Death Watch Journal for Kevin Varga – DAY 14

I have found an execution list taped to my wall, it’s from a year ago. I have been looking at those names on that list, I remember each of these men. I wonder if next year at this time will some other man sit here in this cell and wonder at my fate? I want to still be alive next year at this time but if I am not I want to leave behind something that will make others remember me. I have been thinking about these men on this list, were they scared at the end? Did they ever want God to take this burden from them? Did they stay brave until the end? I want so much to “be a man” to show no fear as is the “convict” way, but I cannot lie and say that I have no fear, my fear is of the unknown, what awaits me “beyond”?