This is my first time in prison, but I’ve been in a while now, and despite Illinois no longer having Death Row, it feels like they found a way to recreate it through their medical system.
In 2008, I began what I would say was a ‘journey’ to get to the bottom of the health issues I had. Each year growing worse, until 2011, when I felt I would likely die and had nothing to lose with filing a grievance.
It’s well-known that they like to retaliate because of grievance filings, so I tried patience to get help but got nowhere. I was diagnosed with a brain tumor – by then suffering at least one known injury, but really I wound up with more due to the severity of it because they ignored me so long.
While dealing with the issues I had, and still unaware of why I was experiencing them, a lot of guys knew I passed. One was misdiagnosed while he went to them about his problem. He was even on his way home, about to get his wrongful conviction overturned with one of the biggest attorneys in Illinois. Instead, he learned he had stage 4 cancer and passed maybe 4 months later. When I heard, I was still shocked, even though he told me himself about cancer before I transferred. Then a guy who was my cellie and believed he had a bad back, one day must’ve went to prison health unit and let them know ibuprofen wasn’t helping anymore because they sent him out to hospital where he was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer through his back, I heard when I was transferred back to the prison I was at with him before.
Then when Governor Ryan pardoned the fellows of Death Row, or commuted them to do time still in max, I knew a brother who came off and was diagnosed after a while with diabetes; he told me personally, and while I was at another max prison, he passed and I learned the diabetes was a misdiagnosis.
Therefore, after all these unbelievable deaths, all I could think is: who knows what I’ll find, or if I’ll find out what’s wrong with me, as long as I’m locked up? What confuses me though, is they hold up refuse to care for us and have let many of us die. I keep hearing they get so much money for having us but why not give us medical care? You can’t get nothing when we’re dead I’m guessing…
Before I went in and had surgery, I heard the lieutenant said, once I got back, I wouldn’t have cellies again. I literally had to sweat them to be housed alone and still they pulled a slick one – I found in records I got claimed that I asked why I was labelled vulnerable and how to stop it; I asked them to acknowledge I was vulnerable now; I went to Menard C.C, another max, left ‘cause my time allowed, so I got transferred unexpectedly and never saw a single cell again.
Any med/max I went to, I had a setback getting them to take my health concern serious, until I wrote a grievance. They tested my problem and found out it existed and got me out to hospital eventually. I didn’t like it there but getting medical care made it manageable. But, as to be expected, that changed when I got sent to N.R.C for medical writs because they stopped taking me from prison, I was in hospital.
I was told my appointments were February 1, 2, 3, and 24, but on the 1st and 2nd they didn’t have me going anywhere, so expecting the same on the 3rd, I was surprised when they called me. Instead of going back on the 24th, it was 27th, where I learned I missed the 1st and 2nd day tests and would need them, so I went back to N.R.C and, in March, got tests done, had a consult and, by April, surgery – but I couldn’t get pain meds worthwhile, no matter how much pain I continued telling them I was in at the Statesville max infirmary.
I eventually returned to a med/max called Hill C.C on June 1st, and was wondering where I could request to transfer to in order to avoid that. Little did I know, it would continue getting worse.
My original request, I heard, Dixon C.C wasn’t great, but I wouldn’t’ have to go to N.R.C anymore, so I tried, but in over 15 years, not asking for a transfer, just going where they sent me, I got denied.
Talking to the counselor, I explained I needed to go where I could get better medical care, and explained it was my first request ever. He said, just cause you stay out of trouble don’t mean nothing to me, I had to wait six months and again tried Dixon C.C, but got rerouted to Danville C.
Seeing my medical issues at a standstill there after a couple years, I put in for Dixon C.C. They denied me, and said I couldn’t put in for it. Then I asked, where can I go? I last had like ten options in Hill C.C, but Danville C.C gave me two: Centralia C.C and Graham C.C, they told me.
Next, I listened and asked those who had been to those two places which had best medical. More said Graham C.C than Centralia C.C, therefore I put in for Graham C.C and here I sit.
I just wish medical was good here. It was bad before the pandemic, and still after. I guess we went from medium security to med/max, and counsellors aren’t trying to give good times to guys here or transfers. Even guys ready to be released give parole addresses and phone numbers, and they just say you were denied by them. Later for this guy to learn they didn’t even call his site.
I see madness here and can only hope I don’t die in this awful prison being that I have medical issues now and old to deal with. It’s a fight to hold on to your sanity and health in these places. Nonetheless, I’m trying to stay positive and hope someone reads this and realizes I never wanna go to jail. Sadly, they even try matching you up in size for cellie, so it could be a fair fight they say; guys warn them and get ignored, until they fight and go to segregation, it’s rough. A poor guy after 19 years had work release coming, but had a bad cellie – he told them, one day got in to it with him, went to segregation, lost his work release. Well, I can keep going, I been round a little longer than him and seen some stuff, but I will end here, so be well.
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