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De'jon Yearling (KS) / Kansas / Poetry

Poetry by De’jon Yearling

The Angry Wife
By Dejon Yearling

Jaime has three children and a busy husband. Her husband works as the CEO of a Fortune 500 company and brings home so much that this family lives in a mansion with maids, a pool, and the full nine. Dexter, the husband, typically comes home late around 8pm, so he misses dinner with the kids at 6:30pm. Jaime has stressed that she wants to spend more time with Dexter and they have enough money to take a full year of vacation. Sadness, loneliness, and anger follow as nothing changes. Jaime waits on the couch for Dexter while drinking Grey Goose and often argues as soon as the door opens. Dexter has labeled her the angry wife and often says at work she should be more grateful. His colleagues agree which makes him think that she is the problem. Who is the problem here?

Am I Overreacting?
By Dejon Yearling

I’m a nice guy. I don’t bother anyone, and I’m very helpful. Everyone knows me to be this nice guy that I’m motivated and I made it my life’s purpose to not allow a hard time to keep me down. I use hard times and uncomfortable situation to build me and I always find the greener side of the grass… But today, I had a moment. I got out of character. I cursed that boy out and I was ready to paint the floor with his face. Is my anger wrong? Should people get away with their constant nagging without repercussions? You know what…I think it was meant to be. That boy deserved to be put in his place. I’m not overreacting. I’m just moving into my rightful place in my destiny. I’m more human than I think.

Small Disagreement on Dispute
By Dejon Yearling

I love you. I want you to know that but that doesn’t mean we will always agree. Yesterday…it was rough and it almost seemed like we weren’t going to talk anymore. You’ve got to understand that I will always take a Whopper over a Big Mac. The Whopper is just delightful in taste and doesn’t need a special sauce to taste good. So…are we still good? Can you forgive me for my passion? I forgive you for walking away and not talking to me. Don’t let this end in us being done. We were made for each other…let me back when you’re ready…love you boo thang.

I Never Loved You
By Dejon Yearling

What seemed like true love ended over a text. A text that can only be possible with technology. What if we didn’t have phones? Would it still be so easy for you to leave me alone? Would it be so hard for you to still come home? I think I love you still, but I’m so mad that when it was over I said I never loved you. How could I love someone so heartless? Someone so mean, someone that has hurt me so many times that when she tries to change, her bad is stuck on my brain. I never loved you…it hurts more to try to believe it then say it. It hurts every day, but I’m starting to believe it more. I want to say sorry but…I guess I’m not…not anymore.

Heavy Duty Jacket
By Dejon Yearling

You can catch me walking down the stairs, strolling to my dining room smelling like a brand-new log cabin. I hold my shades in my shirt while I grab a beer. I walk past a moron that steals my hanging smile that seems to brighten up the place. I have business to attend to tonight, a meeting I cannot miss. I’m still at war, but I long for peace, heaven’s kiss. My jacket, gifted to me by my superiors, screams family, even though work takes me away from mine often. This is the life I choose and to wear the jacket is a privilege. One I love, but hate with a passion. My life’s like golden apple. So good, so wild, but finished too soon. I watch…my heart slowly drives away to the moon.

The Playing Piano
By Dejon Yearling

One time I was invited to a friend’s house because I did exceptional at a sport. We both wrestled in high school. He was a senior and I was a junior. I’m from the gutter and the most I had in my younger days was a very loving and talented mom. Boy she could do anything…but play sports. She took me to my friend’s house and the trip was spectacular. I saw a gigantic golf course and it made me think of my dad. He loves golf. The sign on their community said, “Masters Road”. Every house had to be four times bigger than my old townhouse. I never knew Virginia had a neighborhood so nice. We parked in a driveway that was at least 2 driveways compared to my house. I was greeted at the door by his parents and they wore super casual attire that spelled rich. My ears were scratched with a beautiful sound. It was a piano in the room to the left, but no one was playing it. Then I knew…this was a life I’ve never experience before.

