Emotional Equity
By Damarcus Ivey
Women are taught
That real love breeds endurance
Yet in life real love remains elusive
Leaving her to be a victim
Of mental, emotional abuse
And of usage…
She becomes content
With a love that’s abusive
Forgiving every mistake
And men don’t understand
The amount of culpability
They take on when they’ve
Kissed a woman beyond her lips
When that kiss has infiltrated her soul
And opens her aura
Therefore,
Granting him the power
To build or break
Are mistakes by happenstance
If they’re constantly happening?!
Ironically,
There’s no love without endurance
But love shouldn’t only feel like you’re just enduring
Your love is only human…
Why does it feel like “soulmates”
Re the most elusive?
And you have to wonder what you’re doing
If enduring makes you feel foolish
Love isn’t putting up with hurt
And being celebrated for staying through it….
Illusions
By Damarcus Ivey
You said…
This is not a pen pal service
What if this one-sided correspondence
Has served it’s mental and emotional purpose?
Possibly unconsciously
Your energy, beliefs maybe
Everything one wants and needs…
Unfortunately, no on ever measures up
To what we make them out to be!
This is possibly
Why love almost always
Leads to disappointment
When you awake every morning
Crating a lover
That they could never be…
Is it their fault
For not being able to measure up?
Or is it the other’s
For selfishly looking for
What they need
Overlooking what the irreplaceable person
Their ideal lover already is
We seem to first fall for our ideal of love
Even when we have no idea of love…
How do you not become infatuated
With someone with compassion for the second class?
I was voiceless and you were present
Aided in me being heard for the first time
I know you may say I could never have you
And I’m delusional – But
Aren’t we all when we think with our heart over mind?
Chasing Ghost
By Damarcus Ivey
You ever
Lose someone and it’s
As if they’ve left you
With only a ghost for you
To mourn to?
And that ghost grows into
Everything that no one else compares to
Why?!
I wonder if your significant other
Knows they’re not the one for you
Do they allow you
To fall with no intentions of catching you?
Though if you ask yourself
How many times have you
Ignored what’s right in front of you?
Arrogantly believed it was yours
And it couldn’t go on without you
Now it’s gone…
And you’re drowning in regrets
Can’t seem to let go
Wondering how do you cover up
A love that’s tattooed on your soul
Still I would like to thank you
For giving me the opportunity
To experience everything we were
But may never be….again
Made in the U.S.
By Damarcus Ivey
I cry the tears of a blind man.
Therefore, I never see where a drop lands.
Though, hopefully they’ll land inside
of my palm to wash the blood
off of my own hands …
We all justify our sins
and in my world, there’s no sympathy for an enemy
yet I wonder is it only our environments
that desensitizes our mind, producing a lack of empathy?
I was once told: “Men don’t cry at no cost”.
Then I read that Jesus wept on the cross!
Why is it we only love in hindsight
once we’ve taken it for granted or it’s lost?!
I hear all of the silent cries of my peers,
years of systematic oppression that still falls upon deaf ears.
The echoes from lost souls
convicted felons and victims of cold cases
mugshot pictures of faces that one mistake, bad predicament
can turn anyone into a second-class citizen …
America home of “classism”
Your environment, race can get you stopped, frisked
and/or possible gunshot victims
get shipped through a system of prisons,
supervised by individuals that don’t see you as more than a number,
treat you as such until you revolt!
And instead of accepting responsibility
they call you a monster …
A Good Woman is a Man’s Stress Reliever
By Damarcus Ivey
Every night
I want to feel your softness
And forget my burdens
Inside that warm place
That could hold a man and allow him
To release his worries …
Echoes of slow songs bouncing off the walls
Of my prison cell
Wishing the right woman would enter my life
Like pennies entering the water of a wishing well
Unfortunately, most women think, feel
That time and distance will rob us of our special moments
Therefore they betray what we built
Because my situation doesn’t permit to hold them
As they wish to be held on those nights
When they’re wet and lonely …
If these walls could talk?
They’d tell about the real me
The one you can’t find on Google
The one that isn’t a gang member or a shooter
The one that uses poems to express
All the emotions he suppresses
The one who views all women as God
Most perfect imperfection …
Damn! SMDH
But the juries of our peers
Careless if our actions reflect our intentions
Just as,
In most paragraphs, the subject can lose
Significance in a sentence
Those who claimed to love you hold you down
Disappear once you’ve been sentenced
Did I mention
I wish I had one woman
If only to feel her softness
And forget my burdens
Inside that warm place
That could hold a man and allow him
To release his worries!
Shift Change
By Damarcus Ivey
Damn …
It’s shift change
And here we go again
Looking me in the eyes
As if you’re looking through me
Seeing what’s exactly on my mind = you!
Then you smile
Leaving me to assume that means
Assumptions, facts, fantasies
Which means you’re nothing but a dream
An illusion, a product of my fantasy
Though in reality?
I lie alone with greasy palms
And lustful thoughts
Fantasizing about a secret you may never keep
I wonder if I exposed
These desires would you understand
Or would you only forget me
Once you go home into the arms of another man
I find myself unconsciously awaiting your arrival
During shift changes
Am I only one of the many
Who fiend for your attention
Left to go over your photos in my photographic memory
When you’re missing …
Damn! It’s shift change
And there you go again
Looking me in the eyes
As if you’re looking through me
Knowing exactly what’s on my mind = you
Perfect Strangers
By Damarcus Ivey
Most times when it’s love?
Even in denial it’s hard to deny the energy
Though sometimes love can
Turn lovers into strangers with some memories …
I quietly envy those
Who can easily become emotionally attached
The heart is irrational with no knowledge of time or distance
It is emotionally limitless!
