Breathing is Motivation……
By Dewan Evans
Here I rise for a reason
My life is monumental
Blessings got me through
Fact is a lot of things
We will never understand why we go through
Here I stand to tell you truth
Innocent man locked in
Life made my soul black and blue
Injustice is what I been through
With just a hope and prayer to get me through
One wish for my redemption
To rekindle bonds with my kids and family
Despite 25 years trapped in I still have kept my sanity
With no strength to fight here i stand today
Surviving these barbwire gates
Here I stand to tell you what I been through
By the blessings here I stand today ……
Spoken Word
By Dewan Evans
you couldn’t imagine
being sentenced for many years
over two decades away from peers
no hugs, no kisses
just tattoo tears
you couldn’t imagine
being a innocent man for twenty years
voice mute for help
you lose faith in God and self
you couldn’t imagine
being set up for death
I couldn’t imagine I would survive
to be here on ten toes feeling blessed
you couldn’t imagine
when my mother died
to hear your grand ma died
having to disguise tears in your eyes
you couldn’t imagine
your seeds manipulated believing lies
I was on the edge
seconds from suicide
only to close my eyes
to wake with air in my lungs
guessed God wasn’t ready for me to die
you couldn’t imagine
pain afflicted cause the color of my skin
the world is ugly its hard to grin
you couldn’t imagine
being the underdog everyday trying to win
never screamed for sympathy
just played the cards I was given
you couldn’t imagine…
“” being a innocent soul locked behind steel bars for life
“””many days air is hard to breath””……(emotions)
Love Strings
By Dewan Evans
love contained in my heart strings so deep
you captured my love
my heart no longer a castaway
got me believing in love
my heart leaped your way
blessings, we’re alined for better days
can’t wait to hold you
be your sun on cloudy days
life ain’t fair ,I agree with you there
now that our hearts are here
we should hold no fear
in order to grow
we have to nurture each other souls
make our reality stand bold
fighting for our destiny to unfold
I thought never again no
till my heart made it clear
it loved you beyond any fear…..
Love Strings….
(True love grows and blossoms to protect each other .two hearts…)
Life
By Dewan Evans
i could barely breath, but I was still conscious
eyelids filled with darkness
no voice to respond
my soul felt drowned
couldn’t wake with a alarm
felt the cards i was dealt were wrong
so I felt misfortune
depression settled in
life,
I was close to forfeiting
the man in the mirror, I couldn’t see him
felt like the world didn’t need him!
contemplating different ways to take my life
just when I surrendered on life
a blessing came on site
that gave me hope to fight
reminded me
i been a dreamchaser since I had sight
against all odds blessed with life
never give! keep the fight!!!
P:S EVERYDAY YOU WAKE YOU HAVE A CHANCE TO MAKE THINGS BETTER , TO ENJOY THE PERKS OF THE WORLD LOVED ONES AND BUILD YOUR LEGACY! EVEN THROUGH THE STRUGGLE YOUR LEGACY SHOULD READ THAT YOU FOUGHT FOR BETTER TILL YOUR END!!!DON’T COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS BE APPRECIATIVE OF THEM!
ON THE EDGE .PRESSURE BUST A PIPE! PRISON JOURNAL..
