A Mother’s Nursling
By DeAngelo Betts
I went five whole years without a day without tears trying to embrace my worst fears
I couldn’t even fathom that your love was not here in the clouds, the ocean, the hallway tiers
I just knew you were near…
Then one day I received a phone number after I reached out time after time,
She’s still alive, Monte was the only thing on my mind.
I laughed and cried as I listened to your childlike voice,
My son “Monte” you say, I think I remember your voice but it’s a lot older now…
Wow, I’m so relieved, my prayers were received, by the Man upstairs, wow! She’s still around…
Although afterwards I told my neighbor, whom didn’t care,
You told me that your head was full of grey hair…
I laughed at that though, and also apologized, because I know I placed stress upon you for years, that changed your crown
Which only made the past five years of tears, more severe, fresh with my own grey hairs in my beard.
Who knew that we were both starting new careers.
Nobody Knew
By DeAngelo Betts
There’s nothing new under the sun they say
the pain of nobody understanding you cuts deep in every way
It becomes extremely difficult each day, lying,
telling myself it’ll be “okay”.
Especially when the pain never fades.
My Queen Mother always reminded me that God never
give us more than we can bear
I believe her message is absolutely true and near
Except that night 33 years ago when I took his life,
playing with a gun that should not have been there.
I hated everything under the sun
to such an extent that now I have no one to hate
Is it too late? Can I be saved? or did that same sun lose its rays…
I feel like a pain-slave for I tent to embrace others whom are suffering too
Is this true about you too?
Can you help me express myself through words like now
Or are you as indifferent as the penal system that
threw me in prison at 16; a child!
Even though I was released, I’ve never found no peace
Society was so scary to me, nobody knew ‘me’ no more
My eyes went dim when I held him on that cold floor
As I reach up and out for a friend or two
I’m constantly judged before I get one toe in the water
Who knows how this rejection feels
am I to suffer alone in darkness forever?
Well, if so, I hope my mom was correct.
God never give us more than we can bear.
Because all these years later, until now
Nobody knew, that I still am that 16-year child
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