Slightly Tired
By Dejon Yearling

I had to wake up early today because of my new job. Although it pays well, the schedule doesn’t agree with my sleep. Well, the real issue is I don’t know how to go to sleep early. With years of partying, I programmed myself to stay awake until 12:00am. But I wake up at 4:00am and like Melanie Fiona and I’m sick of loving and not getting love back. Alcohol, vapes, and sometimes sex are what I put on a pedestal for the early years of my life. I’m not in need of a wife but I need to get right and go to sleep earlier so I won’t have to fight the urge to stay awake when I’m getting paid 45 dollars an hour. Maybe now you might understand why I’m slightly tired.

Swatting Flies
By Dejon Yearling

The family cookout is one of my favorite times of the year, where for every hot holiday with a couple cold ones. We get together and throw down. The burgers, the steaks, the hot dogs, are great! We grill everything we can and the smoke just gives me chills. It just smells so good. The family dances to the hottest music, but when the older crowd comes, the old R&B comes on. It’s sweet love and so good, the music. It puts a smile on everybody’s face. And then I bite into the burger, mmm, the taste. Then we sit down with a full plate of food and swat the flies for flying around being rude. But it’s cool, we’re at the cookout.

Bad Business
By Dejon Yearling

He jumped into entrepreneurship hopeful and expecting to blow up overnight. Reality hit…it’s hard to be successful without a plan and when you get one you’ve got to work it. Lee, this guy had the drive, but didn’t have the mind. Every business isn’t meant to be a one-man show and you know people need people. Businesses need customers and a target market is important. Your mom, dad, and cousin won’t be enough unless your product is like a million dollars. It’s just bad business to come around and not be ready for the heat. Because…the heat is coming and no one can stop it.

On the Job
By Dejon Yearling

I work hard when nobody’s looking, but every time I get on my phone, my boss magically pops up. Apparently, I can’t be enjoying leisure things on the job. I’m the best worker in the company, but can’t get on my phone when I have no work to do. It’s company policy. The company way is my life, since I make this company who it is. At least, most boss could say “Well, John, you are the exception.” I guess it doesn’t matter what you do for people, they still find a way to bring you down. Here I am complaining but getting back to work.

A Tore Up Mess
By Dejon Yearling

My hair looks bad, my lips are chapped, my clothes are wrinkled, I’m just looking a hot mess. I’m usually best dressed, smelling like a fresh rose, covered in gold dust. My dog died…Pearl. She was my everything. She was so loyal to me. Her kisses of affection brought the thought of daisies to my mind. When I was with her, my mind was filled with colors of red, blue, yellow, and green. I was never mean, and I didn’t have to beat her. She was obedient so life was just bliss. Now she’s gone… And as I try to bury her…I listen to this song…Forever Gone.

Time to Cry
By Dejon Yearling

Do I have time? A question I ask myself every day as I get older. Knowing that tomorrow is not promised, I’m grateful for every breath. I’m grateful that through the losses I still have something left. Wealth, success, and victory I have chased all my life. It meant nothing towards my final days and I know my demise is soon. Do I have time to cry? Surely I have time to die, but why? Is it my lies? My sin? But even then I know I have been forgiven. A tear drops from my face as I think about some of the life I have wasted. Even in this short amount of time, I still don’t understand why. I have time to cry…and even time to die…

Loves Larger
By Dejon Yearling

Minced like a garlic clove the knife is sharp. But love cuts deeper to penetrate the heart. Love loves larger, it does more when apart. But hate feels cheaper, a discounted cart. Roads build faster, the people are close. Death brings tears from loved ones the most. If it’s too deep and not making sense. Cents make dollars and trust does the rest. Love loves larger, so just be blessed.

The Change Itself
By Dejon Yearling

You by yourself, you’re good, but if you change… Lee, there’s nothing wrong with getting better, and everybody’s got their own weather to deal with. But the change that can happen though. The change itself is enough. Good people don’t settle, they improve, so by becoming better, what do you have to lose. Help, help is so real and you can go to a million seminars and still not feel. People get poured into every day and still don’t fill. They just don’t get it yet. It is the blessing of change and realizing that a person has to become it, not just do it. So what’s really important here? The change itself. That’s what you need.