By Dewan Evans
sitting inside a cold cell early in the am I woken….I thought it was a dream but once my feet hit the cold cell floor that initial thought flew right out of mind and the reminder of reality kicked in that I was in prison…. Locked in pelican bay one of the most violent prisons in California at the time no lie I felt like I might die inside this belly of the beast ! to be honest I’ve always been scarred of death on any measure! but dieing in prison a innocent man haunted me day in day out! a lot of people hear that and think its cleeshay or one on lock just not accepting responsibility but fact is there is a lot of innocent ones confined also many railroaded by the system on a lot of different alleged crimes… as the morning began there was not yet light…
I made me a cup of coffee in my hot pot my daily routine and with no noise due to it being so early in the morning I sipped my coffee and meditated but there is never a day I don’t think of being confined for another’s rage or for a system exaggerating things and also using pawns to put the blame on me as some sit free and should be where I am that eats at me every day! not to have animosity toward those who played a part to put me here is something extremely hard to not to wish…being judged because the perception that I am a guilty man to the world to family and kids is something i can’t never get used to 22 years in…I don’t scream innocence just because its for only one reason cause I am and God knows I wish the world did to! if you were in my shoes you would think just like me or give entirely on life! its not fair too not have a voice not to have defense and to sit inside a cage for over two decades especially with facts of pure innocence and being railroaded…this morning I remember so vividly i felt so overwhelmed as I sipped my coffee I wanted to end my life the pressure was real and I was at my breaking point! to be something that your not to know your life is this cold cell day in day out for over a decade at this time was just to overwhelming! I had no strength just contemplating the end of my life as I began to ponder the ways that I could .I felt like death was the way for escape from this pain being trapped in not able to be a father and away from family and feeling like God didn’t love me took me down.
there were razor blades broke apart local in the cell that I had saved up that officers didn’t get back and I began to think of swallowing them in hopes that would take me out! before I could even move how ironic it was to get a letter from my grand mother slid under my cell door. it was reroute mail and passed to me late because of that and that is one thing that had put a stop to the thoughts I was struggling with. as I open the letter on my bunk it read son never give God will find you a way home on his time be patient! I felt I’ve been patient enough but my grandmother telling me it felt different in my mind,still struggling though with the thoughts of ending my life I began to think of my grandmother words and my family and kids if you go today this will be my legacy and my innocence will probably never be exposed and to leave my family like this isn’t the way… I laid on the cold cell floor with no shirt on just sweats and socks and I clinched my grandmothers letter and as I laid there I seem paralyzed and couldn’t make any moves those thoughts of ending my life were still there I had mixed emotions but fact I was somehow paralyzed I laid till my eyes closed and my cell door opening hours later …since that day it is still a struggle to be contained here innocent and those that played a part to put me here are in situations that never wished they would be in! but that doesn’t make me happy then you have those still floating through life with a smile and manipulating those that will believe them ..I’ve grown stronger but still fight everyday to stay afloat mentally , not a easy thing ! but I don’t want my legacy to be me giving up! leaving this earth without trying to expose my innocence and how i was railroaded by the system and lies!God has gave me life, strength and hope to get through these 22 years and I’m still fighting today ! now with help to expose the truth! ….
I Still Pray….
By Dewan Evans (INNOCENT 1)
its crazy what some will do for fame
to keep it real though
fortune could help you in these unjustly days
vaccines mandate
but you can catch the virus anyway
I think its a conspiracy
justice system don’t play fair
let one of their own make a mistake
bet they see clear
while the misfortune suffer for years
without facts clear
judged by bias peers
like the perception is real
just cause you reside behind steel
betrayal scared me I never healed
a body covered with tattoo tears
I had to learn to show no fear
homeless youngin in a wild atmosphere
no lie I wanted to live like fresh prince of bel air
never did I see the cards was fair
if you walked in my shoes
you would see the truth no dares
feel the pain
I wasn’t perfect
times I went against the grain
every time I prayed it was sincere trying to change
no excuses! my decisions was the blame
but here I sit innocent in a cage
I STILL PRAY!!!
( SOMETIMES IN LIFE WE HAVE NO CHOICES AND OTHERS MAKE DECISIONS FOR U..I RESIDE IN THE BELLY OF THE BEAST FOR THAT REASON! BUT I AM NOT PERFECT!!!
