“Get y’all asses up!”
My dad burst into my and my older brother’s bedroom at 2 in the morning on a school night, yelling us awake.
“Get the hell up, get outside, and get some more wood to feed the fire!”
My brother and I would groggily drag our prepubescent selves outdoors, in the middle of those miserable Midwestern winters, busting apart logs frozen together like Popsicles, sheathed in snow and ice. We’d haul the wood into the house armful at a time, stacking it near the small wood-burning stove.
Thirty years later and I’m wide awake at 2 a.m. like I hear my dad’s voice from beyond the grave, telling me to get my ass up and get to work. For some reason, I feel most creative, closest to greatest, in the dead of night when the only things up are me and the moon. I get consumed with writing, whether it be an essay, a poem, a short story, or a letter. The fire in my soul helps me articulate my thoughts poetically and beautifully. Every word flows as effortlessly and naturally as spring water. This is me feeding my fire, by letting my soul speak through prose I keep my spirit ablaze while trying to ignite yours as well.
We all have dreams and aspirations, what Napoleon Hill refers to as “burning desire,” something we’re obsessively passionate about. That could be a dream home, a career, an ideal salary, or a specific amount of money we intend to save by a particular date, a weight loss goal, a dream girl, or even a bucket list of personal goals we aim to attain before our bodies expire.
I, for one, know that I need my dreams and ambitions. Setting, working toward, and achieving goals gives me purpose, confidence, and a sense of accomplishment. Like a bodybuilder constantly adding more plates, challenging themselves, or an innovative coder imagining new technologies to make our devices more interactive and efficient. I need the chase because when I’m not progressing, when I’m just treading water, that idleness leads to depression and I develop bad habits like overeating, failing to exercise, watching too much TV, and generally allowing myself to deteriorate. I believe the absence of growth is decay, so when I’m not actively progressing I feel like I’m withering away.
Being complacent is like being in the express lane but stuck in neutral, traffic zooming by on all sides. Standing still makes me feel like I’m wasting my life. I never plan to just be comfortable or content, accepting my lot in life like, “Oh, well, that’s the way the dice roll.” I aspire to be exceptional … extraordinary … remarkable! One day I will look back and be amazed at my growth and feats like, “Damn, you DID THAT!”
Feeding the fire is not about comfort. Our stove wasn’t decorative. We weren’t lugging in logs at 2 a.m. for the ambiance. Keeping that fire burning is about survival! Even as a 6-year-old boy, I understood that if the fire died so might we.
The same is true of our inner fire, that liveliness, that spark and spirit that drives and sustains us. When we burn out it’s as if our spirit fizzles into ashes; that’s why feeding the fire is so vital. Setting goals, even improbable, staying positive, even in darkness, and working toward our objective keeps us striving for brighter tomorrows, and seeing those improbable dreams accomplished fuels our creativity and widens our expectations for our lives.
I think the saddest thing in life is to witness a soul die. Folks with broken spirits are like zombies, aimlessly stumbling and staggering through life, usually blaming everyone else for the conditions of their lives while actively deciding to give up on themselves. They’ve internalized, “I CAN’T” and will give you every reason why they can’t do a thing.
James Baldwin wrote, “The ability to dream has been slowly beaten out of me.”
I can empathize with those of us who relate to Baldwin. I felt powerless as a youth, hopeless, unable to change myself or my surroundings. Many of us have endured extreme hardships, and have tried to scale the mountain only to stumble back to its base. We’ve been rejected 1,001 times, ridiculed, and jeered at. Each failure, each disappointment, each fall can wear away layers of our confidence and optimism, leaving us brittle and bitter as we slowly succumb to the deaths of our dreams and eventually our souls.
We know the look of dejection and despair all too well. When someone’s spirit begins to fade their eyes lose their luster. That brilliance that usually shines through is now dull. Their laugh is joyless and empty, their voice loses its warmth and sincerity, even their touch is void of its usual love and affection. No matter how hard one tries to maintain a facade, once their spirit dies, they’re just an empty shell.
What they don’t know, and will never discover, is on attempt 1,002, they finally reach the summit and their dreams are realized. I’ve seen it too many times to count. I’ve seen dozens of men unjustly sentenced to die in prison, overturn their convictions, and go home. I know guys who had spent decades on The Row ultimately released on parole. I’ve seen orphans, raised in the gutter, dream of being millionaires and doing it, teenage single mothers become successful entrepreneurs, guys who came to prison barely able to read leave with best-selling books. We’ve witnessed the impossible too many times to ever lay down and accept defeat. Napoleon Hill says, “Every failure brings with it the seed of equivalent success.” Better said in today’s vernacular, “Minor setback for a major comeback,” as long as you feed the fire inside, you can achieve anything.”
My family and friends often tell me they’re amazed at how positive, upbeat, and optimistic I am. Especially considering that I reluctantly walked through these prison gates as a high school sophomore, bright-eyed and naive. Twenty years later, I maintain my positive energy and optimistic outlook by trying not to criticize, condemn, or complain. I focus my energy on influencing those around me in a positive way.
Truth be told, I have a positive disposition because I chase my dreams. I know what I want out of life and I’m willing to make the necessary sacrifices in exchange for my dreams and desires. I believe when one discovers their purpose, when they decide that anything is possible and any desire is attainable, they’ll stop at nothing to realize their dreams.
I keep my fire burning within, propelling me toward my idea of greatness, by always staying active, never taking days off or losing focus of what’s important. I’ve seen too many lose hope and give up, they flee from the fight and cower through life, miserable, trying to find comfort in deplorable conditions. I encourage you to continue to pursue your dreams, don’t become disheartened, don’t get burned out from the 1,001 “no’s.” Feed your fire, be persistent, stay strong, stay motivated, NEVER GIVE UP! I promise you’ll be happy you did.
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