Life Skills

Life Skills Class

I finally feel I have found a group of people I can be vulnerable with.

Last month, I started Life Skills class. Every day, I look forward to going to class. We take turns bringing cookies to share with the class. We also have plenty of coffee in the urn. Now, I’ve become a daily coffee drinker.

The first two days, we were somewhat shy. On the third day, several of my classmates really opened up.

Our classroom is our safe space. Every day, I see my classmates in a new light. Daily, I’m blown away at how vulnerable my classmates are.

The Life Skills class is two years old. Across the street, at prison system headquarters, one of the directors came up with the concept.

The student workbook is eighty-nine pages. We have daily homework that builds on the class lesson.

The class is an opportunity to learn about and challenge yourself in ways that may improve your experiences and the way you see your life overall.

The life coaches do a great job of expanding on the lessons from their lives prior to prison. They also give examples of applying the lessons in prison.

The six inmate life coaches rotate to teach our class. They are all good men who really care about us and want us to become better human beings.

Every day the life coaches tell us they are not better than us. They remind us that we also teach them daily.

Today was my day to teach our class. I feel like we were all very nervous when the life coach told us we also teach.

At first, I was stressed out. However, the stress quickly dissipated the more comfortable I got with my classmates. I eventually got to the point where I was looking forward to my day of teaching.

I had zero nervous energy when I got in front of my classmates. I knew they support me and are receptive to learning from me.

My lesson went extremely well. I had my classmates laughing, nodding their heads, and taking notes.

I also noticed the two life coaches taking notes.

When I finished my lesson, I received a big round of applause from everyone. A couple of my classmates gave me compliments. At the end of class, two classmates asked me to further explain some points.

Life Skills class is daily changing us. Every day we share examples of how our thinking is changing, and we now recognize things we didn’t notice before.

Several of us have shared that, at first, we didn’t know what to expect from class. Now, we see that it is making us better people.

Before, I had not ever noticed most of my classmates on the unit. Now, when we see each other, we greet one another.

I am grateful for my classmates; they have already taught me so much wisdom.

I feel that we have a good group of people. We recognize that we are not perfect; we are all a work in progress. We have shared many things that each of us is working on. We recognize that real change is a lifelong process.

Our class motto is: keep it real

Every day, I’m blown away at how my classmates are vulnerable. Just looking at them, I wouldn’t have ever suspected that they went through or are going through things in life.

Our graduation day next month is going to be bittersweet. We’ll no longer be able to meet together daily and teach each other. At the same time, I do feel I can approach my classmates when I see them and have an in-depth conversation with them.

Life Skills – Graduation

Many people stated how bittersweet it was that our Life Skills class has come to an end. We had our graduation on December 13th, 2023.

All 31 graduates were impressed by our graduation.

We had 35 alumni attend.

I spoke to several alumni and they said our graduation was way better than theirs. One said nobody showed up to their graduation. Another said our lemon cake was awesome and better than the plain white cake they received at the last graduation.

Both wardens and four captains attended.

We got brand new clothes that were starched and pressed.

We were in the chapel from 7:30am to 11:00am.

Everyone was heartfelt and sincere. We started with a Jeopardy competition between the alumni and graduates. The graduates won 17 to 6.

One inmate I had not ever seen before did magic tricks.

Several people from both the graduates and alumni made comments about how Life Skills impacted them.

Several alumni mentioned how they use the tools they learned in Life Skills daily.

One graduate stated that Life Skills taught him his mom is wrong; she raised him to think wrongly. Now, he sees that he’s not set in his ways and that he can change. He can now let go of his default beliefs and have new beliefs that will benefit him in the long-term.

The chaplain stated that, in 2023, this prison had ten classes for a total of 95 graduates. This cycle 12, 13, and 14 graduated.

The choir did a great job singing an inspirational song.

Each class had a speaker.

The first speaker stated that Life Skills really opened his eyes: He now sees that there are a lot of good people here and he needs to be more social.

My class speaker stated that all the people in our class are good men. He thanked each of us individually. I was surprised when he said he saved the best for last – he said my classmates looked forward to me presenting my daily homework, since they knew I would make them laugh and learn at the same time.

