Know Your Worth
By Vernon Nelson
Know your worth
I know my worth so the blueprint
I’m putting into motion is executed
At the highest level
I’m creating a new table
For me to sit at the head at
But it’s not just about me
I wanna see others do what they love
And elevate too. There’s a satisfaction that
I get when I expand the consciousness
Of somebody else.
Liberate Yourself
By Vernon Nelson
Liberate yourself mentally
So that the bars around the walls
Of your mind fall away.
Love is a magical thing
By Vernon Nelson
Love is a magical thing
I think when two soulmates find each other
They light each other’s flame
And all of the money in the world can’t buy that feeling.
God’s Mercy
By Vernon Nelson
Verse 1
Come here and let me kiss you
Promise I’ll never dis you/
Thinkin how you’ve kept it – (hella real)
Girl, I really miss you
Sometimes I get to trippen
Life in this “Prison System”
This shit can really stress you out
And have your metal flippen/
Stay writin – gettin at you
I read those books you sent me
Appreciate you stayin down
For a brother feel me/
Despite these tribulations
Our relationship is (out of this world)
And I respect all your submission to me/
You’re such a moral woman –
And your love is such a blessin from Heaven
You’re the epitome of God’s mercy/
In the mist of my reputation
You had infatuation
We overcame all of those racist-jealous people hatin
Slip into a trance
Seein visions of me
And my baby spendin time
Soon as I get free/
We can start of where we left
Or better yet, start fresh/
Lay your head up on my chest
Close your eyes and rest/
Girl, you done fully represented me
Never played or offended me plus –
Plus, not to mention
You’ve been such a good friend to me/
Promise to never cheat
I’ll promise to never creep/
Well kiss in the moonlight
Make love out on the beach/ (ugh)
Hook
Layin on my back
I caress your backside/
You’re a blessing from Heaven
I can see if in your eyes baby girl – don’t cry/
So loyal – royal worth
And humbly you serve me/
You’re Heaven sent
You’re the epitome of God’s mercy/
Verse II
Every day I’m reminiscing
Trynna fight these feelings/
Layin on my back – starin straight at the ceiling –
Wishin, I could be home in your presence tongue kissin
Imma still put my foot down
But girl, I swear – I’ll listen/
See I gotta show you love
From a man’s standpoint/
I know it’s hard to understand
See haters plottin – they jealous
I’m suaved out every time they see me/
Paranoid cuz deep inside their hearts
I know they wanna be me/
Still I roll and I ride homie
Though bare witness they’re phony/
It’s sick and twisted
But baby you understand and listen/
“I’m sorry if I ever hurt your heart”
You my lady and baby can’t nothin pull us apart/
Hold me down till the wheels
Tell a brother how you feel
Be my Egyptian and true black queen and keep it real/
Stay humble and never jerk me
Promise to never hurt me (ugh)
Remain pure the epitome of God’s mercy/
Hook
Verse III
Witnessing separation
These people got us facing
It’s hard boo – but you know that I believe in you/
And since you feel the same
There’s no reason for us to deviate and change/
You see, you make me feel like a king
And when I rest
I continue to feel you presence in my dreams/ (it’s all love)
Your tenderness and your compassion
Your beautiful smile
The way you walk
Your hair and fashion is first class/
So deeply I’m committed
So let me (kick it)/
I promise I’ll never change
Walk away or ever leave you lonely/
Love your sophistication
My breath your steady taken/
To hold you tight and kiss you soft
Gitl, I’m anticipatin/
On the beach – under the moonlight/
Repeat Hook
True Story
By Vernon Nelson
I apologize for my ignorance
When I was young
I never thought that I`d ever ask forgiveness
I never took the time to think
Before I made a move
Just lit a blunt into the wind
Breaking laws and rules
Age 22
I just arrived in prison
I`m fighting brothers everyday
To try and get position
Cause prison life is cruel
And brothers die in here
You stand tall
Head high
Or you can die in here
Age 34, and still, I`m here in prison
I`ve never seen so many brothers
Stuck in this condition
Where broken spirit’s dwell
And shadows roam the cells
From all of those that passed on
So many moons ago
Age thirty damn near did a dime (Ten years)
Thinkin how my twenties gone
In my rear mirror
Thirty-one and thirty-two nightmare goes on
I`m losing focus
Feelin hopeless as the world turns
Cause still I`m left behind
Suspended, stuck and still
Only my mind transcends
The concrete and steel
Thirty-three and thirty-four
Thirty-five and thirty-six
I done changed for real
And still, nobody cares
Reminiscent off pics
And all the past times
Forgive me for my mistakes
And take away their hate
I`m droppin jewels on troubled youth
I only speak the truth
Thirty-seven, thirty-eight
It`s been a long road
I´m stayin strong
Pressin forward trying not to fold
Sometimes I sit and talk to God alone
Heavenly father pop the gates
And lemme travel home
From thirty-nine to forty-one
I tried to hold my head
Denied parole at forty-two
I sit and shake my head
The justice systems twisted
People of color live it
Still, being punished for the things I did
When I was a kid
But still, I`m standin tall
The heart of a lion
My consciousness is levitation
Imma living giant
Soul in a Cell
By Vernon Nelson
There’s no way that I could write
A piece like this without first expressing
My deepest gratitude for the people
Vehicle and the platform that has allowed
Your eyes to sweep across my words
And glance into my life
Behind the prison wall.
