The End of Suzy-Q and Me
By J. Michael Stanfield Jr.
In the beginning
the world was warm and sunny
and we took wing
in my big red Thunderbird
your black and brown face at home
in the wind
in our first apartment
(but you were not my first dog).
For a time
You were small and fuzzy
your feet as big as pine cones
you were frightened by the furnace
and Megadeath from my boom box
and unnaturally colossal face
of Chris Clark
regarding us from a bus-stop billboard.
Soon we grew
And you decided there was nothing to fear
from machinery or heavy metal
or from giant newsmen heads
seen at downtown red lights.
Two peas in our pod we did everything
together
we went to work
together
at the boarding kennel where we met
and I took you to parties and family
reunions
we even got arrested once
together
for beers in our car
I went to jail, you to the pound.
But when we were reunited
you didn’t hold it against me.
You probably didn’t know it
But I was not always good for you
Although I loved you with the purest love
The deepest
And you loved me more than anyone else.
Girlfriends came
and sometimes didn’t come
there were a few non-dog roommates too,
but in the end
even in the bitter end
your soul-heavy eyes stayed with me like a promise.
I did not weep in prison
at the thought of lost living
or missed fulfillment
children and accomplishment
or other legacies that
would not be realized.
I did not cry when steel doors clanged
And menacing metaphors
Snuffed out hope.
But I wept at last
when I heard they were taking out the ad
to find you
a home.
I wept.
I had known
with justified acceptance
when I confessed
my part
in the junk-fueled nightmare
that I had sacrificed my right
to sunny days
and rolled-down windows
and all the beauty
of a mythical world.
But despite my guilt and my shame
and the pangs of a sensitive
conscience
that had been repressed by
psychology and addiction
despite my urgent need
for confession
and repercussion
I think that I might have
swallowed it all
and kept my ugly mouth shut
had I realized then
I was bringing
an end
To Suzy-Q and me.
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| J. Michael Stanfield Jr. (with Jake) |
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