If I Could See Down the Long Road
By Dewan Evans
for sure i would of detoured
from tragedy and betrayal
days i was frail in a shell like a snail
who would of dreamed decades in a prison cell
no I wasn’t perfect
neither is life we all have failed
what I look like not screaming innocent out my cell
those know who lied
testified with fake cries
public defender couldn’t look me in the eyes
our conscious we can never run from
to many fakes with disguise’s
time only makes us wiser
if we paying attention
this long road I’ve been on
is far away from home
no love ,this system heartless and cold
like the days as a youngin
in the streets I used to roam
i was without a home
till my aunt offered shelter
through my eyes the world was heltah skelta
if I could rewind
I wonder if these present days would be better
wishing I could see down that long road
maybe it would change the hands of times ……
All My Life
By Dewan Evans
i’ve been asking why the tribulations why did i have to perservere hide my tears in a world that will take you down if it smells fear all my life…. i’ve been running up hill truth is i had my moment ,it was surreal wished for it ,for many years the saying is be cautious what you wish for one day it will become real i lost myself in the moment like a bottle with no seal wishing i could rewind the days how can i strive for better days when i lack the faith for some its easy to say to keep the faith imagine locked in a prison cell senteced for life till you passed away for assumpptions, exaggrated case when those could have still free to this day the old me would wish their worst day but i’m a diffrent man today all my life….. i’ve been fighting to keep the faith trying to numb the pain everyday i’m blessed to see the sun rise wishing for a love that is not camouflaged,minus the flaws all my life…. seems right for it to be hard i’m bravehearted with eternal scars with questions for God only cause i’m human all my life…..
If I had One Chance
By Dewan Evans
if I had one chance to make you smile
make you feel invincible
to take you pass ecstasy
I would do it a million times
cherish your worth ,your shine
from day one you had me feeling your vibe
a billion people
our presence aligned
I know it seems simple
but it could be divine
strength and love
happiness forever times
the day I saw your eyes
had me wishing you was mine
truth is angels fly
dreams come true if you keep them alive
for whatever its worth
let’s keep our presence aligned
in hopes we meet before the end of time …….
Record Strait!!!
By Dewan Evans
oh these haters got a lot to say
they see these prison bars
they see what’s reported in black and white
feel like I’m guilty for life
they want me to suffer
wishing death upon me
that’s crazy!
cause they don’t know the truth
don’t know my story
but truly only God can judge me!
over two decades in over lies and different stories
from the same ones that could of did the dirty
represented by a public attorney
who cared less bout my innocence
so you hater why don’t you get the facts
then run your mouth bout that!
you wish death but God had a different plan
twenty three years confined
but here I still stand
the truth will be exposed
its clear as day
I guess you don’t know
how this scandalous justice system go
take years of your life
then apologies and let you go
so you hater with opinion
I’m not mad at ya!
one day we will all face our rapture…
see the thing is I’m a innocent man on all cylinders and this whole thing me here was exaggerated to the extreme!! and for your info I’m no criminal! ..those that lied they felt the pressure on their selves that they could be where I am today for over two decades so that’s there reasons to lie but if it was anything to happen they could of been suspect to!….i’m not caged for guilt more less assumption and lies and a public defender that gave one f**** about my innocence… you can assume hater who you think I am and wish the worst for me but God got that part! and I do appreciate your passion though but never assume to many lives have been destroyed over assumptions….and its funny hater you boast what you think but not facts! like the children teen book I wrote on Amazon or the many poems and self help to those struggling souls of all ages …nor did you try to find facts where I’m innocent or only boasting fake assumptions my way ….God got you and hear you tho!
George Floyd…no justice!
Spoken Word by Dewan.Evans
no justice with facts abundance
you can’t tell me nothing!
skin color plus authority of the law
wins again
after killing a innocent soul with intent
if it was a brother in those shoes
even with no evidence
there his life go
forever behind the bricks to die slow
we all seen the video, a knee to the juggler
a winless soul screaming for his mother
hoping they let him go
let him breathe
instead momma was his last scream
now he rest in peace
but not in the streets
souls of love embraced on march
22 years was gave
just cause the power of position
chauvin had a mask on
but you could see him grinning
had the nerve to speak after sentence
like I didn’t mean for it to come to this
he serves half his time with evidence
what about thousands on lock ,
with fraudulent evidence
skin color played apart
plus dollas and cents
the less fortunate locked up in a pit
basis assumptions and lies
reason I’m still doing time
they gave 27 mill to the floyds
like here is a precious gift
no money is worth a life for a gift
wrong is wrong ,right is right
there was no justice today
with all the truth to light
a disrespectful blow to a precious life ….George Floyd….
no justice!!!!
its hard to love
By Dewan.Evans
with a heart that has been wounded
never healed
from betrayal when It thought love was real
“its hard to love”
when your heart has been left deserted
emotions ,homeless
“its hard to love”
when your heart feels love is just a disguise
“its hard to love”
when betrayal played you to many times
my heart was big on love
now small as a dime
“its hard to love”
when you stop dreaming
stop believing
it’s hard to love……..