Trying to tell a very personal story
While you`re still in the throes
Of the oppressive active struggle
Behind lock and key requires
A certain kind of vulnerability. But I now
It is important to take you into the prison,
In my cell and cracked the door open a little,
Illuminating you with sparks of energy
That travel through the mind
To form this imagery.
It is my belief that there is nothing
That can truly prepare you for prison
Everything you`ve heard about this dark
Place, for it is that and so much more.
But looking back,
After serving 21 years in prison
I`ve learned the most important battle
One will engage in is the battle of the mind
Because it will relentlessly be tested
You will learn a lot about yourself
Being (alone) with your own thoughts
In an environment of men amongst men
You will learn about your fears,
Your strength and what your truly made of
Beyond the ego. Having your human dignity
Stripped away and being reduced to nothingness
Reveals you to yourself for your loved ones
And people on the outside life goes on
And the world still turns.
But when that cell door closes behind you
Locking you in is when everything buried
Deep inside you will slowly be flushed out
Every emotion of anger, loneliness,
Helplessness and hopelessness will eventually
Sh0w itself, and you will be forced
To reconcile these things within yourself.
Or not. I always liken and compare prison
To the jungle, because of harsh elements.
You see, the jungle has a way of
Bringing out your “primal instincts”
When you are continuously suspended in a state
Of survival mode mentality
And in truth.
The outside world (itself) is a lot like
A jungle, through the average common person
Doesn`t see it that way
Due to the governments influence on society.
Yet everyday the govt. and rule of law
Exploits people everyday
Mostly, the poor and people of color.
Now the governments trying to tell women
what the can and can`t do with their body
Oppression and force are not always
Physical. In fact, the great thinkers
And politicians who are sly enough
Prefer to use force
But rather their intellectual power
To re-shape the law into legal modern slavery
And taking we the peoples rights away from us.
Is this not animalistic?!
I didn’t learn “dimensional thinking”
Until I was (alone) with my own thoughts
In a cell. Prison has been a double edge sword
For me because on one hand
M twenties, thirties and now, early forties
Have been surrendered to prison
On the other, prison has unlocked a liberating truth for me that has activated and opened my third eye.
It was 2005.
I had already been in prison for three years.
In that short time, I had already
seen a man killed and more violence than I care
To remember. It felt like I had been locked up
A thousand years. Little did I know I
still had many years of prison life ahead of me.
When I reflected, I realized that
a lot of my life before prison had
been spent in my youthful bull stage.
I mean, on one hand
I had already literally travelled around the world
Experiencing many countries and cultures
On the other, I had often ignored
My higher consciousness
That continued to pull on my spirit.
So, it was there, in prison
Within the walls of my cell
Where I begin to mine
Within me as, if I were searching for gold.
I set out on a journey to become
My own more perfect creation.
And it was not easy. I had to go slow
To re-wire my mindset and this,
I know for certain unlock my higher consciousness
I spent many nights in my cell
Using the dim light that poured in
From outside my window
Illuminating the words in books I held.
I would read to elevate my thoughts
And these books of philosophy and psychology
Would transport me to a
Different time and place.
I had always been a deep thinker
But I found that reading the work
Of (more) enlightened deep thinkers
Made me feel better understood.
I began to understand the spark and light
Within me and how to channel that energy
In a positive way. And so, I begin to see
Myself in pastels, and in rich colors.
Purples, yellows, and gold
Because I know the king and enlightened
Being that I am
And the unlimited potential we all have
Within us should we choose to access it.
Many times, I stood on the threshold
Between this life and the next
In the spirit realm, and in dreams,
Glancing at the mysteries
That lie beyond that doorway,
And from within my prison cell.
I`ve also gazed into different perspectives
of mankind in prison,
both by prisoners and prison staff.
And all these things have given me
A new appreciation for life
And the things that I once took
For granted. I see things
Through a different lens that I had before.
I remember taking to one of the guards
At the prison, several years ago.
He couldn`t have been more than
Twenty-six or twenty-seven at the time
He was telling me about his girlfriend
In the free world. He went on about
How his girlfriend would run
The air conditioner in their apartment
All day long, and how it drove him nuts
Because of the power bill he had to pay.
At some point he realized
How small his ordeal must have
Seen in my eyes. Probably when
I told him, I had already been incarcerated
For fifteen years at the time.
I could tell from the way
His facial expression changed
Right before my eyes.
It was stunning realization.
It hit me, in that moment
That I had not felt the touch of a woman
For many years to hear him
Casually take for granted
A crucial part of his freedom
In him, having the companion of a woman
In the first place, left an impression on me.
I envied him, because once, I was him.
Someone who had their freedom
But didn’t know what I had until it was gone.
To me, his problem with his girlfriend
Wasn`t a real problem
What he had was an issue
That could have been reconciled
With communication and understanding
He was comfortable and complacent
About his freedom,
Not knowing how the very thing that he was complaining about
Could be taken from him in an instant,
And how silly what he believed
Was a real-life problem would seem
To even himself.
He has never been afflicted, dehumanized,
Deprived, locked away, forgotten.
He has never been spiritually
Brought to his knees
To see God`s mercy – Woman,
Standing in the horizon glowing as if
It was a mirage.
He has never sharpened his mind
And cut into his woman’s soul
Exploring the planes of its dimension.
He would never make himself
A greater emotional presence in her life
Or know that she would need that.
He didn`t know how to uplift his woman.
He didn`t know how to make love to her mind,
And romance her before he ever touched her.
He has never been to
The place I`ve been to
Or, experienced how I got here.
He has never transformed his
Imagination or consciousness
From within the walls of a prison cell.
He has never allowed his mind
To walk through these walls
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