Racism in the Military
By Dejon Yearling

Some people don’t get a job because the color of their skin.
Why in America, when this statement is made.
People always point their eyes to the blacks.”
If it wasn’t an issue, it wouldn’t be brought up.
These issues can’t even be a false allegation because it is history.
The military has always been an important thing in United States History.
Why are there not majority blacks in high power positions?
Why are there just ones and twos?
Why should there be a first black general of any branch?
We should have the 10 or 20* already.
Where is the equal opportunity for the Hispanics or Latin culture in the military?
Where are their 10th and 20th generals and sergeant majors from the Latinos?
If the opportunities where there we would have them.
If the people in the seat at the moment didn’t make sure specific people wouldn’t gain power.
Maybe the military could be an equal opportunity employer for real.
Racism has hurt America so bad that it has bleed into the generations.
Racism in the military is in plain sight, but people hide it so well.
It goes on all sides of color, but in the military, it should be one color.
Green.
A black man shouldn’t have to worry about making E-8 because his superior is white.
A white man shouldn’t be hated on because his sergeant is Latino.
And a Latino shouldn’t have to fight the fact that a black man doesn’t like him.
The only way to stop discrimination ni the ranks is to recognize it.
To make history we shouldn’t weaponized it.
Peace comes from the heart.
The only way we can change something is by sharing this peace with our brother.
The truth about what’s going on.
Right there is the place…
We have to start.

The Blues
By Dejon Yearling

I love to sing.
My vocals express my feelings.
It brings me healing.
I slice butter with my voice,
And my words are always sweet.
This is my choice.
I have rhythm and in my mind there are blues,
So when I hear a beat.
I wear it like shoes.
Al day long a song plays in my head,
And sometimes so much.
I can’t go to bed.
The blues are my pain.
The blues are a sign!
To show everybody.
I read through the blinds. I can’t go a day.
Without singing loud.
The blues are my life.
My only way out.

Emotional Attraction
By Dejon Yearling

Her lips changed my mind.
I started to feel butterflies all over my body.
I never felt this way before.
Our eye contact after didn’t feel weird either.
You know how eye contact can become too much sometimes?
Something just felt right about this.
Her smile is what I started to crave every day.
Her presence is what I desired to stay.
She started to run marathons in my mind,
And I’ve been fixated on her beauty for quite s o m e time.
She has my mind and ti gets me emotional,
But right now things are just fine because her touch is promotional.
She’s a walking billboard that says love me.
And I think.
I might just do that.

Military Sharp Program
By Dejon Yearling

After
A program meant to inform.
the Obama administration came to power.
The program began to warn.
But no one took it seriously…
Except the victims.
But fi the accused is innocent.
The victims make victims.
Military Sharp Program
Who is there to save the accused if the allegation is false?
The reality is.
It’s too late for the ones that experience the consequences of someone else’s lies.
And I can search on Google all day but I will never find.
Eternal justice for the ones pushed and confined.
I can’t blame the president because things need to be noticed in all branches.
We need to open up our eyes to people hurting they need all chances.
A young man, black, white, or green shouldn’t be afraid to fight for his country.
They shouldn’t be lied to and they should be informed prior.
That sometimes their recruiters to meet a quota become liars.
No one should be in fear of being accused of sexual assault,
But because someone says Me Too all people come to a halt.
To feel sorry for someone we don’t even know.
We don’t even know if they are truthful,
But from their eyes… The tears start to grow.
It’s not fair a soldier has to be up against a 98% conviction rate.
And don’t let him be 19-years-old convicted of rape.
There are real victims out there and sexual assault should not be taken lightly.
I got family hurt with sexual assault and for them I am still fighting.
But everyman in a uniform shouldn’t be guilty and thrown into jail.
And they didn’t know when they signed their contract that they were expected to fail.
They aren’t the wisest, but they aren’t all guilty.
Want to know the truth?
Ask a veteran today to tell you their story.
Ask them today,
And just wait…
To see.
What they have to say…
Because they can’t be great if the system is filled with mistakes.
So, let’s start to fix them today.
Save Him Too.