Spoken Word Poetry
By Dewan Evans
depression got me parallelized
I write between these lines
letting my soul cry
trapped in this cage wishing I could fly
to see my granny in the sky
I still wonder why we die?
why war never dies?
i been up against it
since the beginning of time
its the worst days
I found strength to stay alive
I’m still wondering why?
is it GODS plan?
or just a miracle I’m alive?
truth always comes in time
just like the sun
eventually it will rise
these bars make innocence a disguise
take racism out yo eyes!
depression got me parallelized…..
TRAPPED SOUL
Spoken Word by Dewan Evans
trapped in a 8 by 9
barely can see the sky
convicted unjustified
a lonely soul as days unfold
no embrace with love
just these bars that cold
I prayed to God
exposing I’m a innocent soul
decades have flown
so this dark cell is called home
haunted by pass souls
some cursed from the go
others just lost in the moment
its been days, I felt free for a moment
like a angel took me by her wings
flew me to where I don’t know?
my lungs felt a different air
my soul felt like it could fly, through mid air
a peaceful moment, from a cell full of fears
from trapped souls for many years
unfortunately I’m still here…..
world change
By Dewan Evans
our future growing with no racism in their vains
no police raids where a innocent person is slaid
no unjust railroaded in a cage
no youth that screams for help goes unsaved
justice is scandalous authorities got to pay
no secrets to jeopardize our health in future days
the world in need of world change
no racism ways ,equal rights,
only way for world change
how God saved me
By Dewan Evans
i was on the edge middle of no where
thoughts deserted no control of my emotions
in life the sky was no longer blue when I looked up
my soul felt dehydrated
my vision was blinded by darkness
my faith was targeted by faulty charges
I tried and tried to make it through
finally exhausted I fail on two knees not knowing what to do
my hands came together
I always remembered what “grand ma” taught me
pray daily not just in desperate times
but i was in desperate times
a broken wing I couldn’t fly
it was a miracle I was alive
I remember cold nights wishing to die
hoping it was painless
not from guilt ,to say this I feel shameless
only to rise again to face the same script
naive that life is a luxury and Gods gift ,Gods wish
a blessing came true he gave me strength
healed a bond that I thought would never be till I was heaven sent
I gained focus and faith got my grip
backed away from the edge so I wouldn’t slip
with more strength in my legs
faith in my heart
my days no more in the dark
God rejuvenated my heart…..
Many feel like
Spoken Word Poetry from E-Book: My Daily Bread
(Go to Amazon.com/ebooks)
Spoken Word Poetry from E-Book: My Daily Bread
(Go to Amazon.com/ebooks)
2 Hearts
By Dewan Evans
Spoken Word Poetry from E-Book: My Daily Bread
(Go to Amazon.com/ebooks)
You get me going, heart pumping
Mind racin’, anticipating feeling your touch
I’m not faking, I tried to shake it
Deepens the temptation
Can’t be infatuation or my imagination
You’re a beautiful creation
One in a million presentation
You in my life, you will always be appreciated
Strive hard, to always keep us affiliated
Let’s make it through the rainy days
Embrace under sun rays, better days
Skies the limit, life got many pivots
Me and you together, we grip it!
Two of the same hearts on a mission
-2 Hearts –
I Wish
By Dewan Evans
I wish it wasn’t no bad days
I wish war wasn’t present
I wish death wasn’t destiny
I wish some facts wasn’t irrelevant
My wish is only a prayer
That’s only evident
I will keep wishing, till I’m heaven sent
Some tragedies don’t make sense
I wish God would vent
So I could really understand why it’s meant
Time is essence
I wish I could rewind, to better my present
I wonder if my wishes came true
Would life be better spent
Will my homeless feelings be sheltered
Will my soul be heaven sent?
