By Daniel Gebhardt
Maybe I do my best when…
My life is turned upside down..
when I am in turmoil..
I owe….
Or maybe my best work comes from..
rays of sun shine…
hot bright days…
happyness….
Naw who am I fooling…
thoughts come and go…
but words stick forever….
in the back of the receivers mind…
So maybe I should stay sober….
then maybe I wouldn’t say…..
things I can’t take back….
Is it to late to make a first Impression…
is it?…
Naw start anew and say…
only positive…
Opposites may attract, but…
they never last together…
* *#2022***
By Daniel Gebhardt
I’m at a loss for words,
A loss for verbs
I sit back and watch how,
this world has turned.
Now a devils playground,
or maybe a lovless,
merry go round. I lay back
on this mattress, cause it
is where I am bound.
This mat is furnished by,
the MDOC. When I step-up
to look out, only pain
envelopes m.e……
I try to structure my day,
by what is done, But only righteousness
will reign when the Authorities
have won.
This is what the system thinks.
Can we change their minds?
Their steady changing the rules,
and leaving us in the blind.
A day will come when,
We make the rules,
that day is almost here,
let’s watch them be the fools….
Watch Me
By Daniel Gebhardt
Are they watching my every move?
They put up with my shit, all day
all week
all month
all year.
Maybe they know better than me,
they sure do know how’ll I’ll react.
Ill just blame everything on you.
I am so good at finding what I don’t like
why does love avoid me?
Maybe I got a plan, maybe love
will watch me, till it wants me.
Am I just born to be alone?
Can my mind handle another?
Maybe I got a plan…
Naw no plan, just hoping and wondering
when love will find me.
it will one day, I work harder everyday,
move faster, think smarter, try harder
the look in their eyes is killing me
I don’t know how’ll I’ll manage ,
people have been putting up with me
a long time.
Maybe its time I go, but where?
my mind is already there
I can’t run away any more, I have to be here.
Maybe I got a plan… Watch me…
Positive
By Daniel Gebhardt
Bright eyes, new day,
All hustle, no complaining,
work harder, no need for darkness
Sun shining , smiles everywhere,
new day, thoughts of progress,
move with purpose, no weakness
smart thoughts, smart words
you can do it.
Positive thoughts breed positive actions,
open doors, smile at people, give love,
I will succeed, no one can stop me,
all success starts in your mind,
nobody can make me feel bad.
I am success, I am positive energy,
I can do this. I am success.
Bright sun shining down on me,
Only positive energy.
I surround myself with positive people,
I will attract success,
I am positive….
Live without you
You tell me to be happy, smile
write a happy song.
be fake, smile at everything
I’m sorry
Keep sitting up there, on your high horse
I put you up there, when you
were with me, you were safe
stronger together, weak when you
are without me.
Or is it the other way around?
think I can live without you?
Am I weak without you?
Sometimes I can’t breath, when I
think of you.
You used to visit me in my dreams,
you’d catch me when I fall,
put me right back on my feet,
I took advantage of you .
Sorrow fills my soul to know I lost
you… I can’t live without you.
As strong as I play, I need you in my
life, just to hear your voice, makes
me happy. I don’t care what you’ve done
who you have been with…
I am man enough to tell you,
I already know, I don’t need anyone else,
just you. But your so far away, Do you
ever get lonely, laying there thinking of me?
If she loves me, she will come back,
Love will find me, because I am tired of looking for it… To live without you…..
I will never be whole.
You Got It
By Daniel Gebhardt
When you walk into the room,
smiles all around, staring at beauty,
not a step goes by without a look,
everyone tries, nobody has succeeded.
You got it.
Take a seat, get comfortable,
I’ll wait to shoot my shot,
sitting back watching the action,
no man can succeed, shot down
all of them.
You got it.
Stop take a breath, you tired of
the same old thing, want someone,
new, let me show you,
swagger is not what you want.
You got it.
Short cut skirt, low cut shirt,
skin soft, dimples so cute,
guys just want one thing, not the
mind, like I do. Take a breath.
You got it.
You can feel my energy in the room,
it surrounds you, envelopes you,
just my smell makes you quiver
Maybe, give you my last name.
You got it.
You can learn a lot from me,
pay close attention, as I float around
the room, past the b.s. , around all
the haters, through everything
just to sit next to you.
You got it.
Can we talk? Real words, no beating
around the bush, cut to the chase
I want you to have my last name,
No games, no modesty, all real talk
let me be the first, and last.
You got it…..
History
By Daniel Gebhardt
Maybe we were born to break hearts,
everything we do, we change others
no matter, the good, the bad, the ugly
We tend to effect others and what they,
say, or do or feel
Can we alter the way we are?
Are we meant to be this forever?