‘Til we taint it with our limits
Standards that eventually grow into Stage 4 cancers
Slowly killing off
Love and its attachments
Leaving only empty promises
In places lovers used to find passion …
Have you
Ever been in love?
Then awoke one morning
And nothing was as it used to be?
Whereas you and the love you once knew?
Became nothing more
Than two strangers with some memories …
Emotional Mazes
By Damarcus Ivey
Ever thought about why is it
So hard for people to accept when it’s over?
Could it be,
After being drunk in love
We’d rather be emotionally hungover
Than to awake one morning alone
And emotionally sober …
Though it’s impossible to quit cold turkey
And personally?!
I consciously or unconsciously seem to ignore
My lover that is worthy
For conditional lovers which I’d never admit
How their come-and-go love
Has scarred or possibly hurt me!
Ever thought about
How love is like a maze?
An amazing maze full of circles
That always
Seems to lead us back
To where we swore we’d never go back again
Yet ironically …
Is the only place we feel whole again … Damn!
All Voids Matter
By Damarcus Ivey
Does one or both persons have to be in love to make love?
Or is lust only manipulating our desires?!
Which is why you and him only seem to get along
During those moments he’s inside you …
Would you rather he lie to you or lie with you?
Or would you settle for lies
As long as you never have to die alone
Are you happy?
Or you’d rather remain delusional?!
Holding dear to illusions as some people
Who enjoy some of the most beautiful tones
With their eyes closed
Because whether consciously or unconsciously
No one really wants to face the music …
Isn’t it crazy
How quickly feelings can be shaped
When someone fills a void
Gives the attention that one craves
But wasn’t finding
With the fact that there’s nothing more vulnerable
Than a woman with a broken heart
(Nobody wants to be alone)
Normality
By Damarcus Ivey
Have you ever heard
The fastest way to kill
A big dream is to present it to a small mind …
What if, possibly
The individual is limited by the belief
The world is no bigger than his or her environment?
Mother a crack addict
Father may have been supplying her drug of choice
Denied the idea of a baby
After he climaxed
So selling herself became the only means of financial support
Therefore,
The child is raised on struggle and drama
Which in my environment we see as normal
So the child doesn’t even understand
His or her emotional trauma …
The individual’s biggest dream may only be
To escape the reality of crime
And friends, family members whose existence
Are mostly defined inside of their chalk lines
Ever heard no reality
Is the same in all minds?
So what is normal?
Love Cycle
By Damarcus Ivey
Damn …
Love is one of those puzzles
that leaves you exhausted and frustrated.
Sometimes doesn’t it feel
as if love is only this big cycle
where men and women go around
loving the ones they can never have
and neglecting the one right in front of them …
you.
You women and your emotional walls.
The passageways to a woman’s heart are infinite
with every negative experience.
Heartbreak, heartache?
A woman builds new walls.
Some unconsciously build a castle of sadness
around their hearts.
Have you,
ever poured so much into the one you loved
that it left you empty?
And every time you looked for someone else to fill you up
they only left you
with more voids to fill …
Love is
one of those puzzles that leaves you
exhausted and frustrated.
Only Human
By Damarcus Ivey
Sometimes my strength falters
and I feel as if I’ve had enough.
Those are the nites
I can feel my emotional wall cracking up.
In those moments?
I realize that I am only human after all.
Tears standing on the slants of my eyes.
And I am afraid to let them fall.
Why?! Because I usually hide my hurt
behind my anger, suppressing my emotions
with hope, no one notices the changes
in my walk due to all these burdens on my shoulders.
Life is only smoking mirrors and
we are all just characters who are in/out of character
looking in life’s mirror
wondering who is staring back at us?
Going to and fro ‘til we reach our final destination.
Seems I’ve been everywhere once though I’ve only been pacing,
pacing back and forth from a corner to a cell … Then
last night, I just fell
and prayed all nite in the corner of a cell.
P.S. Even the strongest man is only human.
P.O.V.s
By Damarcus Ivey
We’re all in the same building.
We just have different views.
Most times most of us have no clue
who is truly for you!
Ironically, the big things we’ll endure.
The small things will separate us,
end friendships and/or relationships.
Therefore, emotions can literally blind us.
Some people can’t move forward, always focused on their past,
only seeing what’s supposed to be behind them.
I used to be a “physical” jeweler,
constantly in search of rare diamonds,
though I’ve made a habit of only finding pieces
that do not fit into anything timeless.
The women I’ve encountered were only beautiful to me.
for a limited amount of timing …
I am toxic so being for me is sorta like climbing a mountain.
One or the other usually gives up before they’ve climbed it.
Honestly, you won’t know love until you’ve lost it.
So how will you keep, not lose the one meant for you?
Once you understand,
we’re all in the same building.
We just have different views …
Queens Never Settle
By Damarcus Ivey
A woman’s first love determines
how she loves all those afterwards …
Heartbreaks are contagious.
You hurt others by your unwillingness
to give your all.
Due to your fear of being hurt again
a man’s level of security he provides
allows room for a woman to be vulnerable.
No need for her to be hard.
His tenderness allows her to feel safe to be submissive.
She doesn’t feel pressed to lead
when he never leads her astray.
Independence, control isn’t an issue
when everything is under control …
Your lover should never rush nor neglect your desires
by chasing his own pleasure.
Each stroke she should feel in her stomach
tapping on her heart
whenever his eyes roam over her body?
It should make every imperfection feel appreciated …
This man?!
Should be the standard and everyone else that
isn’t him nor doing these things
is loving you wrong …
First you gotta know what you deserve.
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