As the years go by, I feel like ‘m fading more and more into the darkness. Every year I lose friends and family, rather they pass or just get on with their life. Life gets so lonely as I fade away into the darkness of my cell, like I’m sinking in the middle of the ocean. Just another statistic; just another young black man who is nothing more than a criminal.
Just like the millions that came before, fading into the ocean. Unaware that the image I present is a façade, put on by a scared child, that you would see if you could see me through the darkness. You would see a man losing his former self, forgetting his ways and mannerisms. Forgetting his old life and who he used to be.
As I fade away into the abyss and become like everyone else in here, nothing more than a number. I get lonelier, as everyone I used to know forgets about me in here. Not knowing they have been my anchors to the outside world, that they have been the only ones keeping me strong and going behind bars. That it’s so easy to give in into the darkness, through all the misery, pain and depression that runs rampant through here.
People on the outside doesn’t really know how much power they have to a person locked up. You are our only light shining through the darkness, giving us direction, so that we know the right path to take. But as you fall away one by one, the light dims to a flicker, until darkness takes over.
We have lost our way in here and fight against giving in and embracing the darkness. Because when you have no one else, your only friend is the darkness, the abyss. It will always be there; it will consume you and spit you back out into a person you no longer recognize. A person that you will grow to hate because you no longer know yourself.
Going through each day with the negative energy turns you bitter. Doing nothing but trying to make the others around you as bitter as you. Hating their happiness because they still have people they can call and talk to. People that still care about them, but given enough time, that same darkness will consume them too. In here, we all fall prey to the same fate of the system.
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