Call out and say can I change?
Am I able to fix the issues that I,
started a long time ago…
We are sorry, for the hurt turmoil,
pain, and endless nights of crying
wondering where are we?
Does my heart have the capacity to
hold your heart?
Trust, and love is what we do this for..
Can we truly ever with all our hearts love one another?
Love will change the Past…..
Let It Sink In
By Daniel Gebhardt
Great minds are stuck here,
everyday we do the same exact thing
nothing new…
We may think we are getting better,
are we, or are we just tricking our minds
into change….
True change comes from the mind down not the heart,
Our minds want to be different, or fixed, or normal…
But then how do others perceive us?
Does it matter? In some ways it does…
but then in others it does not….
We can be normal, but then again what is normal?
We may be where we are and want lasting change…
But are you that normal where you are in your life???
Let that sink in……
Control
By Daniel Gebhardt
If I thought I was in control,
I am sorely mistaken,
I have nonstop thoughts,
of being at the top.
Wake e wake e
you must be dreaming,
if I think I am in control.
I’ve been looking for myself,
here is no where to find it.
When you find me,
tell me , I’ve been looking for me.
I have lost myself in the maze,
is it my mind that creates the maze?
Happiness is only a thought away.
It has eluded me for so long,
I have found it, I have mastered
the mind, my happiness is here,
I am free in my mind
I am free behind these doors, and bars.
No one can take it from me.
Sorry for your pain.
Join me in no control.
It will free you.
Break Free
By Daniel Gebhardt
The tightness on my chest,
feels like a million pounds,
pushing down like weighted vests,
The world crushing me.
Under the weight, I bend
all over, to try and distribute the weight,
it doesn’t suffice, it makes it that
much harder to breath.
Can I get past this feeling?
Can I make it past this nonsense
I see my future, its bright
but I lose my drive to push forward.
Why does the world make it hard?
My mind thanks the universe for my life,
and everything it gives me.
Can we please just break free,
of these subtle mistakes?
I will one day be free, of the chains
I will have the best life, I will dig Down
and move this weight, I will make it.
I will break free….
There are more ways to imprison someone. I have learned through all the pain and turmoil that I have caused throughout the years, that not only can you end up in physical prison, you can make others, ie.. family, friends, be in a mental state of prison.
Why did I not learn from the begining that this is not what Life is about? Can you understand the pain I portray through my words that I am remorseful for the actions and mental anguish I have caused everyone. I am working on becoming a Bette human being, please give me the benefit of the doubt, and watch me transform into nothing but shining white love….
Me
By Daniel Gebhardt
Sit back, Patience,
Don’t do that, Sit still,
Why do you talk so much?
Listen, don’t talk so much,
Why can’t you sit still?
Just listen, stop being a brat,
Don’t think your smarter,
You should conform.
Were bringing you to therapy,
talk to him/her.
tell them the truth,
Don’t lie it won’t help you.
Why can’t you be like the others?
What’s the matter with you?
Stop dreaming all the time.
Stop thinking so much
Here’s some meds
take them everyday
don’t talk back
I swear if you don’t, you’ll lose
listen to me I know.
See now your good,
you stopped dreaming,
you stopped talking so much,
you stopped thinking all the day,
see now your a zombie.
Now your happy? Right?
Well even if you arnt ,
you are
Because I said so.
Medication,
Killed my childhood.
Positive Thoughts
By Daniel Gebhardt
Positive thoughts will drive us
through these dark times.
We may seem alone, and captured
by this evil that has consumed,
our world.
But we as humans will prevail,
one may think there are no sunny
days ahead, but there is.
The sun will shine, smiles will become
contagious, and we all will laugh again.
The grass will be green, the sky will be
the bluest we have ever seen, news will
report only Positive news, and we will
prevail. Just sit back, take this time
to reflect on how we can help and
love each other. Maybe this is the
time out we need to discover how fast,
and irresponsible we were moving.
Our time is now to move toward,
happiness and love.
The universe is telling us to wake up,
it is giving us a chance to see the error in our ways. It is now our time to change the future and embrace one another.
We are not all different, we are the same.
So help, don’t hoard. Even if nobody knows your helping someone still do it.
Don’t do it for recognition, do it for yourself, and watch the blessings that come to you. Help one another.
Smile, and rejoice the world will get much better. Just learn patience. Love is the answer to this problem.
Once and Always
By Daniel Gebhardt
I guess it is true what they say once a addict always an addict. Why does this world make it so hard to stay clear mind, and clear body? When there are so many triggers all around. Everything is a trigger.
Nothing could stop me if I put my mind to picking up another drug or drink or mind altering substance. No one could tell me anything in the outside world, and no one could tell me anything anywhere I am. Why do I struggle so much when it is so easy for other people to stay sober and clear minded?
