Death Watch Journal for Kevin Varga – DAY 46

I have reached the halfway point in the journey; I couldn’t have made it to this point without you to support me. I must tell you all that I appreciate all that each and every one of you has done to make this journey as easy as possible for me. I know that I am the one going through it but in a way each of you has been here with me. You’ve seen me as men around me were murdered and when I lamented over feelings of abandonment. I still hold out hope for a stay of execution to prolong my life, but if this doesn’t happen, I know that I will have the support of you to see me through this time.

As I write these words to you, we prepare for yet another murder by the state of Texas on Tuesday March 30th. The man’s name is Franklin Alix and yet again I am the neighbor of the man to be murdered. I am not as close to him as I was to Joshua Maxwell, but still I wish to bring him to the attention of the world, by the time you read these words he will have been murdered by the state of Texas. Only proving that Texas’ voracious appetite for vengeance will never be sated. Not by Franklin’s death, not by mine nor by the murder of whoever it is that will replace me here on death watch. Until Texas is forced to re-evaluate the death penalty, the killings will continue. I hate to think of the poor victims that first had to suffer the tragic loss of the loved ones and be forced to endure the trials of the men that took that life. Then up to a decade later when they have most likely moved on and found a modicum of happiness once again, they are informed that they may come and witness the murder of the man that killed that loved one. Who would think this is a good idea? I certainly do not believe that by cutting open a wound again can be even remotely beneficial to anyone but most certainly not for those loved ones who must again be reminded that their loved one was brutally taken from them. Many have argued that ours is a more humane way to go, we are allowed those last moments to make our peace. We can have our loved ones make a farewell to us and then we are gently placed upon the table. Trapped down and poisoned in an attempt of humanity. What can be humane about making a man suffer for years under an unjust system that is designed solely for the purpose of killing? Then we must look at the political ramifications of the death penalty. My own case was only to enhance the political career of the DA. I find it very strange that one this, another election year; they have set my own execution date a mere day before that of my co-defendants. I cannot condone Billy’s actions on those two occasions when he decided to take those men’s lives, but I certainly can see the futility of putting him, not to mention ME, to death as a way of bringing closure to the victims families. We are only prolonging the pain and misery those deaths have already caused. Had the Hunt County DA’s office given the two of us a life sentence, no one would have been outraged. Then Billy and myself would have been in prison and the victims families would be able to heal their wounds knowing that neither of us posed a future threat to them or anyone else. I would have sought relief still for I truly do not believe that OI m responsible to the degree that Billy is, but that can no longer be argued legally by me as the state says that I received a fair and impartial trial. I can only wonder how this is true, but that is a rant for another day. I hope this isn’t too preachy for some of you. I close now.