PTSD (Prison Trauma Systemic Discord)

2021 …

I was transferred to Otisville Correctional Facility When my classification was lowered from maximum to medium security status. I had served the first 16 years of incarceration behind the wall, and I was looking forward to completing an 18 to life sentence in a much safer environment. So I thought.

I signed up for the John Jay College informational session and I was accepted. I finished the first semester with a 4.0 Grade Point Average (GPA), and I had earned an essay submission to John Jay’s Finest magazine for Sociology 101. College was a good distraction from the brewing conflicts on the compound. However, it was Spring Break that I would get a panoramic view and be dragged into the fold of a negative bliss of ignorance.

For some unknown reason, I was one of the rare guys who was never moved into the housing unit that was designed for college students. My questions of why all went unanswered by the administrative faculty. The unit where I was housed was gang infested, plus extremely violent.

There were certain correctional officers (COs) who would begin their shift by saying, “I don’t care what happens here, as long as I don’t see any blood!” Those were encouraging words for those of us in custody. We were confined to witnessing a consistent pattern where the COs relinquished obligatory control.

It was the night of parenting class when I was attacked by gang members. I had become an advocate for change and my positive focus was not welcome. For two days, I was in the infirmary and my personal property was left unattended in the unit. All of it was stolen!

I was informed that I would be removed from population for security reasons, and I cried, literally. I loved my college experience! The COs were hardly ever on their post. This could have been avoided. It was clear to me that this administration was not one for stopping violence. They encouraged it.

2022 …

I was transferred to Wallkill Correctional Facility For a two-week layover. I had no property. I filed a loss of property claim against the exact facility that allowed my property to be stolen. I wanted them to be held accountable and to be reimbursed for the property loss; books, creative writing, headphones, sneakers, boots, clothes, food, cosmetics, letters from my kids/photos, and my grandparents obituaries.

2022 …

I was sent to Woodbourne Correctional Facility, and I was housed in a dorm environment that was out of control. I had an option to be placed in a cell upon my request, which I did. However, the level of ignorance and the obligatory neglect by the COs just encouraged more violence.

My first problem began with an overly aggressive Sergeant who accused me of making him do work, because I had filed a loss of property claim, which he was tasked to investigate. He asked me, “What happened to your property?”, which led me to believe that he never read the claim that detailed those facts. I asked him, “Did you read the claim?” Angrily, he told me to, “Shut the f&*k up!” in a room with three other Sergeants present. Immediately, I was kicked out of the office, luckily, not in a literal sense.

It should suffice to say that my claim was denied. My property was stolen, so there was no way to show receipts for proof of purchase. However, everything that I had received came through the package room and that I could prove. The Sergeant said, “Your package room folder could not be located.” So, I decided to do a F.O.I.L. request to obtain the folder myself. I resubmitted my claim, but the end results were the same. Nothing! This Sergeant was determined to leave me without any property. I was not surprised.

I did get a visit from the Office of Special Investigations, also known as OSI, but this had nothing to do with the gang assault. They were investigation a female CO from Wallkill Correctional Facility, who was smuggling drugs, cellphones and having sex with incarcerated individuals. I was only there for two weeks, so I knew nothing, but it became breaking news when the actual bust was made.

Ironically, it was at Woodbourne Correctional Facility. where a female CO made a sexual advance towards me. I rejected her sexual advance and then she began to spread a rumor that I was a snitch. For clarification purposes, a snitch is someone who is a criminal, and as soon as they get caught, they will rat out other criminals to get less time. I was neither. The criminal lifestyle was a thing of the past, and I made a conscious decision to become a law-abiding citizen.

My safety had been compromised by a CO who was corrupted, and could not handle rejection, especially from an incarcerated individual. I wrote a formal complaint to OSI, but I never heard a word from them. I sought out a half decent Sergeant who informed me that CO Wilson was already being investigated for similar allegations. This CO was the reason why the gang members began to plot an assault against me. Again, I was removed from population for security reasons.

2023 …

I was transferred back to Wallkill Correctional Facility and then to Collins Correctional Facility. The violence there was the worst that I had ever seen. At my initial interview with a Sergeant, I was warned that I was going to have serious problems with other incarcerated individuals. Why? I was from Long Island, New York, and the prison was all filled with Upstate guys. When the proximity transfer was implemented, everyone put in for a transfer to get closer to where they were from. This was all silly territorial gripes between Eastern and Western New Yorkers. Prison stupidity.

It was so dangerous that guys were getting sliced across the face while they slept! The violence was so frequent that it had become the norm. Even boiling hot water was thrown to settle beefs. The COs were absent from their post for hours at a time. They were gone for so long that when the phone rang, it was the incarcerated individual who alerted them. (Madness!)

One night, there were fisticuffs. The CO stated, “Hurry up and get it over with so I can go home!” The COs were entertained by the slugfest. These are the people who are supposed to show care to the confined by maintaining control. Instead, they allowed more violence than a maximum prison, including Attica/2006.