If my past was the judge I would be in this prison for the rest of my life, if god really did judge for past transgressions I would be in hell, burning for the rest of infinity. Why can’t mind mind wrap around the fact that these drugs do me nothing but harm and cause my life, relationships, and friendships to spririal out of control? I just hope and pray one day that I can get out of this cycle. Because to be locked up mentally and physically is the worst feeling in the world. But talking about my feeling has never been my escape.
Please hear me before I lose my mind. Where can I turn for help but back to what I know best. Give me the drug, and the drink I want to be out of this world.
Thank You
By Daniel Gebhardt
Can you feel the pain through my words?
if you could would you help?
or would you let me suffer the way you have in the past? Maybe you made me happy when you pretended you cared.
Maybe it was just my self, thinking you cared. Why every time I would do something bad, I would think it was you.
I always thought it was you playing games, lying, stealing, when in fact it was always me. It was my guilty conscious eating away at my very soul.
When you constantly try to get over on people, who are you really getting over on? No one but yourself. Why do I continue to think I am smarter than everyone else? When in fact they can see through my hair brained schemes. Slow down before you end up here for the rest of your life, is what my mind tells me but do I listen? Sometimes I listen sometimes I don’t and that is when I slip and do the wrong thing. I am trying to change but its hard.
Will you send me my better half? To hold on tight to me, and never let me go? I am ready to have her, and hold her, and never let her go. Never to cheat, lie , steal or break her heart. I just want to be good, and to have a woman who holds on to me and surprises me and let’s me love again will be the deciding difference. You are there and I am who you need.
They Say
By Daniel Gebhardt
They say there’s a million fish in the sea,
why have I had my fishing rod in the water for the past 33 years to no avail?
Why do I spend my time waiting on the shores, for the right bite. The big game, while in the mean time take all the small nibbles?
Why do I settle for the small game? When all knowing in the back of my mind knowing that somewhere, your out there in the midst, waiting paitiently for me, and going through all the pain as I have.
keep going through the lames in order to get your heart strong enough to handle someone such as me.
I am one and a million, you will never find another like me and that’s a promise, I should have had my own pond, lake, or river because I am the biggest game you’ll ever have the pleasure of having on your line. To be stuck in this small pond for this amount of time has just let me to grow stronger and smarter to not bite at just everything or anything. I have learned to wait for the right bait, and I know you have it.
Your out there amongst the big sea of people, and I will wait for you. I know you’ll come at the right time, right on time when I am ready for you and your ready for me. We will make history, and time will stand still when we are together. No one will ever come between us, nothing will separate us. Time is the only one that can hold us back right now. Keep swimming up stream, I will be there at the same time as you and we will meet soon. Until then stay strong and know I am here waiting for you.
Mistakes
By Daniel Gebhardt
I have made so many mistakes,
Follow me all the way down to the graveyard. Sometimes I wish it would all just come to the end.
To be where I am and suffer all alone, so far away from all existence and all people who say they love me.
do they really love me. I don’t even love myself, how can anyone ever love what I have become. When I go down the darkest roads, and people follow for sometime. But then I think, and lose everything.
Can’t I just start over, oh please creator or whoever you are, please hear me, hear my soul asking for the end. I don’t see anyone outside of myself anymore. I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Mistakes have made me who I am, but who am I? I contemplate every night about how I want this to be my last mistake. I smile everyday, but it’s just pretend.
Steering Wheel
By Daniel Gebhardt
Steer me in the right direction.
I always take lefts, and its never right.
Sorry for who I am, for who I have become. Sorry for leaving, sorry for thinking I am greater than I am.
Sorry for taking the wheel, and crashing right away. You have always given me the wheel and what do I do? Crash. One day I will have the automatic driver, who steers me in the right direction. Your not there anymore are you?
I’m not even at the wheel anymore, This has gotten to real, I am drunk at the wheel. I will be on auto pilot for the next few years. Wave goodbye, because I am driving away…
Everlasting Love
By Daniel Gebhardt
Is it a storm in my mind? or a storm in my heart? When I sit back and think and remember you, I go through a slew of emotions.
Happiness, sadness, joy, pain, and so many others. I can’t pin point what made me so attracted to you? was it your enchanting smile, your bright eyes that were like staring into the vast Universe? was it your long beautiful flowing hair, that shined brighter than any sun?
maybe it was the way you looked in my eyes when you told me you loved me, maybe it was the way you touched me when we made love. Maybe it was the way you took care of me when I was down, maybe it was how you made me feel like you truly loved me and cared for my every need and well being.
You were the only woman who I truly loved with my, heart, body, mind and soul.