What You Don’t See
By Dejon Yearling

When I wake up I see my sink attached to my toilet.
Sometimes my water stinks and I need to brush my teeth.
Darn prison… Way to spoil it.
I put on a uniform that make me look like everyone else.
I see my enemies every day and it’s bad for my mental health.
I pray to God and read my bible.
Then I get laughed at and persecuted for believing in higher.
I get paid pennies on a dollar for a $30 plus job on the outside,
And if I miss a month of working they’d call me a snob on the inside.
The cell I’m stuck in can’t be opened without a button,
And I don’t have the control.
I really don’t have nothing.
I experience these things and then I call you
Telling you I’m ok,
But if I say I’m not will you fall through.
You can’t call too,
So if I really needed you like you needed me.
You wouldn’t want to call too,
And that’s why I’m all blue.
I don’t want to call you.

Breath Away
By Dejon Yearling

From dust I came,
Then came my name.
You breathed life into me and like a parent.
You knew exactly every little thing about me.
You can surely do without me,
But you still choose to stay around me.
You constantly watch me as I climb and fall
You remember every second of when I was small,
And you rejoiced every year I grew tall.
You’re more than a father and I’m grateful for you,
But mostly because you’re never too far from my reach.
You’re always a step away,
And I understand in any moment that you can…
Take my breath away.

Changes Reflect
By Dejon Yearling

I remember my struggles,
The negative rebuttals,
The constant troubles, Closed in like a huddle.
I wasn’t always Mr. Get Right,
I used to get in fights and constant disputes.
I wasn’t a hot head but I didn’t like to stay mute.
So I used my boots…
I don’t want to kick someone’s head off with my rage,
And clearly I was going through a phase,
Because life’s a confusing maze.
I finally find a place I’m comfortable at.
Sometimes not the front but the back,
To become a leader that claps, But not always back.

Think about the Foundation
By Dejon Yearling

We can’t build a house without a foundation,
And we can’t start a relationship with frustration,
So I’ve been praying and laying a strong foundation.
Each stone matters especially the cornerstone:
The things that hold up a man are simply the bones.
Before we begin today, I want you guys to know
How important it is to have patience with the process.
That waiting for good to finally come is worth it.
Don’t be mistaken by your hard work and rough days.
You will not be forsaken because good comes to those who weigh.
Every thought in their mind for the negative.
We kick it out all of it even its relatives
So we can understand why building this foundation is working.
Because for certain we are uncomfortable,
But we only grow when we’re hurting.

A Lonely Moment
By De’jon Yearling

He worked so hard to make it to this moment.
Precious like anew born baby he holds it.
His blood, sweat, and tears all over the ground.
Waiting two months persistently to hear the sound.
Here are this year’s graduates!
They fought hard and they passed the test.
They are the best because everyone doesn’t make it.
The disciplined instilled in their hearts they can’t fake it.
Their serious faces are a representation of a strong Army soldier,
That is willing to die for you.
Family members go now,
And put an U.S. Army patch on your family’s newest soldier…
Silence… people rush to their families…
As many people walk past this special soldier,
No one tended to come closer…
Holding tears, the soldier is left alone with a few others.
He is given his last command from his drill sergeant.
Go find your family.
But what this drill sergeant didn’t know was.
This soldier never had one.

No Doubt in My Mind
By De’jon Yearling

This is it. We finally made it.
We’ve been digging for hours,
And I’m sure we got ti this time.
There’s no other place it can be,
But right here,
Because for sure where else can it be?
No don’t look away.
I’m sure it’s here.
The channel will finally change for us.
We won’t have to endure another bust.
Endless wasted time on the same channel.
I’m sick of watching the same commercials.
Old episodes of Erkel aren’t funny forever.
The remote has to be in this couch…
Hey it’s over here in this pouch!
Ok! I’m drained. let’s go out.

