Poetry and Artwork by Marcus Leyva

Future
By Marcus Leyva

I see my future
It’s close enough I could grab it
Knowing it’s mine for the taking
The patience to wait
Hurts more than actual pain
Wanting a better life for myself
So I put pen to paper
Watching the ink absorb into the page
Hope one day my creativity
Will release me from this cage
Not of incarceration but from a canvas of zero
Into a picture of ten
A talent seen as a hidden gem

Clank
By Marcus Leyva

At night,
I watch these prison doors
Slam shut, – clank –

Tasting salty tears,
That burn my eyes, as I
Face the back wall,
Hoping my cellmate doesn’t
Hear my weeping, – clank –

Seeing the past only
In my mind’s eye,
Wishing I would have sooner
Seen the warning signs, – clank –

Visiting childhood friends
That are asleep in the grave,
Wondering if they were still awake,
Would I even be living inside
This cage, – clank –

Close “your” eyes and listen
To the sound of the clock,
To “you” it sounds normal,
The tick on the tock, – clank –

For “me”, all I hear is the
Sound of prison doors slamming
Shut! – CLANK –

You’ll Say the Same Thing
By Marcus Leyva

I see you when I fall asleep
You visit me in my dreams
I wake wishing you were
Next to me in reality

I focus my energy in hoping
You’ll say the same thing

A thousand cuts to the body
It’s your love that will ease
The pain

A perfect memory of your smile
Has me switching lanes

Your lusting over me
Is a vibrating sensation

Me knowing your thinking
Gets me high
Feeling your climax
Without physically touching

Hearing your voice by
Thinking of your name

Moments missed and chances
That have slipped away
Wanting to tell you, “I love you”
In every page

I’ll sit here knowing
You’ll say the same thing

To Them
By Marcus Leyva

You get told when to eat, sleep, and shit –
They want you to have a mindset that your
Dreams are dead –
To them, you’re just a number that’s expected
To stay in the system –
They make sure you have no hope, no goals
With a fucked up education –
To them, all you are is an insect, trapped
in a spider web –
They masterminded your every step –
To day we are imprisoned, to social media,
And all its trends –
The dope tatts and kicks,
Along with the jewelry that has diamonds
In it –
Cars that are labeled Hellcats and Demons –
We make sure we stay away
From churches that people worship in –
The hate you gave us
Trained a breed of nasty 90’s babies to say “Fuck it” –
This poem is not for the soft ones –
It’s for the people who have been around parents
That are addicts and alcoholics –
Physically I’m in prison –
For most of you reading this
To them, your minds are behind the fence –

Starting from Scratch
By Marcus Leyva

When I think about starting over, I feel despair and fear that I’ll never change.
But I also have some hope and it’s the only thing that’s driving me not to give up.

My hope at the other end of this is to have a family of my own.
I want to own a home. I want to be a part of the solution, to be kind.

I’m trying … but I’m struggling.
I need to build a foundation and learn how to be vulnerable,
without being emotionally unavailable.

I’m working on feeling worthy.
I’m working on being a better version of myself.

I haven’t cut off all my negative associates.
I see potential in some of them and I have a desire to help them,
to save them.

I do know though that I’m not in a position to be worrying about them.
I’ve made a great choice by starting from scratch.

There have been instances when I could have made worse choices,
and didn’t because I worked my tools.

Take it from me: Don’t put too much on your plate.
I was so excited to get my journey started that I took on way too much.
I wish I’d set smaller goals and followed them.

Now, all that I have, is time.
I’m not wasting any more time.
I’m only focused on bringing my goals into fruition.