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Death Watch Journal for Kevin Varga – DAY 9

How can I look into my mirror and not see this monumental change that must have occurred in me but the same image stares at me from those depths. The world I know has shifted off its axis. I do have some good news of sorts. I have heard from this writ writer that he has an additional idea. The guards brought me some forms today, which I was to sign. I asked where they had come from, and he told me this inmate. I started to read through them, and felt my heart soar. The guard likes me and asked if it was good news, and said the person who sent them had been up all night working on this. I have to get some information from the free world, and that is what these forms are for, some sort of permission from me. He isn’t even asking me for funds to pay for this, though I know it must be costing him. You don’t know how good some of the people are back here. You think they are all monsters because that is what the news tells you. Some of the best people I know live back here. Hope springs up maybe.

82 days to live.

Kevin Varga

© Copyright 2010 by Kevin Varga and Thomas Bartlett Whitaker. All rights reserved.

No Comments

  • terry
    March 12, 2010 at 7:49 pm

    I can hardly sleep thinking of Kevin's situation. When I read the way the guards handle an inmate's breakdown broke my heart, as I'm sure it breaks Kevin's heart- and spirit. All I can do is pray for you, and send you my words of support. Remember that even though you may not always see or feel it, God IS there.

    Reply
  • D Ruelas
    March 12, 2010 at 7:55 am

    Hi Texson:
    I believe you need to re-read the entry (although if you are reading it with a critical mind only…maybe you should not). The guards DID NOT beat Kevin…they beat another inmate that was having a nervous breakdown. And there are several guards, some nice, some not so nice…it is not the same ones that are nice and turn around and torture an inmate…I agree with Dixie, if you cannot have any compassion (and I said "compassion", not "pity"), it would be best you keep your thoughts to yourself! None of us, or our family are exempt of going through hard times as these. One day you may need someone to have compassion on you also. Kevin…I continue praying for you also.

    Reply
  • Dixie
    March 10, 2010 at 7:20 pm

    Texson,
    Why in the world are you posting on this site, questioning DP policies you know nothing about? Why would you question a man who's actually living under such inhumane conditions. I have no doubt that you are not sympathetic to Kevin's situation and that is your right. However, this is not the appropriate forum for you to address that! Bless you Kevin and I am praying for you.

    Reply
  • Anonymous
    March 10, 2010 at 9:00 am

    On one hand you say the guard beat you but on the other hand they give you forms for your writ? Something is not right with this picture. Why would the guards who beat you turn around and help you out?

    Reply

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