Giving Back
By Kevin Potts
Anger or fear improvising the words we speak.
They have come to exist and just like our actions,
there’s no point of retraction.
They’re just here and when moments pass,
our pain is just there.
Useless to say I won’t use.
While stuck in denial and acceptance I refuse.
Refused to acknowledge the problems that run deep.
The secrets we keep, just to entertain an image of not being weak.
Co-existing with subconscious actions,
there was no need to speak.
At what point can I acknowledge,
there’s insanity in not addressing the emotion.
That submerges us in waves like oceans,
because I ran a marathon longer than my mind and body was trained for?
Yet I feel at some point I will not be the same.
Failing to acknowledge many have came to save me,
but I say I saved myself.
Through spans of time,
I can’t be surprised to find no help.
I realized if want to live,
something had to give.
My recovery is intrinsic.
I do it for myself.
That way, at some GOD given moment,
I can be there to save someone else.
It Could`ve Been You
By Kevin Potts
Have you seen her tears?
They lead the way to her soul.
While she walks these streets,
Streets full of Johns, Pimps, and drug addicts.
Inside her pocket is ten dollars.
She cries from her past pain and hurts.
Word in the streets, whispers her past failures.
Tainted memories of this runway model.
Her Beauty hides the ugliest internal scars unhealed.
The guys that used her.
The uncle who abused her.
A father that never told her she was worth the world.
But people speak about her future like it`s already gone.
Ten dollars in her veins, wither her pain away.
Look at her!
Her life could`ve been yours, if the world did this to you.
Forever Mine
By Kevin Potts
For you, my love.
I live, I die, I smile.
Only for the moments your body is within my arms.
Your smell enters my nose.
Our limits are marked by eternity.
Understanding the world knows no love like ours.
This love we share is foreign.
I`ve made you in my mind-
Therefore, you are flawless.
In my mind I created your existence.
So, we can never be departed, even in death.
My sanctuary and refuge.
I shall never be without your companionship.
For you are mine,
Forever mine.
You Lie
By Kevin Potts
How can you sit there and judge me with your thoughts?
But on your face, you have a smile?
While out your mouth bears lie have brought to this bed
Knowing you lie.
How can your take my ring and promise to be faithful.
However, within the depths of you is someone is someone so hateful?
Your take my last name on in public eyes to cover up the adultery you commit on the XXXX
You still have no regard for me or in the bed in which you lie.
How dare you go to church and stand before God knowing you sow the devil`s deeds?
You can hide the truth from the Earth, not from him.
When the Pastor speaks, I hope your soul turns to fire and coals.
You need to cleanse your soul.
This leads me to empty rooms where I bawl
Because I know inside, I hate you, God knows I do.
It`s because in my heart I know … YOU LIE
Recognizing the Change
By Kevin Potts
That I am not afraid to die
I remember I said men don`t cry
I remember when women were a game
Just a pretty face with a name
Then there was the thought to never be married
White dress and a black suit became scary
I remember I measured manhood with my fist
How many items I can sell moving my lips?
Then wisdom took hold coming in through the window
Got my whole world in limbo
I later had my son; I became scared to die
I couldn`t bear the thought I couldn`t be by his side.
I wanted to teach him different
Told him it`s okay to cry
Then slowly tears formed down my eyes
I realized I was changing inside
Then women became equal to me
Not an object, but a woman I see
With genuine thoughts, feelings, and concerns
Not to be pushed out and burned
Then marriage was no longer disgust
It became a necessity that continues to tug at me
Then I knew men use their words from his lips to fight his wars,
Not his fist
It`s crazy how change comes so quickly.
No Reason to Judge
By Kevin Potts
Who are we to judge a man?
A man who voices his thoughts
Corresponding the conscience of his soul
Lives his life with integrity and not be society`s double standard
Is he less of a patriot without a uniform?
Less of an attribute to society if his collar is blue.
Scrambles to pick up crumbs from your loaves of bread.
Life is difficult.
I didn`t have no silver spoon, pardon my plastic.
Life has made me rich in life and spirit.
But you! Mr. Rich Guy, don`t know what is struggle
How dare you rally Black Lives Matter!
Then go home and mock our struggle
I`m not a critic blaming my shortcomings on oppression
I choose to turn on the lights and watch the roach’s scatter.
But least I go home with my integrity and self-peace
So, who are you to judge me!
As you bleed, you are still just a man.
Painful 7`s
By Kevin Potts
I.
I was eleven, I prayed for answers to questions I didn`t know
Why do mommas get stuck on welfare?