There will never be another like you, air still see your face when I dream, when I smell cotton candy, I think of you and your sweet smell. No one will ever compare to you. Your perfect the way god created you.
I would do anything to see you happy, smile, and laugh your way through this confusing, scary world that is full of turmoil and heartbreak. It took me this many years to realize that the great woman on this earth was placed in front of me ever since I was a young child.
We were not right for each other at that point in Time, when we were together, now you’ll see that I am the man that you fell in love with. I just hope one day I am able to make you proud and happy you met me. One day your heart will beat for me, and you’ll remember kissing my soft warm full lips and you’ll crave my touch. I know how they’ll say if you love someone to let them go, but that that will never be who I am. I will love you forever, and will wait my turn to be the man you deserve.
Your a queen that deserves nothing but the best, you deserve to be waited on hand and foot, you will always be right, even when your wrong. You deserve to be cherished and have the ground you walk on to be lined full of rose pedals, and your chairs lined with gold.
You deserve a crown and the biggest and brightest diamonds in this world. You deserve to be called, beautiful, stunning, wonderful, and the most gorgeous woman to bless this universe, everyday….
You are a gift from god and I want you to know that you are the only woman to truly ever have my heart. I will never, ever, ever love a woman like I do you. I want you to be happy no matter what. Your what keeps me motivated to evolve and become a better man, you know who you are, your my everlasting love….
Love
By Daniel Gebhardt
To find love why must we look so hard? Why can’t it just find us? why must we go through the pain and anguish of trying so many times and failing? Love could be beating down our door, and sitting right in front of us.
But we always want to know what it’s like on the other side, is the grass really greener? or is it truly a delusion that our mind creates? Love is not easy to find because as I know it was never hidden. I may have thought that no one ever truly loved me.
But as I know now I don’t need to look for something that comes to me everyday whether it be in the beauty of the earth or the friendships that I have, it could be my family that truly cares for me, or it could be my mind that showers me with love. All I know is that love will find me, when I am truly ready to love everything else and everyone else…
Tonight
By Daniel Gebhardt
You will find no sleep here. You will ask but not recieve. Why do you you continue to haunt me? Why do you think you can get away with what you have done?
Is it ok that my children suffer? by having to call someone else my name? Is it right that you lied and said the things you did under that fake oath?
It doesn’t matter how much I tried, or how much I cried, nothing will ever be the same for me in this lifetime.
As you sit tonight in your cushy chair in your plush home, just remember that you forever changed my life and the path that was on.
But for that I am glad you lied and a little part of me died, because it made me the man I am today, now I will take this night over, and tonight wil begin for me and forever end for you.
“Maybe, you were not meant to be Blessed”
It is your faul that I feel the way I do? or is it my fault you act the way you do? How do I come between me and my god? Why do I want to be all alone when the world ends? Who will stick by my side? You judge me for what you read? You have not even met me yet, just because you read something someone else writes? Do you belive what a biased judge who goes over and over millions of cases a year says? Maybe you should just look deep into my soul and let me tell it from my point of view. Maybe you should let me tell it from my point of view and not just think you know everything from what you read of maybe you were never meant to be blessed by my presence, because watch when I am on the stage of life and your in the stands wanting to just touch my hand, just to feel what a true champion feels like.
Impress Me
By Daniel Gebhardt
What was I destin to do in this world?
Write for a living?
Be a prisoner for the remaining days?
Why Do I know there is so much more?
How do I know I have been here so many times before?
How do I know how to act around all?
Answer me that.
How do I know my way around the cosmos?
I can walk around the stars,
and shine brighter than all of them.
I am an extension of you but you don’t know yet, who I am.
Can you feel my mind when it controls
everyone around you?
Who’s Who
By Daniel Gebhardt
You two are my world,
I can’t be there right now.
You know I will never stop,
trying to be your father.
I will prove to you I am,
worth the wait.
I am growing up, not only
mentally, but physically.
I train my brain, with college
I train my muscles with weights,
I watch my mind grow,
I watch you two grow, taller
smarter,and better every
picture I receive.
When I was home, I wasn’t
now when I come home , its not
about me, but 100% about you.
What can I do for you?
Can I teach you, now I can reach out,
and feel the warmth of your love.
You never gave up hope, you guys never really koped.
I should have never left, I should have
never kept my heart only to myself.
I didn’t know how to love,
I didn’t know how to teach.
I didn’t know how to reach you.
I am smarter now, I am more power now.
I will be a father, I will be a teacher,
I will be better, I will care about 100% of,
what you do.
I will support you, I will carry you.
You can trust me, you can believe in me,
now I have changed for the better,
I will show you, better than I can say,
just pay attention, I will be there everyday.
This came from my heart for my boys.
