I’ve said before how difficult it is to meet people in prison. Most inmates you don’t want to know. The unit I’m currently on would constantly remind you of “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” with Jack Nicholson. Like some sort of criminally insane asylum. So, you can imagine how hard it is to meet anyone in such an environment.
Joseph, whom I’ve spoken of before, and I have known each other going on six years. We mostly see each other in passing or at the sports TV, where we both gamble. He’s mid 30s, Indian/Mexican descent. He keeps a good diet and stays in shape.
I’ve been trying to figure out a way to be able to confide in him more. So far, he keeps what we talk about to himself. He only comes around when there’s not a lot of people. In our environment, people are always watching your movements. They watch who you talk to, who you pay money to, who you eat with, on and on.
Once I seen a connection between Joseph and I, it was important to me to go around him to talk to him more often. We communicate discreetly because we know all these people are watching our every move. Since we are both into sports, I intend to get some sports magazines on my table so we can have those to look at while we talk. That way people can think we are always talking sports. Or we talk in passing on the runs or at the water cooler. I’ve thought about using pen and paper.
I did make some tacos the other day. Joseph was at work so I put some in a chip bag and walked them to his house and slipped in and left them on his table with a note that said, “I knew you would be hungry”. When he got in from work, he didn’t say anything about using the note. He did thank me for the food and said he would eat them after his workout.
I’m trying to get him to open up and be more comfortable in our communication. Prison is so stale and untrustworthy.
People freeze up at the thought of another person in their space. And rightly so in these places. Mostly people worry about what everyone else is thinking and it steers their walk through these prisons. You can’t hang in that group . . . you can’t be seen around that person . . . It’s like high school all over again but with killers and rapists in the halls.
Joseph came to me last week and said, “We can eat next weekend.” “O.K.”, I told him. So, we got this weekend coming up where we will be around each other at least in the preparation of our food and hopefully we get a chance to have good conversation that is uninterrupted to some extent.
Well . . . that went ok. We had some food, but we didn’t hang out. I’m good with it though. We have to give and take in the prison society. It’s a very dark walk. When you get a chance to encounter someone whom you enjoy their company, you should seize the moment. It’s such a rare event. Don’t let it pass you by. The rest of your day will be filled with unwanted communication with people in passing that you’re just trying to get clear of. The ones that are in the way whenever you see them. Or hear them. Prison will humble you. I don’t care who you are. It’s such a primitive life in a fast-moving world. If you put an infant in the wild, that child will grow up thinking it’s a primate . . . you put a human in a prison environment, that human will become what he or she is around for years on end. Hence the failures of the Texas penal system. But that’s a whole different article to write about.
I bumped into Alex early in the morning. Alex, I’ve spoken of before. He’s from Mexico. He’s in his late 20s or early 30s . . . small frame. Light skinned. He stays mostly to himself. He watches his diet and stays in shape. We were both still half asleep trying to start our day. He shared some thoughts and ideas that were insightful . . . and he left to go to his job. Later that day I made it a point to go around him and let him know I thought his thoughts and ideas were good. I didn’t want the day to go by without letting him know because I wanted to convey the right message to him that I enjoyed our interaction that morning. I feel like he got the message I was trying to tell him. I’ll know the next time an opportunity presents itself when we encounter each other.
As we walk through these prisons, we have to be aware of who and what we allow in our space. We have to stay positive in a very negative existence. We must keep our minds sharp and look for those few people who will make this walk just a little more bearable. Those people do exist. You have to stay open-minded but extremely cautious due to all the negative influences in the environment. When you do see a connection with the right someone, you have to proceed ever so slowly until you’re confident in that person keeping your thoughts and ideas to himself or herself. Trust in your instincts. Your gut will never steer you wrong. Once you have built a network of these people around you, your time in this walk will go ever so smoothly. You will find your days will become tolerable. To the extent that you won’t mind so much to open your eyes and face another day of this prison walk.
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