Helping a Friend
By De’jon Yearling

Keep your head up,
I see you looking down.
It looks like you’re in a different place,
A different town.
Here’s the case.
I won’t allow your talents to go to waste.
And your potential is really simple.
You can achieve your wildest dreams,
And even though it may seem,
Like life is hard.
I want you to know struggle can be a wonderful thing.
It hits everybody,
But everybody doesn’t hit it back.
Your reaction intact should be to black,
Out all of the negativity,
And how you use your mind,
Is the remedy it’s the frenemy,
So resilience is the friend in me.
If you ever get stuck again,
Look for me your buddy your friend,
So I can pick you up again,
And then I can help you win,
Because I love helping my friend.

What You Don’t See
By De’jon Yearling

When I wake up I see my sink attached to my toilet
Sometimes my water stinks and I need to brush my teeth.
Darn prison… Way to spoil it.
I put on a uniform that make me look like everyone else.
I see my enemies every day and it’s bad for my mental health.
I pray to God and read my bible.
Then I get laughed at and persecuted for believing in higher.
I get paid pennies on a dollar for a $30 plus job on the outside.
And if I miss a month of working they’d call me a snob on the inside.
The cell I’m stuck in can’t be opened without a button,
And I don’t have the control. I really don’t have nothing.
I experience these things and then I call you
Telling you I’m ok,
But if I say I’m not will you fall through. You can’t call too,
So if I really needed you like you needed me!
You wouldn’t want to call too,
And that’s why I’m all blue.
I don’t want to call you.

The Bad Kid
By De’jon Yearling
Problems, issues, in dire need of a tissue.
Pain’s reaction is linked to my actions.
My current feel, I don’t think I’ll ever be good,
And still, what’s real to me is I’m misunderstood.
I try to be good but I could never understand,
Fitting in, Out of the box, it’s where I live; it’s where I’ve been.
Trouble is an everyday thing,
So I already know what tomorrow brings.
I’m tired of trying to be like everyone else,
And I’ll deny the fact that I need help,
But even the help needs help,
So myself a bad hand I’ve been dealt.
Why should I trust someone who hasn’t walked a mile in my shoes?
I’m in constant pain… and you have no clue.

The Building Sway
by De’jon Yearling
Drinking coffee in the break room, it’s just a regular day.
Wishing I could go home and leave this tomb of a job.
I’ve been robbed of my happiness.
My boss is consistently tripping when he makes the most money.
Why is he mad all the time? Just look outside… It’s sunny.
We also got the typical work bullies grilling me for my high waters.
I did this on purpose because I have the toughest socks in the office.
I hear the one sick guy coughing; I hope it’s not COVID…
I’m frozen as I think about getting back to work.
I’m contemplating the rest of my day.
Just hoping this moment of peace would stay then…
I felt a hard shake like the Earth moved.
Things fell on the ground and I almost fell too.
Hopefully everyone’s OK except for my boss,
He needs a bad day. He deserves a loss.

Different places
By De’jon Yearling
In my mind I think I lost you,
But in your mind you probably think we’re good.
I can’t tell what you’re thinking but I wish I could.
I’m stuck on my persona like I’m from the hood.
I should just talk to you…
But then again in this situation this is the last thing I want to do.
I believe you weren’t there for me when I needed you,
And I don’t know what you think about that but… the support…
You need it too.
Maybe I wasn’t there for you when you needed me,
Or maybe for my situation you couldn’t see.
How to be prepared for something like this.
So many thoughts and things just have me pissed,
Because I don’t know what to run with,
And I don’t know what to believe in,
But I know when the sun hits,
It provides everything I need but I’m still grieving.
God thought of me when he created you,
But you’re God’s creation, too,
But just maybe you didn’t want to be,
And maybe… that’s because of me.

I Want to See You
By De’jon Yearling
You thought about me before anyone else could.
One chance to take for you, you know I would.
You seem to know what I think before I think it.
And you surely know when I’m passed the cup…
I’ll drink it, and I think it’s, amazing what you know.
You are love, so out of it you flow,
But I’m sure no one knows what to expect from you.
You’re not a magician but you can be mysterious,
Making Mysterio curious,
Why suffering makes me delirious,
But blessings come so furious,
And ferocious that it makes me cough.
I don’t have halitosis,
But I’m so sick I’m shocked…
I’m hoping that I can find you after I knock,
Because I want to see you,
I want to talk.