Stars Can Bind You
By Daniel Gebhardt
Did you shine brighter,
when I was younger?
Did you leave star dust on me?
I know the brightness has faded,
slowly but surely.
Why did you stop, shining so bright?
Was it a collision? Was it because the,
son, shone brighter? Or did the clouds find you?
I can’t believe God made you dull,
nothing will ever take your warm glow.
But it has been dimmed, maybe its all,
the pain, and anguish, I have caused.
Maybe its not about me at all, maybe its
you. Maybe its a collection of all space dust. I know you shine bright still, just not when the son shines brighter.
He takes your glow, and shine
Does the sun revolve around the star?
or is it the other way around.
Mother earth needs , you to light the night, while the son brightens the day
and warms your heart, during the day.
When it time to go to sleep, its your time to shine, I can’t do it all. Play your roll,
before a Super-Nova happens. Or a black hole swallows you whole.
Time Doesn’t Fix
By Daniel Gebhardt
How can you love someone, you never met. How should I feel? Knowing you were never there, when I woke in painful sweats at night terrified that I’m dying, where were you?
Nowhere, nothing I am used to associating these words with you,
When I needed you , and you weren’t there don’t worry , I was never scared.
I learned to grow up from a very young age. I didn’t have the time to miss you, I never knew your presence.
You let others dictate how you treated me, you say it was for the best. You couldn’t take care of yourself, let alone a baby, who had a spirit that was greater than anything you had ever been in the presence of.
You could feel the spirit with me, you knew I was powerful from the start, to smart, funny, and handsome from the start. You never tried to find me, or even send me a birthday wish.
I’m nothing like you and will never will be, I will never give up my time, because it is all we have in this world. I can’t love someone I have never met. My heart can’t feel the time you weren’t there.
Associated
By Daniel Gebhardt
Who are you? to tell me anything?
Why is it when I need you,
your never anywhere to be found?
Can I count on you for moral support?
How about help with my emotions?
Have you ever really been there?
Why do I think you just like the sound,
of having a child?
Do you really know what it means to
have a child, that you care about?
Or do you just like saying you have
a troubled child? In prison?
That you support.
Why is it taking so long?
for me to understand that your
not here for me? Why do I continue,
to think your going to change?
You don’t care about me,
Simple and plain.
One day you’ll understand,
when your old and alone,
wondering what happened to your child?
Why is he so far gone?
Then you’ll understand my,
Association.
Play Gangster
By Daniel Gebhardt
Do you just play the role?
Or are you a true ganster?
A true ganster doesn’t need
to say they are.
Act the Part
play the part,
walk the part,
talk the part.
But when it comes down to it,
are you ready to live that life?
are you ready to pull the trigger,
on the yard, full of lions
only sheep can’t be by themselves.
Lions roar
sheep follow lines,
we create our own way.
Follow no one.
Learn to not play gangster.
Asleep
By Daniel Gebhardt
Am I awake?
Or am I just dreaming this nightmare?
I never thought My life,
would come to this.
Fast lane got me this.
Isn’t this punishment enough?
To watch your son, struggle so hard
to watch you son have a drug problem,
to watch your son struggle to breath,
is this what you wanted.
When you wished I would change,
but I didn’t and had to learn the hard way.
My pain and struggle is ,
the next mans glory
Men and women have a secured job, because of people like me.
If we weren’t built the way we are,
we wouldn’t be here, would we?
Would you be here?
no.
We have to be smarter than you.
We all have roles to play.
But do I have to be part of it?
I can make my self numb to it,
draw off the pipe of life,
just to get the high of life.
It brought me here, nothing more
nothing less.
I will not settle here, there’s a reason why I don’t belong.
I can be woke, but I never liked to be asleep. Can you wake me please?
No Love
By Daniel Gebhardt
Not Enough Time
By Daniel Gebhardt
Judges Split Us Apart
By Daniel Gebhardt
Death Doesn’t Knock
By Daniel Gebhardt
If I Knew for Sure
By Daniel Gebhardt
A Pain Killer
By Daniel Gebhardt
Seeds That Plant Themselves
By Daniel Gebhardt
Every Life Matters
By Daniel Gebhardt
Connections NOT Corrections
By Daniel Gebhardt
My King’s World
Drift Away
Volkswagen’s & Bonfires
By Daniel Gebhardt
Cheat Codes to Life
By Daniel Gebhardt
Questions For Self
By Daniel Gebhardt
French Fry
By Daniel Gebhardt
Clarity comes Early
By Daniel Gebhardt
Drive Ahead
By Daniel Gebhardt
The Key And The Door
By Daniel Gebhardt
Wisdom From Within
By Daniel Gebhardt
Today
By Daniel Gebhardt
Destiny
By Daniel Gebhardt
It always used to be someone else’s fault
It was never me, it was always your fault
I’ve never did anything wrong, I’m always right
You’re the one to blame, you created me, a monster
You decided my fate, you molded me into this
I never took control, I let so called fate decide who I am
You made all my choices, I just went along for the ride.