On another day, someone was cut across the face right inside the unit where we slept. Again, the COs were nowhere in sight. It was screams from the victim that got their attention. An air of mystery loomed because they had no idea who had done it, but there is never a shortage of people who are more than willing to volunteer information.

The COs should want to prevent such violent acts from ever happening, but they don’t. The less that they knew about any particular incident, there would be less paperwork for them to file. Literally, that night, I slept with one eye open. I mean, I had to! The guy who was responsible for the cutting slept in the bed next to mine.

The next morning, the CO locked our recreation room. This was a form of punishment because they claimed that no one would say who did it. Truthfully, this was how they justified not being on their post. They used us as scapegoats, who they say were making their jobs harder to discover the truth. COs are not problem-solvers. If they were ever there to solve problems, no prison would be out of control, especially when the COs are the ones who control the prison environment. FACTS!

Two days later, the culprit who slept in the bed next to mine, snuck up behind me on our way from the mess hall and cut me across the neck! I saw a hand and I was able to move just enough for it not to be a severe cut. I was sent to the infirmary, but the culprit was still walking the compound, freely. Again, I was removed from population for security reasons.

2023 …

I was transferred to Wyoming Correctional Facility where the violence was equal to my previous facility, if not worse. The COs gave the gang members the task of saying who would get on the phone, and when. I was merely trying to call my family, and that phone call took three days to make. I became a target on day one for asking to call someone, anyone! These COs came up with something quite illogical called, ‘police yourselves.’ If that was the case, none of us would be in prison. We would have all been able to ‘police ourselves’ with the laws that govern society.

The gang members would play tag team with the phone all day! There were times when the phone would hang off the hook for an hour. But if you were not in the gang, don’t you dare touch it, or else. This was totally insane! I was behind the wall for 16 years and I did not have this problem. Respectfully, I approached the CO about the obvious organized confusion. Soon after, I was approached by a gang member who said, “Don’t go to the CO, we run the phone!”

I guess that I had asked one too many questions about the phone. The next morning, as I entered the bathroom to brush my teeth and wash my face, I was gang assaulted by two guys. The CO was laid back in his chair wearing a pair of dark sunglasses, as if he was asleep. Clearly, it was a set up that was conspired by the CO and the gang members.

Wait, this gets better! Would you believe that I was given a misbehavior report for fighting, violent conduct and creating a disturbance!?! I have documented proof! The CO never saw what happened, but he gave a detailed description of the incident. Needless to say, I was found guilty of all charges, and I lost all of my privileges. To add insult to injury (no pun intended), the medical records proved that I was the only one to sustain several bruises. Again, I was removed from population for security reasons.

2023 …

I was transferred to Orleans Correctional Facility at night, and they placed me directly into population, meaning I had skipped the entire reception process to be classified. It was intentional when I was housed in another gang infested unit. I was shocked to learn that there was a security breach upon my arrival. The gang members were well aware of the physical confrontation that I had and with whom. This was so illegal.

No one was ever just thrown into population without going through reception. This raised more red flags (no pun intended), with the gang members who wanted to know why I was there. They were on the verge of attack, until a guy who recognized me from behind the wall, intervened. He was not a gang member, though he was well respected for the thirty years he had served in the Department of Corrections and Community Supervision (DOCCS). He was familiar with the deception that the COs imposed on us.

Still, I was not safe. So, I got up early the next morning and I called an attorney. Immediately, the attorney mailed out delivery conformation letters to OSI, the Superintendent, and the Serious Offenders Review Council (SORC). Thankfully, I was placed in Protective Custody. It was then that I finally got my first interview with OSI. Unbelievable!!!

The OSI investigation proved that I needed long term Protective Custody. I was being targeted by gang members, as well as the COs. The current administration, as a whole, was not happy with what I had done, which was protect myself. It was now work to be done, and they were the ones who were compelled to do it. For the most part, the COs never ever do the work to fulfil their job description.

From 2021 to 2023, I was transferred for security reasons seven times and four of those transfers were in 2023. They have yet to clarify the ‘security reasons’, and how it pertained to me being transferred. I mean, specifically. Even when I would write to OSI, they never considered an investigation to find out why the ‘security reasons’ transfers kept happening. For my entire incarceration, I have not committed a single act of violence, and not once did they respond to my letters. If I did not contact a lawyer, I would have still been at risk of being harmed, even worse, murdered.

Robert Brooks’ life was savagely taken at Marcy Correctional Facility, and it is sad, but true. He was murdered! Now a Federal Bureau investigative hammer has been brought down on their foolery. The only difference between Robert Brooks and the countless incarcerated individuals who have suffered from savage beatings is that Robert Brooks is no longer here to tell his story. I can only wish, hope and pray that another life is not erased from existence for DOCCS to live up to care, custody, confinement and control.

The Justice System is two-faced, and it will backbite whoever lacks money to balance the scales. The Justice System is a tool used to break those broken and tighten the loose screws to lock cells. The practice of systemic social injustice works smoothly for most to fail. If there’s a heaven in the afterlife, life on earth must be years of the hottest hell … PTSD.