Rewriting My Script with Love
By Darrell Sharpe
This is my conversation about “Nonviolence”, and the benefits of it. Nonviolence requires strength for some people but even more so for us coming out of violent neighborhoods. From a very young age, most of us are taught that violence is a legitimate method, not just for resolving conflict and survival, but for acquiring wealth too. We hear lyrics by Ice Cube, “I’d rather be judged by 12 than to be carried by 6,” and also 50 Cent’s “Get Rich or Die Tryin’,” as well as the images and glorification of icons like gangsters Tony Montana and Nino Brown. Violence as a method of resolving conflict and acquiring wealth is deeply ingrained into our psyche where I am from. This is what makes nonviolence that much more difficult; this is why it requires strength. First, we have to learn why violence is not a solution. We have to understand what impact violence has, not just on the victim or our communities but on the perpetrators themselves. A person who continuously carries out acts of violence on other human beings will eventually suffer from what Frantz Fanon in the Wretched of the Earth calls… “reactionary psychoses.” These are severe psychological disorders that stem from violence. So after we learn why and how violence is not a solution, we must then deprogram ourselves, which means taking a critical and often painful inventory so that we may adopt new principles for living. Take it from me, this is not easy by any means! We have to confront the ugly truth of who we were/are, which will take us out of our own comfort-zone. But it is necessary, particularly for those of us who have been in these mind-states for 15-20 or more plus years. I need you to be mindful that we have loved ones that are awaiting our return back home; communities that are in need of our presence to demonstrate that manhood is much more than reacting violently to conflicts; a world that needs our skill-sets, talents, our love, support, and understanding. “Deprogramming” for myself meant that I had to begin by challenging the beliefs that I had acquired growing up in my neighborhood. I was a product of programming, the script that had already been laid out for me. I realized my beliefs had shaped my attitude, which shaped my actions, which shaped my habits. I’m a creature of habit, and I was in the habit of thinking that to be kind, generous, loving, etc., was weak; that to demonstrate these virtues would be subjecting myself to being preyed on or even victimized. But I had to re-assess these things because, not only were they diametrically opposed to the values that I was raised with, but also because they were in conflict with the type of future that I was beginning to really envision for myself. I began to replace the lyrics of the Ice Cubes and 50 Cents with the wisdom of The Bible, God, Jesus Christ, as well as the ancients, and the examples of our contemporary leaders as well; “Charity does not in any way decrease the wealth; and a servant who forgives, God adds to his respect; and the one who shows humility, God elevates him in the estimation of the people.” It sounded counterintuitive at first, but when practiced with pure intention, it is a formula for success, one that I have personally witnessed in many instances. Dr. King once said, “To meet hate with retaliatory hate would do nothing but intensify the existence of evil in the universe. Hate begets hate.” “If I accept this as truth, and I most certainly do, then its opposite is also true; meeting love with a greater love would only intensify the existence of love and kindness in the world, for love begets love just the same. So it is with all virtues. This is the path that I have personally taken, and it has proven extremely beneficial and has rewarded me beautifully within my own life (in more ways than one).
Halley’s Comet
By Darrell Sharpe
During my many years of serving my time in prison I’ve had the distinct pleasure and honor of seeing two lifers get released and go home. The first man that I met was over fifty-five years old and had served thirty years in prison. And to be completely honest, I rarely talked to him in passing or on the yard because he mostly kept to himself. But the other man was a close inner circle good friend of mine who I got to know well when I first arrived here at MCI-Norfolk. Anyway, we called him “Old-Skool”, and he served twenty-eight of those years before he was pardoned by the Governor. Old-Skool was a great storyteller and was often more times than not surrounded by many comrades on the yard, talking to the homies about the old times. He always had a good sense of humor and would say things like, “This is my house, and you young kids are just visiting” or constantly complain about the youngsters by saying things like, “Stinking Pepsi generation”. So when Old-Skool got the news of his pardon, he didn’t look or seem happy or even surprised at all. He told us that he believed it when it happened and no sooner. Well, a few months later that day finally happened for Old-Skool. Two men were pardoned and released from decades of prison. The day Old-Skool left, the whole yard – blacks, whites, Hispanics and even COs, a standing ovation as he walked across the yard toward the parole gate to his new found freedom. The look on Old-Skool’s face was that of a person about to face the greatest challenge in his life. I’m sharing this with you because it’s extremely rare to see a lifer going home. The way I see it, “It’s like Halley’s Comet, every once in a great while.”
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