I was trusting, that you always had my best interest
When I used to look in the mirror, I didn’t see anyone
I exposed all my cards to you, I showed you nothing
I faked who I was, I was never him, I didn’t know
I figured I could shake through, pretending to be human
Do I have feelings? Do I actually care? Do I think at all?
I think I have a heart, at least the blood pressure machine says so
I tried to stop caring, but I can’t, I can focus now, I will win
I now see I have to get it myself, there is no such thing as luck
I create my own destiny, I can’t just let the world spin
I have to take action aways, I don’t always have to be in control
I am not programmed like every other human, I can shape my life
I can win, I can take responsibility for my own movie
I am solid, I am flexible, I am trust, I am still, I am lucky
Everything I do, I will succeed, no one will step in my way
I can get through anything and everything, you will not beat me
Now I look in the mirror and I see me, who am I? Who are you?
The only one who stands the least bit of chance of beating me is
Staring at me in the other side of the mirror, but all I have to do is stop looking.
New
By Daniel Gebhardt
Today is a new day, finally some extra freedom for my body and mind. I was free before mentally but now I have a new outlook on who I can be. I m not only free from the restraints of a level that controls your every move. They dictate what you do and when you do it. I could always have been free, but I choose the path of destruction for not only myself but all of my loved ones. The ones you hurt the most are the ones who would do anything for no matter the cost. Now that I feel more free doesn’t mean, I can relax in any way shape or form, I have to try even harder now, than I have ever tried in my life. Now is a chance to prove who I can be and what I can do with my life. I will take the right fork in the road this time, ad prove nothing to nobody because the only one I have to prove my worth to is myself. I believe that I am a changed man, on the outside and on the inside. I can never stop evolving and gaining self knowledge every day. I need to be seen as a leader and never a follower, but the real truth is I don’t have to prove anything to anyone, only to myself and the most high.
Ego
By Daniel Gebhardt
I didn’t leave you, I left only myself
I projected my anger, fear, anxious
Feelings over to you, you’re stronger
Than I ever will be, or have been
There’s nothing in this universe, that
Will ever stop me from loving you,
You mean more than words could
ever express, I will kill, destroy, manipulate
For you, I will not stop.
You’re the best drug I have ever felt
You course through my blood and
Put me on the top of the world
I stand 10 feet tall when you talk
To me, I fear you, I love you, I need you
Nothing or anyone will ever stop me
From getting your approval
Why deep down do you want me to
Suffer, have pain, have loss and die slowly?
You’re evil and you take my breath away with
Your beauty everytime I see you, but at
the same time I want you dead.
Tell me who I speak of?
Do you know?
We
By Daniel Gebhardt
Conscious/Mirror
By Daniel Gebhardt
You don’t think you can beat me do you?
You think you know how I think?
You think you can predict my actions?
You think you’ll know how I’ll react?
You think you can tell my mood by my stage look
You think to much, you think you’re ahead of me but the truth is …
You’re so worried about me, you forget yourself
You forgot to love and cherish
You forgot to eat and drink
You forgot to work out
You forgot to condition your mind
You forgot how to be human
You forgot how to be positive
You forgot how to chase your dreams
You forgot how to live
As I look in the mirror, I recite this to myself
If I know who I am , I can beat you at everything
I know all about you, because I am you
I will change, I will be positive
I will condition my mind and body
I will be who I want, not what others portrait me as
If you want it, you have to go get it
Good things don’t come to those who wait,
but those who go get it.
Demons
By Daniel Gebhardt
I die a little more each day. I use to believe that now I know that. I try to not give up on humanity, but I can’t trust people in power have my best interest in mind. Just another statistic in the books, just another number in the system, I had my chance to change again and again screwing it up, always wanting to break the rules, never understanding the actions I choose have a reflect on everyone, not just me. I caused pain, hurt, hateful feelings in a lot of people, helplessness, sleepless nights I took this life and works for granted, now I am remorseful or am I? Do I just say these things to make others happy? My mind continues to believe that this in not real and will change when I yell cut, and change the actors and scripts time to get control of this lawlessness, this over-privileged mind, knocking on death’s door, he opened and said welcome with dead bone filled arms, but someone and something greater than myself took me back and said I could not have true peace yet, I must be and am chosen to change the way this story is going, I will fulfill this destiny I have, I will end the demons that control this movie.