I’m Good Bro
By De’jon Yearling

When I’m doing bad, this is the last thing I want to hear,
When I’m really mad, people see the rage not the fear,
If I wear a mask, I wear a smile, I’m shifting gears.
Treat me like a machine and not a man how can I expect to feel,
Focused on my smile and my laugh but do you think it’s real?
I’m off appeal lost a fight but I’m punching still,
Depression kills but anxiety my current feel,
If I keep it real I’m not good feeling all this pain,
This isn’t a game but I play it dancing in the rain.
Promised the win and the victory, but was it meant for me?
Or is it history? I’m believing it’s a mystery, because physically,
A blessing would be a fix for me and I’m broken so what is this to me?
Deep down inside I’m not ok, but I’ll tell you I’m good anyway,
And you tell me someone that won’t lie to you anyplace,
Because fi you heard something else, would you be prepared for ti any day?
I thought so, so I’m good every day.

You Good Bro?

When I’m doing bad, this is the last thing I want to hear,
When I’m really mad, people see the rage not the fear,
If I wear a mask, I wear a smile, I’m shifting gears…
Treat me like a machine and not a man how can I expect to feel,
Focused on my smile and my laugh but do think it’s real?
I’m off appeal lost a fight but I’m punching still.
Depression kills but anxiety my current feel,
If I keep it real I’m not good feeling all this pain,
This isn’t a game but I play it dancing in the rain.
Promised the win and the victory, but was it meant for me?
Or is it history? I’m believing it’s a mystery, because physically,
A blessing would be a fix for me, and I’m broken so what is this to me?
Deep down inside I’m not ok, but I’ll tell you I’m good anyway,
And you tell me someone that won’t lie to you anyplace,
Because fi you heard something else, would you be prepared for it any day? I thought so, so I’m good every day.

It’s Hard to be a Good Man
By De’jon Yearling

I try to forgive… some days are just hard to live,
But I give, my attention to the many,
In return compassion, I may not get any,
Consideration I give plenty, I wish I was treated like Fendi,
How can a shirt be given more value than a man,
And fi I was a dog I would surely have fans, But who caters to the good man…
The good men, it seems like we hardly ever win, I wish this anxiety can end, fin.
Like a movie my struggle is a gem,
That constantly plays without a pause, and consistently I take a loss,
For showing kindness, can it be bought?
If I were to be bad I would fit in,
But my mom taught me home training, avoiding sin,
But now sin seems to creep up on my mind,
And because I’m down I get behind…
Can I just be accepted?
Because doing all this good is starting.
To become hectic.
It’s hard to be a good man

Broken Rhythm
By De’jon Yearling

Life moves fast
Until you go to prison
I guess that’s how you get…a broken rhythm
I was making money
I even had me some hoes
I always kept receipts
To take back my clothes.
Brand new, with some shoes
It was good until it wasn’t…my morning blues.
Life can I come back to you
Locked in my cell
Thank God, I’m not in hell.
Freedom…I think about you all the time
The judge said no
A broken rhythm

Worthy Tears
By De’jon Yearling

I have not given up.
As time goes by
It seems other haven’t too.
Letter by letter
Book by book
Sending money to my account,
I shed a tear.
I thought I was forgotten.
I read the letters
I love the books
It’s money well spent.
I expect more and I’m given less
I can’t say I’m not blessed
People give me their best.
I struggle with being grateful
I struggle with patience
I struggle with love.
I’m stuck in a hard place
But I keep saying I’m tough.
I fight my tears
When I should let them flow.
Are they worthy?
I guess we will never know.
Being tough does not mean holding things in.
True strength is knowledge and letting things flow
Be strong and let your tears go
I’m closed in with so much fear
I lied to myself, my worthy tears.