Why is daddy on coke?
Why do politicians act like poverty is a joke?
I say it`s bullshit to get a vote!
I prayed for answers I didn`t know.
II.
I was eighteen, I prayed for answers to questions I didn`t know
Why did I have to lose my job?
Why did my house get robbed and they take my money for rent?
Why they take items I could sale to make ends meet?
What options do I have but to return to the streets?
I open the refrigerator to bread and a pack of meat
III.
I was twenty-five, I prayed for answers to questions I didn`t know
With tears in my eyes ask my daughter had to die?
Why couldn`t my grandma meets her before she went to Heaven?
Both the ones who made my path straight are not here today.
They asked me to stay and pull the cord on grandma
I can`t do it, isn`t that your job God?
Never did I believe 8 months later I have to play my daughters Lord.
IV.
I am thirty-two, pill bottles in my hands
Only thing I ask God is to have mercy on my tortured soul
My life in shambles, a life I can`t do.
I prayed for answers and heard none from you.
I prayed four thousand prayers, with 3,997 of them forgotten.
Here I come God, will you answer me now?
The Beauty of It All
By Kevin Potts
The wind carries the leaves
Oh, how are thou free
Fade from green to orange
Changing slowly like me
Another day has passed
Another season gone
One death of old
One birth of young
Trees left naked
Hoping to regrow
We`ll see tomorrow
Beauty of the unknown
What You Don`t Understand
By Kevin Potts
My sorrows, my cross too heavy to bear
Testing the limits of my mental strength
But nobody knows my pain
Can`t visualize the thoughts in my brain
I threw away my blades
To not vocalize my pain
Not for people to judge as they do
Psychologists say it`s part on manic depression
Wants to give me pills for the stressing
But it doesn`t cease the pain
The thoughts in my brain
Multiple side effects,
They are insane.
Nowhere close to the immediate gratification of blood on the floor.
Withdrawing the pain, I feel from my core.
They don`t understand
What have you done? ` they scream.
Life in death feel better it seems.
Safer Alone
By Kevin Potts
Cry no more
Waterfalls run dry
Pain becomes a normality it seems
I find nightmares equivalent to dreams
So how can I feel,
When my sense of feeling is obsolete
From the moment of birth
Pain was my twin
My counterpart I couldn’t shake
I’ve seen death stare into me
Its eyes as dark as midnight without stars
Solitude as cells without windows
Then when love reaches for me
Somehow it falls short of reach
Oh how I yearn for it to hold me
Yeah I am scared of its comfort to be taken
I am safer in my dark soul
Not wanting what can be taken from me
Then its absence won’t hurt
Because it was safer to be alone
Just My Words
By Kevin Potts
My body and soul is restless
Without the presence of you
My wold’s of orbit
My mind’s confused
My heart is entombed in my body
But it’s not mine
For you’re its rightful owner
When I am not in your presence
I become a loner
So I hope my words don’t fall upon deaf ears
I hope your next letter
Don’t confirm my worst fears
Before you I feared nothing in life
Now I fear losing you as my wife
The words I said can’t be unsaid
My actions can’t be undone
Yet in my heart I know
You fall second to none
Your absence will be devastating to my existence
I want you to sit back and reminisce
Reminisce on the days I made you smile
The day we stood before God and said our soulful vows
I love you more than life
Yet at times fall I short
Still the love have for you I can’t ignore
I will do whatever, as long as it takes
To assure you of your place in my life
The key to my heart and soul (MY WIFE)
I know every day I live I have to strive harder to prove
But I will baby, because I can’t lose you
Heartless
By Kevin Potts
When I close my eyes I’m in my dominion
Nothing matters, not even the next one’s opinion
Rather this happens or the other
Where fantasy and reality collides
Pain meshes with turmoil
The world’s poison saturates the soil
You say you loved me,
I believed you
You did me wrong,
I didn’t leave you
It will crush us within its sea, that’s troubles
I know we’re in for a struggle
These were dangerous games and you played them
It’s fucked up no matter how you stage’em
So when karma comes,
Reap your reward. It will destroy you with its sword
Life’s not easy.
You made it hard
You killed the love in me,
You showed no regard
Calls Without Conversation
By Kevin Potts
Don’t confess love of love you don’t feel,
Telling me lies in collect calls
Then go back and lay with him
Don’t ask why I don’t call, no more
You know why
The man without morals has died
From the ashes rebirths a new me
I say things he wouldn’t ponder
So there’s the reason you confess false love for me
I care enough to tell you I don’t love you
I can’t love you
You’re not mine as long as you wear that ring
A public display of treason for your marriage
Karma won’t become my companion for your wicked deeds
My words won’t fulfill your lustful needs
So don’t ask why I don’t call
The question is why would I call to say nothing
Chance
By Kevin Potts
I want to embrace your love
I just don’t know how
Do I approach with caution?