My Perspective
By Daniel Gebhardt
When emotions control your life you will never win, you should only take calculated risks and not chances. Love is the most important trait you can establish with everyone, if you know and study your enemy you will conquer this world, but your only “true” enemy is yourself. Nobody can beat you worse than you. It’s time to start believing in yourself, if you do this all others will fall right into place. Everyone needs to develop self-confidence because all of us have it, no one person is greater than the next, we may believe we are, but all humans are the exact same only different. We can all be a force for good if we work together and not see negative in each other. Even the smallest minds have big ideas that can be used together so it’s time to stop denying others the respect and love they deserve from all of us, why build walls, when we could build trust and love with one another? Than we can build our connection back to the one who brought us here. We will learn and evolve, but we need direction and a collective mind.
Me
By Daniel Gebhardt
True artists deal with an unsustainable amount of pain throughout their lives, everyday ever since they were born it has been a struggle in some sort of way or form, nothing ever truly went the way it was supposed to. Bored everyday in school, never trusting anyone, not even themselves, every day looking in the mirror not knowing who their going to see at that point in time. To nice to let others verbally assaulted them, because knowing deep inside they have the power and ability to destroy their enemy, but understanding if they release their power it will devastate not only them, but many others, it would cause much more hurt than good caring for life because the Lord’s will has been instilled since birth. Hidden talent and marvelous powers have been here all along, it just took the darkest powers to unleash them, we all knew it was here all along but were always to cautious to bring it out. Pain and anguish, lies, false hopes have been here and will continue to be until the day we close our eyes for good. But they put in front of the open door because you have to go through it and not around to find out who you need to be. Your strength, honor, trust, ability to compete, ability to go on will be tested if you’re chosen. You will succeed, but it’s a long, long journey, how bad do you want it? It’s like breathing when someone takes away my air I will fight for every breath. You have to be the same way about success, then you will change.
Day One
By Daniel Gebhardt
How do I escape the reality of still being trapped in my darkest reality? I know that I am not there anymore and I am more free than I have been in a long time, but my mind still can’t wrap it self around the concept of me being stuck in a box for more than 23 hours a day. Someone told me we only have 2 emotions, that we are able to display in our daily lives and those are fear and love. So which one am I displaying now? it must be more fear with flashes of love here and there because they tell me I come out and look around my surroundings before I take my next move. I think in my mind that, that’s what I am supposted to do “be aware” not only consciously but physically. But maybe I’ll be the first to admit that I am somewhat wrong. Everyone around me seems to be wolves and that is what I am, but I see them as sheep, because I secretly know what I am capable of? or because I have learned that everyone around me is a projection of me? If I display love and eminate it, will the universe give it back to me? Of course it will I just need to have faith.
*Acceptance *
By Daniel Gebhardt
When I wake in the morning I feel as if this is a new day and new chance to right my faults that I continue to have on a daily basis. But then I stop and think does yesterday really matter? to the small closed mind it does, when I expand my mind and actually try to grasp that this stent between these four walls is only a moment in time that I have already lived over and over in infinite time lines and dimensions. Is that the reason why I keep remembering or having flashes of the future of me already doing this. I believe that everyone and everything happens for the exact reason it is happening. There is no such thing as karma, what ever is or was going to happen is going to be no matter what you do, it is not because of how nice or mean you are to others it will simply just be. One day in the near future we will all think alike and be on the same page of living in harmony with one another, because we are all connected in more ways than one. We just “look” physically different. Acceptance is the universal thought.
“Begin Somewhere”
By Daniel Gebhardt
When I sit back and observe all these other minds and body’s in motion I just try to fathom their existence why was I placed here next to them? was it truly because I broke the law? or was it a higher purpose? that I needed to slow down, I was moving way to fast and needed a break from my nothingness, to be honestly truthful I only held myself in high regard I had no use for anyone or anything because I thought that nothing else mattered but me. When I got the chance to “sit” for an extended period of time this is when I began to realize that not only did I really hurt the ones that loved me, but most of all my self. I am working on self everyday, I know this sounds selfish but the more I fully understand to love my self, the more love I exert to others around me. ( the ones who still love and cherish me) I never understood what love was or the meaning of it, but I am now starting to grasp the true meaning of love. Love is what I want out of life, not acceptance but love, If I require it I must extend it out to others right?
*Honor*
By Daniel Gebhardt
To step into a den full of lions and be the only wolf is quite intresting. I know that I feel the power and mental of my ancestor’s, I have the drive and determination to become a leader for the people and not just my own kind. I know that it doesn’t matter if everyone likes me because true leaders carry themselves in a way that seems arrogant and “stuck up” but it is not viewed by the person in power that way at all. I think to act in that way prepares us for the greater good of humanity, because we can represent our people in a way that will be respected and not feared. Any great leader will tell you that to be feared is not the same as being respected. I want better for my people, I want them to have a voice and not always be stuck on mute. Now when I say my people I mean us as a whole not just one race. I believe once we get over our differences and realize that the only differences we have is our “physical” and not “mental” that is when we become one.