Mixed Emotions
By De’jon Yearling

I was an army soldier, not because I wanted to be or because it was so cool, but because I wanted freedom and from my momma house to be specific. My mom wasn’t mean or anything, but when I got older, I was always told it was going to be time for me to go. When I actually left, I got a different reaction. The people that want you to leave, actually don’t want you to leave. How am I supposed to feel about this? I had Mixed Emotions. I joined the army and became a better worker and leader. The army in the beginning was challenging, but worth all the sweat. Things got crazy when I got Hawaii as my first duty station. With my 3-year contract, in a place I have never been, at the age of 18, I would say I thought I was ready to be grown. It’s funny when we are younger, we want to be grown, and experience all the older people things until they hit you in the face. What’s even more ridiculous and I hope I’m not the only one, I never got taught how to be an adult and not even a responsible one either. I had to learn from mistakes, and sometimes these mistakes hold a lot of weight and can become a burden because they were never addressed. The army had its crazy moments, but the best moments were being able to go out with my friends, meet women, and have a good time. As fun as this sounds, this isn’t the blueprint for making my momma proud. This was a recipe for disaster and I wouldn’t truly find out until I got put under investigation for something I didn’t do.
This brings me to my story, and one I’m still going through. Everything is good until something happens to you. People down play and call out others until they’ve been hit with the stick. I never had this mindset, but when I started my investigation, I was shocked. It never truly worried me until I got found guilty and came to prison. During my times of investigation, I didn’t slow down, but I sped up. I worked 2 to 3 jobs and kept myself busy. I even did Amway and gained some optimism. Life still went on, but in the back of my head, I had my investigation. How was I supposed to feel? I had Mixed Emotions. In the civilian world, my case would’ve dropped, because of lack of evidence, but the military always takes things to the extreme and rather throw away a few to save the majority. It makes sense until it’s someone innocent. I trusted the military and in the court room at age 21, they gave me 7 and a half years. How was I supposed to feel? I had Mixed Emotions. After I got found guilty in a court room filled with army soldiers, during the Fort Hood problems with Vanessa, my next chapter in life began.

Prison is crazy and I wish it on nobody. The only thing I can say is I was blessed with time to figure out my future plans. In the beginning, I just read and worked out because that made sense. Eventually, being motivated by a couple of rappers that got out of prison, I got in shape and it took me 7 months. My body was right, and a few months later I thought of my business; Get Right Athletix. I started calling myself Mr. Get Right and began writing my first book, The Pod, a fiction book about my story. With fitness, nutrition, and health I found my purpose through helping others take care of their body, so they can live longer. I want to inspire and encourage other young black men growing up, so that they can find significance in their life’s longevity. Living long is important for others and yourself. One year later, I ended up writing 10 books and helping over 10 people work out 3 or more times a week and eat healthier. Now people listen to my business’s slogan. GET RIGHT OR GET LEFT. Choose one and don’t let it choose you. It seems like everyone rather get right then get left. 2 years into my sentence and I have grown tremendously, but also while almost losing family. My little sister was my best friend, but prison ruined this. I battled with myself about letting go of people that I loved and today I still do. She is just one person I think about. How am I supposed to feel? I have Mixed Emotions. As a man it’s hard to just feel, but at least I’m honest when I say. I have Mixed Emotions. I’m still fighting my case, still helping others, and still praying for my freedom. I never gave up. Men feel too, and sometimes it’s mixed. I rather have mixed emotions than not feel at all. How do you feel?

Scar Trouble
By De’jon Yearling

I have accepted the fact that trouble is inevitable for me.
I am sure it’s a scar and not a tattoo.
Scars choose you and tattoos are chosen.
I struggle with the idea that I am a good person.
Good people don’t get in trouble this much do they?
I am not sure because I am in trouble more than less,
Trouble and I are like twins.
As much as I would rather be related to good, trouble never changes.
Trouble surely stays the same and keeps the same energy 

Am I wrong to accept what others judge?
It is funny they say you need to change for the good 

but being good doesn’t guarantee change
Trouble surely stays the same and keeps the same energy.
Am I wrong to accept what others judge?
Would I be considered good if I conformed to what others want?
In a world of numbers, I may never be right or wrong.
I understand that the bad out numbers the good.
How can I be good when the chances are low?
This should mean everyone is likely bad too.
The funny thing about trouble is it is loved and hated.
Hated from below and loved from above.
As much as I wish I didn’t have trouble like this.
l have scar trouble, a troublesome bliss.

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