps rolling towards the death chamber, some obviously do not care; unless they find themselves a resident. I read Kevin's words, I feel empathy, then I read the crimes of some of the men and women who are facing the same fate as Kevin and I wonder if they ever give a thought to their victims, who were also facing death, but did not have the luxury or opportunity to at least have the chance of clemency or a stay.

    Reply
  • Dixie
    April 21, 2010 at 9:40 am

    texson,
    If I have to explain it….enough said! Why comment at all if you have nothing positive to say? It is obvious that Kevin is baring his soul for all and that he is not the same man who committed the crime.Just because the great(?) state of Texas has no problem with assembly line state sanctioned death does not mean that God has ordered and prefers it that way! I pray that I will see the day when the dp is abolished in our country. Love and prayers to you Kevin!

    Reply
  • Anonymous
    April 20, 2010 at 9:52 pm

    I never said that Kevin was not loved and that was not the point. Kevin interpretation of the bible seems to be self serving so why my interpretation any different?

    Reply
  • Dixie
    April 20, 2010 at 8:58 pm

    texson,
    You are unbelievable! Your interpretation of the Bible is quite self-serving! Kevin, you are loved and your life very much matters! Never, ever forget that, however feel free to forget all that texson has stated as it is not worth the paper it is written on! Prayers and peace to you Kevin, Dixie

    Reply
  • Anonymous
    April 20, 2010 at 8:07 pm

    The bible states we must obey the law of the land: Romans 13:1-7 states, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. Consequently, he who rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves.

    This passage makes it abundantly clear that we are to obey the government God places over us. We are to obey the government in everything—paying taxes, obeying rules and laws, and showing respect. If we do not, we are ultimately showing disrespect towards God, for He is the One who placed that government over us. When the apostle Paul wrote to the Romans, he was under the government of Rome during the reign of Nero, perhaps the most evil of all the Roman emperors. Paul still recognized the Roman government’s rule over him. How can we do any less?

    Reply
  • Cat
    April 20, 2010 at 11:27 am

    http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/save_kevin_varga/

    Hi all!
    Please consider sparing a few minutes to sign Kevin's petition.
    Thank you!

    Reply

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