*Space*
By Daniel Gebhardt
Who am I to question why I am here or what I am supposed to do with my life? I thought that this was a question for a higher more intellectual power that knows all and is all. I am soon coming to find out that speaking and praying out into the universe only brings me dissapointment and heartache, because when I expect that something will transpire and happen the way I through it would or should happen doesn’t it makes me think there is no point in sending my thoughts into the blank space we call this universe. To be honest with my self how do I even know any of this universe even exists outside of what surrounds me? I can’t be in more than one place at any given moment in time, so I don’t really know for sure if it is really happening at all, I watch the idiot box and see all the change that takes place all over this world and think to my self is this what I created? Years of me breaking the law, stealing, manipulating my way to what I thought was the top? All of my exerted effort was for nothing at all. I wasted 30 years of my life on nonsense, the time is now to bring back sanity and peace and most of all love to this thing we call “life” or “space”.
*Makes Sense*
By Daniel Gebhardt
You got me when I was so young, you thought you were doing me a favor, you your self were not necessarily old but not in the best position to take care of me. You think you did me a favor, is that what you think you did for me? No consequences of negative actions for me, I could do anything with out worrying about being punished because I knew you were weak, they said I had “menatal instability” but was that really what it was? or am I just good at acting? Do you really know if I had anger problems? or if I used my stature to my advantage at all times? Did I always have a hidden agenda? I know I did, but you didn’t I became a spoiled, over privlaged, piece of shit because of all the “love” you tried to buy me with. The truth is hard for you read or see or understand, because how could you have screwed up another life that bad. Blind your self with all the good you thought you did for me. When you bought my love that is what I knew to be love. What does it mean when I had no feelings of caring if I didn’t get my way or the newest best items before everyone else did. Why do you think I never wanted to spend “quality” time with you? Maybe because when I showed my emotions , you sent me to a therapist and they tried to tell me I was depressed, the truth being you never taught me how to be happy without items. I got everything I ever wanted and never had to ask twice, if you said no I knew how to “act up” just enough and say the “right things” to get you to feel bad enough for me to get what I want. Is it right on my part? Absolutely not, but when I look back or try to , this is what I was taught to do. It was a mirror of the images I saw in you. As much as you don’t like certain things about me, certain personality traits of mine you have to take a step back and look deep inside yourself because I learned from you. Arrogance, bully traits, boss traits, how to speak my way in or out of a situation, How to get anything I want, showing my soft side then sinking my teeth in to what I want so there is no chance to escape. All of these things you don’t like you can thank your self because you taught me, groomed me from a very young age to never quit , never accept failure, always be well dressed, well spoken. Some call it manipulation, I call it fitness because I am working out my brain until it is as hard as my heart , so fit that there can be no softness left, which is dangerous because I don’t really know how to love you. Material things are what I believe you get me to show me you love me? Right? How’s your life? Depressed because your not as smart as you think you were? I guess I evolved not just a little more but a lot more, if the story came from your mental it would go a whole different way, ungreatfull , un appreciated, asshole, always only worried about what I can get, who can be told these over and over again with out hardining of their heart and emotions? Its to late for you to understand what you have done? Famous words of yours ” I’m doing my best” we both know that’s not true in the least because if you were your life would be a whole lot better, but your content with being nothing. I’m not and will never be, “I would if I could” doesn’t even exist in my mind anymore , I replaced it with “I Can and I will” I believe in me, not you anymore.
Pain
By Daniel Gebhardt
Distrust from everyone
Deep inside I know,
This is not me
As I scan my mind
For a hope or glimmer of hope
I look deeper, strive harder
But for what? For who?
Is it myself, or who I think I am?
Do you know?
Physical pain is real or is it?
Does my mind control this?
If I focus on the true pain, and zero in
It is not really pain, but true happiness
At least I know who I am, you don’t have to
Know I will beat any problem
I focus harder, meditate more, believe more
That my mind can beat pain
I create the pain. I am the only one who can
Destroy it fully, I cause it, I beat it
Focus more, my mind will seek only what I deserve, and that is
Peace, tranquility and love. There is not pain anymore, only joy in my life.
Pain can not stop me, not even death. My mind will live on
My conscience will always be here fighting pain and winning.
Power and Passion
By Daniel Gebhardt
Gray, Not Black & White
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| Daniel Gebhardt 320158 G. Robert Cotton Correctional Facility 3500 N. Elm Avenue Jackson, MI 49201 |
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