I wish!
Desire
By Dewan Evans
You gave me strength to rise
A reason to believe
Keep hope and a dream
You’re someone I admire
I know
Situations make it harder
I hope we grow stronger
My heart
Can’t fight it no longer
It ponders and dreams
Only to wake to reality
Days you seem close to me
Like we have a chance to be
Is my mind playing tricks on me?
I would give you my air to breathe
No questions, my heart confesses
The old me
Would of hid these possessions
Feelings resurrected
Making you a desire that never left me
– My Desire –
Words of Truth
By Dewan Evans
(verse one)
You haven’t walked in my shoes
You really don’t have a clue
Some say I question God
Did wrong!
And it’s only right
I sit behind bars
Despite I’ve been blessed for 20 years
Walking prison yards
Covered with tattoo tears
God and death my only fear
Dreamed to go far
Now my only dream is freedom from these bars
Reuniting with family
Means more, than any salary
Haters won’t understand me
They want me to stay causality
They deaf of my innocence
Blind of my love
No acting, no Grammy
Missing my granny
Solid part of the family
You’ve felt pain you understand me
(verse two)
The sun hasn’t always shined
In a life like mine
It was special days
Like witnessing my daughter’s first cries
Never forgot the bad days
Like my son in a hospital bed
Wishing I could trade my life for his
Take his pain
Know if it was purposely did
By those who fibbed!
I’m far from perfect
So I ask for forgiveness
Not for wealth or negative gain
Mainly cause my heart sane
Love in its veins
My conscious speaks every day
About the dirt I did!
How I got to get right
If my soul wants to live
I hope God forgives
Comprise, understand things I did!
From a youngin’ to a grown man
-Words of truth-
Rewind
Lost Heart
By Dewan Evans
How can I breathe
When my air was taken
My heart was mistaken
Now it’s paying, pain, suffering
Never will I trust again
Tho it’s attached to me, like my best friend
It’s crazy how your heart spins
We only have one heart to give
I gave mine and got DID!
I guess it’s a lesson at the end
That’s why we live
I’m still fighting to love again
If it’s in the cards
I may find true love and happiness
Right now my heart is PLADDED
Filled with no trust and saddened
A lost heart that’s drastic measure
Lost heart that’s trying to find the sun
In this dark era
Lost Heart.
Fortunate
By Dewan Evans
Fortunate to be breathing
Fortunate to be strong, fighting these demons
I’m living for a reason
Fortunate to have two beautiful kids succeeding
Strength to keep breathing
Even though my prayers seem like they not being greeted
Fortunate for a reason
Despite struggling every season
Fortunate to have loved ones
It’s appreciated from my soul & heart
Fortunate to shine when it’s dark
Fortunate to be forgiven
Not to be imprisoned in my own mind
Fortunate to see my blindside
Blessed from the other side
Fortunate is a blessing, is what I recognize!
Fortunate!
Dear Momma
By Dewan Evans
I know you not here
Since that year, your son been stressed, for real
I know we was distance at times
You had your own demons to fight
True I felt abandoned
To this day, still don’t understand it
How can Momma leave her son?
Flesh and blood on the run
As I grew older, still confused
Holdin’ anger, seeing you with strangers
Your appearance lookin’ stranger
You kinda turned into a stranger
But my heart still held love, like remainders
Prayed for the day we would reunite
That day never happen
The day you died, got the news
It was tragic, now that you gone
I send questions and love up above
I hope you answer your son
Dear Momma!
Life
By Dewan Evans
People going to war
Coming back home disfigured
Still wearing U.S. memorabilia
Some starvin’, homeless in the street
You put ya life on the line, claimin’ U.S. pride
When it’s all said and done, you not respected
I guess being a hero
You get treated like a zero
Government wishin’, they could keep this on the low
How low can you go, sabotaging your own?