The third speaker started by saying he wishes he had Life Skills when he was twelve-years-old. If he had, he’s certain he wouldn’t be in prison right now. He highly praised one classmate, who doesn’t speak English. Daily, he had his homework in English and Spanish, another classmate would translate. He taught his classmates too much.

All three speakers touched on how they all helped one another grow in class. They learned that it’s okay to cry and be vulnerable: You can’t be given help if others don’t know what you’re going through.

The warden spoke for fifteen minutes. The first thing she stated was that all three class speakers were sincere and heartfelt. Everyone has clearly been impacted by Life Skills class.

She stated that the six Inmate Life Coaches really care about making our community better. She saw that they did a great job teaching us all.

She said that getting our certificates was not the end. Now, both the graduates and alumni have to continue to keep making our community better.

The four captains walked in expecting the usual graduation. Their mindsets changed as they heard everyone speak. They realized that Life Skills really impacted us and we have all changed for the better.

The chaplain handed out certificates. We shook hands with the two wardens and the four captains. All six coaches hugged us.

We had cake and iced tea. Then we went to have BBQ chicken for lunch.

I know that Life Skills have changed me. I now talk to more people. I patiently listen to them and offer advice, if they seek it. I have told many people to the classes, since it will help them become a better and improved human being.

Value of a Man

This past week there was a seminar held here: Value of a Man.

Flyers were put up ten days in advance.

On the day, I thought I wouldn’t be able to attend since the guard didn’t seem to want to open the cell doors.

I rushed to the third floor of the infirmary and thought I’d have to sit way in the back.

I walked in and am shocked that the place is empty. I see about eighty chairs set up. I instantly feel bad for the person who came up with the idea. He was very happy to be able to put on something positive.

I think we all felt bad that there were only fifteen people. The guard even seemed to feel bad. She got on the radio and asked other officers to again call out for Value of a Man seminar.

The horn sounded for count, so that meant no more movement.

The coordinator inmate walked in a few minutes later. I think he needed a moment to lift his spirits.

The sound technician unplugged the speakers and microphone since they won’t be needed.

The coordinator started by saying he was disappointed that no one showed up. He says he told himself that hopefully those present were meant to hear the six speakers.

Three of the speakers I had not ever seen here.

The first speaker started by saying he’s disappointed the room is empty but he’ll power forward.

He continued by saying all the men he looks up to are dead. He reads lots of self-help books written by men, including Dale Carnegie. He said we need to think about how what we do today will affect us the next ten weeks, months, years, etc.

He shared that, as a child, he had no men to look up to: his father was in prison; he was raised by his mother, aunt, and grandmother. He told us we need to be good fathers, husbands, and sons, even though we’re in prison.

The second speaker said we can’t say we’re friends with someone when we know nothing about each other; in order to be a good friend, we need to be vulnerable and talk openly about the things we’re really going through.

He said we need to be real men. He shared how lots of men outside prison are not being the leaders and pillars of the community they should be. He said every time he goes to visitation, he doesn’t ever see men – all he sees are women visiting their husbands, sons, siblings, fathers.

The next speaker said that we need to value ourselves; we need to have positive self-talk instead of negative self-talk. He talked about how we automatically think something when we see a specific person walk by: But how do we see ourselves? How would three other people think of us as we walk by?

The next speaker said he’s been in this prison seven years. He shared that events like this used to be packed and how disappointing it was that no one showed up.

He continued that’s exactly why we need to work on improving our community: We need to stop complaining and work on what we can do to better things. He said that when you throw a pebble in a pond there’s lots of ripples. We need to be the ones who help make our community better.

He said that prison is not responsible for rehabilitation; we have to be the ones to decide we need to change; we need to build each other up instead of tearing down one another.

The last speaker said we need to focus on our legacy. For example, we still talk about Albert Einstein, what will people say about us when we’re no longer here?

He said we need to find men to look up to: Kobe Bryant looked up to Michael Jordan; Labron James looked up to Kobe Bryant.

At various points, I would look around and see people were tearing up and sniffling.

I think those of us present heard many things we needed to hear: We need to look up to men, so we can inspire those men looking up to us.

I’ve shared many points I heard in the seminar with people on my wing and at work; some wished they had attended.