Or do I let my guard down?
I look at the world around me,
I see heartbreak everywhere
I been down this road before,
Another love lost I can’t bear
Momma always said don’t look for love.
Let love look for you.
So now I wonder,
Was you the one to give my heart too?
I know that I am scared,
I will give it one last try.
Because I know nobody wants to be alone,
When the day comes to die.
Don’t Make Me Weak
By Kevin Potts
I try to find the words to convey
I want your love
Yet I am scared of you to stay
No wanting to recreate history
Scars of pain
I don’t know what you want from me
To hurt me and to put my heart in shame
Bearing witness to your childish games
I don’t know what you want from me
To hurt me and put my heart in shame
Bearing witness to your childish games
I don’t want to relive what we will never have
But damn this broken hope gives me a desire for you
Compelled to hear your voice
You pay for calls and write
Knowing your my kryptonite
I hate to be in conflict with myself
I hope time doesn’t repeat my pain of my weakness for you
Take Me As I Am
By Kevin Potts
Inspired by Lyfe Jennings song “If Tomorrow Never Comes”
I ask God, do you see me?
Do you see the tears I cry?
And the man I strive to be?
Do you see my heart that’s scarred?
Scarred from many heartbreaks and lies
Smiles and moments of loud cries
Can you see my victories and defeats?
I hope so because I lay them at your feet
I don’t want to carry my pain, my anger and hate
My days, God, I wish to dwell with you
Please tell me I am worth it
Even though I don’t deserve it
Just have mercy on me
See my past no more,
As I walk through your door
Troubled
By Kevin Potts
My mind has not been my own
I hear voices of my failures
I am never alone
I walk around with my face angry
Yet me heart torn
I seek personal change,
To be reborn
A new me, a new person
With a love in my life
I know is certain
I turn away while halfway to the door
Cause I’m scared of rejection
That I don’t want to feel no more
I’ll sit here
Yes I will
With a mind of indecision
Where I cut through my mind with precision
Sometimes I rather feel the hurt
Than run the risk to be treated like dirt
I’m me
I’m the troubled me
Never
By Kevin Potts
Pick up my heart
Don’t leave it there!
As if you never cared
My love for you ran deep
You dispose if it as if it’s nothing to keep
Your mockery brings my pain
Do you want to reinflict?
I don’t get why you treat me like this
I love you before you loved yourself
I was your warrior when there was nobody else
Now you got money and others come around
You forgot I was always down
PICK UP MY HEART!
DON”T LEAVE IT THERE
You spit and mock
Then walk away
I knew then
You never cared
Hindsight
By Kevin Potts
I look down with a face of disguise
Not knowing who to love or who to trust
I suffered injustice, tell me is it enough?
The callouses on my heart are getting more tough
Don’t ask me who I am
Because I don’t know
Don’t ask me what are my dreams
Because I live in nightmares
The thought of death
Doesn’t leave me scared
My heart’s stripped of its integrity
But somewhere there might be love inside there
No one comes to rescue this child
This child who never cried is old
Engulfed by the insanity that lurks in the hood
I got locked up they didn’t come looking for me
I gave to everybody with love
Now I look around, it tells me who my real friends will be
When you ask for a picture of me
I can send a blank sheet
Because my face means nothing for all I can see.
Don’t Wake Me
By Kevin Potts
If I have to wake and the image of you disappears
I rather be left here
Where I can never leave you behind
You’re forever in my mind
I can feel you, touch you
Hold you and love you
And never be left out of your presence
Still your beauty is marked with perfection
When I am not close to you, I turn paranoid
I can’t wake, because I don’t want to be lonely
My heart in real life is in pieces
I need you to console me
So don’t make me opening my eyes to this world without you
In the world I can’t have you
It’s a brutal truth
If I lose sight of you
My eyes will weep rivers
Don’t wake me up
Before I open my eyelids
I rather God take me up
With Me
By Kevin Potts
What’s life without you
I wish to not know
A love so deep for you
I can’t let go
To fall in love with you
Was beyond my choice
We were destined
When I heard your voice
In love with you
Is what I will always be
Dreams every night
Of your body close to me
I can love you
Soon you’ll see
You were destined to be with me
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