Life is precious even if it’s not your own.
I continue to dream on
Knowing God is sitting on the throne
Sees what’s going on
I pray for better days
Hope the weak get stronger
The innocent dodge strays
Life has a fast lane
So pray to stay blessed till your last day.
Life!
Letter 2 God
By Dewan Evans
You have kept me alive 38 years
A lot of those years
Life wasn’t easy. Even on them bad days
I kept a smile, a young child
Learning to swim in the pool of life
No Father figure, Mamma’s only child
She was barely around
Grandma found me in the Lost and Found
Had to man up, even though I was a young buck
These questions have been built up
Since you haven’t answered through prayer
I send this letter
Hopin’ it gets through heaven’s gates
I’m still learning from my mistakes
Hope to be a better man on Judgement Day
Dwelling behind heaven’s gates
So we can really conversate
I hold anger today
For being convicted
In these false courts today
Wondering why
You dealt me these cards to play.
My Angel
Imagine
Battles
In My Shoes
Spoken Word Poetry
From E-Book: Still Fighting
(Go to Amazon.com/ebooks)
Trevon Martin
Trevon Martin –
No matter the color of our skin
We all bleed red within
Judgin me like I don´t fit in
Just cause the color of my skin
Is not the right way to live
Many innocent people
Have been victims to this
There is no excuses
Racism is useless
Holdin anger is not positive
Somethin I had to register
It´s plenty with Trevon´s character
Hoodie and dark skin
Taking a shortcut
Just trying to make it in
Would you believe
A shortcut would be
Trevon´s last wind
Just cause he was
In a neighborhood, where he didn´t fit in
Due to the color of his skin
Life took by an angry man
With hatred plans
Who cared less about
A young man´s life span
Instead of doing what´s right
He took matters with his own hands
Ending a young life – of a young man
– Trevon Martin – By Dewan Evans T.S.D.E.Ink.5
Note to the reader: This poem is not to be judgmental, just my opinion and feelings at this time!
– Lives Matter –
Rainy Days –
No guarantee the sun is going to shine
Stay ready, so you never got to get ready
Clouds is setting
Thunder, hear its melody?
Raindrops like beats
Feather light, when drops hit your feet
Is the world in misery?
Or is it God showing love
Is what I´m thinking as I look above
I love these rainy days
From my window, in a daze
Streets look like a maze
Hundreds of footprints
Splashin through the rain
Got to get through the dark
To get to sunny days
But I love my rainy days
Rainy days!
My Life, My Life –
My life, my life
Has been a journey
Times I was weak
Didn´t know me
Innocent son
Why Pops disown me
Momma gave me up
Like she didn´t know me
Grandma tried to make it all better
But growing as a kid
You turn clever
Confusin hatred
My heart had a fever
Questions to God
Didn´t get answered
So I kept a mean mug
Cold world I´m living in
Grandma tried discipline
Hard headed, I regret it
No excuses
I was wild and clueless
Missed opportunities to do big!
My life, my life.
No Comments
Unknown
February 12, 2019 at 6:55 pmI love reading your words D. Miss chatting. Write me anytime you want. You never need permission to say hi. X
Unknown
February 10, 2019 at 8:00 pmYou write so beautiful i love reading your poetry very inspirational it's so many of them i love the all💕
Unknown
January 18, 2019 at 4:51 amYou write so beautiful i love reading your poetry very inspirational it's so many of them i love the all💕
Unknown
March 30, 2018 at 5:12 pmThis comment has been removed by the author.
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March 30, 2018 at 5:11 pmThis comment has been removed by the author.
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February 15, 2018 at 11:00 pmI really enjoy reading your words. Despite everything, you still have a heart for everyone to see. Karma is your friend and also your worst nightmare. With love hope and understanding from people who know you, Dewan. You can hold your head high and have a natural smile. X
Unknown
September 11, 2017 at 5:56 pmDewan, you are a prolific poet, is your work written in a book, besides e-books?
Do you have a Christian pen pal now? I don't know if you can get the comments, but stay strong in our Lord.