Death Watch Journal for Kevin Varga – DAY 6

This cell has a definite presence about it. Almost a physical thing that is on the verge of overwhelming me. I feel as if there is someone standing behind me stretching out their hand to touch me, but when I look, of course there is no one there. It very well could be a psychosomatic reaction but what if its not? I mean they say that an animal can smell our sense of fear, so what if we exude a pheromone when our fears consume us? Maybe these cells here on death watch are filled with the fears of those who have come before. I am definitely contributing if that is the case. Will the next occupant of this cell be able to feel my presence as they too wait on their imminent death? I think this place is haunted. Thomas tells me to test that hypothesis. I don’t know how to do that. He also says that regardless of whether there is a ghost here, such things have no power over me. He keeps telling me that will is everything, but I don’t really know that I have the strength to do this. I feel like I am cracking up. Where are you God?