There’s been a strain put on the prison population since the Covid epidemic. More lockdowns…less movement…no recreation whatsoever. When they threw those tablets our way, we could tell what would be next. Administration wants us in the bunk. “Give them a tablet and shut the door. Pass them an old PB&J a couple times a day.” We are slowly being compressed into our cells without any movement at all. But what Covid accomplished was it forced the prison population to look around at the people we are locked up with more closely because of the slow decline of all movement in the prisons. There are all these different social groups; homeboys…cultures…races…gangs. It takes all kinds to make up a prison population. We are forced into confined space amongst all these people and live for years on end. People come and go of course. But most are in the same cell for years at a time. There is so much stigma that surrounds prison life, it’s hard to find people you can relate to or communicate with. You don’t allow trust in prison. It’s not an option. But the human mind has to have interaction with other human minds in order to stay sane. Prison is lonely. It’s good to look for people you feel you can relate to. Whom you can confide in maybe and enjoy your time around. Those people are hard to find because it’s prison. People have to feel comfortable enough to allow someone into their space. Also, there needs to be an understanding that your business is not put out to the rest of the prison population.
There are a couple of people I reach out to. Joseph, as I’ll call him, I’ve spoken of before. I met him some six years ago. He’s mid-30s…Hispanic/Indian descent. He and I both gamble so we are at the sports TV in the dayroom a lot. We have our interactions. I notice we have mutual interests even though our backgrounds are different and so is our age. I find I enjoy the company. I look forward to the time we are around each other.
We were at the TV on Superbowl Sunday. He sat at the next table over. We spoke briefly on the game and everything seems good between us. Later though he seemed to be uncomfortable maybe. I might be reading too much into it. There’s a lot of people around so that is probably an issue for him. I try to get him to pen up with me a little. I don’t wish to make him uncomfortable. So I try to let things evolve on their own.
He came by my table in the dayroom to talk to me last night. I could see he had been getting high. He was just discussing the game as a reason to be there. It was his way of saying hello in that public setting. Later I’ll do something similar. I’ll find a reason to pull him up in order to see what he’s up to and say hello.
Then there’s Alex. Who is from Mexico. Alex is late-20s or early-30s…small built…light skinned. He stays to himself mostly or hangs with a couple of his homeboys. He lets me know he likes talking to me. He holds back if other people are around which is typical behavior in prison. He and I are from different groups and backgrounds. It’s my intention to keep the channel open with him and make him understand that our business is our own and nobody else’s.
In the free world you can say what you want to whomever you want. Here inside the walls, we communicate under the radar. We keep our discussions between two parties. The trick of it all is finding the same type of person in a prison social pool, who thinks like you think. We are all stuck on this island. You need personal interaction in this existence. We are human.
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