Breaking Through The Darkness

*Artwork by Tawana Cortez

Broken hearts, failed relationships, abuse from the ones we love, discouraging words all cause us to build up walls around ourselves and our hearts, just like the callous on a working man’s hands, proof we are working hard to survive life. 

If we are just surviving, are we truly living? We cannot truly be living life locked away in our own self-made dungeon. After all the pain life has given us it is a huge undertaking to break through these walls and living in the shadows. We often do not realize all the beauty in life until we experience a life-altering event and we lose something or someone precious to us. If we start to break down any pieces of these walls and peek through to see what’s on the other side, we might be pleasantly surprised. 

I believe the way to break through is by letting go. We have to let go of our painful past experiences in order to live a peaceful, happy life, free from the walls that contain us. When something bad happens to us, we want to move away from it as quickly as possible.  So we push it down inside of us, build up a wall around it, and march forward with life.

We hardly ever stop. We sit with the pain, feel the pain, process the pain, then let it go. It is a natural instinct to avoid suffering, but by doing this, we are locking ourselves away, missing out on all life has to offer us. If we stop, sit, and process the pain instead of holding on, the walls will slowly come down. If we see all the tough experiences as blessings and lessons all wrapped up in one, we start experiencing life in a new way. 

Slowly but surely we will be able to break down all the walls we have built up. When was the last time you noticed the beauty of the moment you are in? I am writing this sitting in a federal prison. Seeing the beauty here from behind the walls I’ve built only to be contained by prison walls is a daunting task. I make an effort every single day to try to see and appreciate the moment I’m in. 

For instance, I have a long, quiet walk to work every morning. The trees are tall and green, the mountains are stunning. The air is fresh and clean. The sounds of nature are calming. 

I was here six months before I noticed how breathtaking my surroundings were. I was bitter and mad, living enclosed in a wall of misery. It took me some time to chip away my walls and let the light shine through. We need to take all the experiences we have in life — the good, the bad, and the ugly — and completely feel them in the very moment they happen, then let them go. If we need to sit, cry, scream, and throw a fit, then we do it and let go. 

We cannot continue to build up walls around the traumas of our past, because we will never truly be living life to the fullest. We are preventing ourselves from enjoying our surroundings, family, friends, laughter, food, the list goes on and on. Break through your walls so you can experience the beauty of life. Most importantly, break through so this life can experience the beauty that is YOU!