Severely Unstable Insight Creates Incredibly Detrimental Endings
By El Presynt
A lot of people may not be of aware of this, but as human be, we are the only forms of life that will actively work against the longevity of our existence. Take a moment to think about what that means. To some degree, we understand what it means and know it to be true. When we consider our diets (pleasure over health), our exercise regime (or the lack thereof) and other poor habits that we embrace justifiably (the consumption/inhalation of chemicals, etc), it’s fair to conclude that we kill ourselves bit by bit, day by day.
Suicide is obviously the more direct and extreme of self-destructive acts. In any case, however, this underlying truth is not to be denied:
“To work against yourself, in any capacity, is the byproduct of poor mental health.”
When one has lost insight as to who they truly are, and the extent of what they are truly capable of has become so unstably distorted that the idea of self-aborting life seems plausible, is to be diagnosed with an intangible stage 4 cancer of the mind. Truth does not always prevail the war against the misunderstanding and confusion derivative of pain, unfortunately. And to think, speak and act against oneself reflects that.
Yet, like cancer is not a death sentence, restoration of the mind, body and spirit is not beyond anyone’s reach, including you. Regardless of how bad your past may have been, or how burdensome your circumstances currently are, this does not mean that your life is destined to a terrible future. For those who are dealing with the extremes of guilt, despair, disappointment, hopelessness and/or regret, I ask that you read the following quote and begin to see the possibilities that are available to you:
“Strive to learn from every moment from your past;
plan and prepared for the future you desire, and
Perform in the moment with the ending in mind.”
In most cases, trauma tends to keep us stuck in the worst moments of our lives. The idea, however, is to learn from those experiences. All a mistake or failure does is make us aware of what we need to work on. The lessons learned will help us avoid mistakes and failures in the future.
This quote was the formula I used to transform my life. And those of you who are still struggling and suffering can use it to transform your life as well. Regardless of what, during your darkest times, always keep this fact in mind:
“Regardless of your circumstances,
Nothing is Impossible.
Regardless of where you are,
You are not alone.”
In Real Time
Interviews with real men doing real time behind bars
By: Myison Ellis Guest Speaker: El Presynt
Q) Hello. EL P, and welcome to the show, “In Real Time,” where we will discuss your crime, your experiences serving real time, and your plans for the future. So, if you don’t mind, Mr. Presynt, tell the world who you are. Who is “EL Presynt?”
A) First off, thank you for having me, Son. It’s an honor. As far as who I am, man…I’ve acquired a lot of different titles throughout the course of my incarceration. I’m an author, a jailhouse lawyer, a mentor for the guys, I’m even revered in the dark world of mystic arts and the various schools of esoteric philosophies. But if I had to sum if up in a sentence (no pun intended) I would say EL P is a writer who is passionate about the quality of human life, especially those who are melanized and/or incarcerated.
Q) And, to my understanding, you were sentenced to Life plus 18 years, right?
A) Yeah. But I’ve put in 22 years thus far. So, no need to add the 18 to it anymore.
Q) Overstood. So, tell us what happened. Briefly, if you don’t mind, give us your version of events.
A) Well, to put it briefly, I was convicted of 1st degree murder based off the premise that I “premeditated” to kill a man that I didn’t know. Not even 12 hours prior to the shooting, I was beat up and robbed by 2 men. It was so bad that the ambulance was called and I was rushed to the emergency room because I had a gash above my eye that was bleeding profusely. I was so high off cocaine and alcohol that I walked out of the hospital before the doctor finished stitching the wound. A few hours later, I get a phone call telling me to pull up, and at that moment, I’m really under the impression that I’m about to see the guys who did me dirty, feel me? Instead, it was Dennis Mickens and his people. There was a lot of chaos and confusion when I got there, and not to indulge too heavy into who did and said what in those moments, but it was my hand holding my gun that killed Dennis. I never shied away from my role in his death. I definitely hold myself accountable for that man losing his life, no doubt.
Q) That’s deep. And sad. Condolences to the Mickens family. With all things considered, you don’t agree with the sentence….explain that to us.
A)I say that Life without Parole (LWOP) was an unjust sentence simply because there were a lot of factors that were involved in my decision-making that day that was either dismissed or not even brought to the attention of the courts. I wasn’t just some guy of sound mind who went to Elizabeth Miller Gardens one day, saw Dennis, and behind $450 that was allegedly owed to someone else, killed him…Though this is what I was ultimately convicted and sentenced of, that is not what happened. Aside from the fact that I had been up for almost 3 days prior t what happened to me just hours before the shooting, I had been abusing drugs and alcohol since the age of 13. Prior to me even moving down here to VA, my childhood growing up in NY was physically and emotionally abusive. My juvenile record, though absent of any felonies, is full of alcohol convictions. No lie, Bruh, between the ages of 15-19, I have like 5, maybe 6 charges f either underage possess of alcohol or being drunk in public. In other words, I had issues with substance and many traumas that went by unchecked. I’m not implying that this should excuse my behavior, especially considering the extremes of my behavior that le to the loss of a man’s life but if the unlawful killing of a person meant LWOP for everyone, then we’re having a different conversation however, this is not the standard of this country. Even my presentencing Report on a first-degree conviction calculated 25 years 9months. With all due respect, that is what I should’ve received.
Q) I understand. Let me ask you this though…what is your sentiments towards the Micken’s family? If any of them were to pull up, or if you could sit down and build with any of them, what would you tell them?
A) I would tell them the same thing I told them at my sentencing over 20 years ago – I am truly sorry for what I did to them and the pain that I have caused each of them. I took a father away from his kids, a son away from his mother and father, a brother away from his siblings. I took the life of a black man whose ancestors were probably relatives of mine, whether by blood or captivity. Trust me, I spent many of nights pondering the magnitude of my actions. And if I could somehow bring him back, or even trade places with him, I would without question.
Q) That’s peace. I personally want to know what was the turning point for you behind these walls? Because you’re not described now as you were described back then.
A) Absolutely now. “Dre” as most knew me as, was a child who was broken that believed himself to be okay only when he was inebriated. That transition, or turning point for me, was literally hitting rock bottom. And I know that sounds cliché, but having lost everything – my life and everything in it – and having caused that level of despair to Dennis’ family as well as my own, that was a low I never experienced before. I was dealing with depression and numerous bouts with suicide for years. An unsuccessful attempt one day while I was in the hole had me reflecting heavy on my existence and my purpose. “Maybe I wasn’t meant to die yet…” was where I began building myself up from. Not to mention that I had some good men around me who understood the grief I was carrying around. They took the time to talk to me, gave me encouraging, uplifting literature to read, and once I began applying some of their theories and practices into my own life (such as forgiveness, gratitude, meditation, etc.) I began to see my transformation began to unfold. I’m downplaying the intensity of the process I endured and I’m leaving out a lot of the “trial and error,” experiences because it was a lot. And old habits die hard, you know? But to gauge where I am now makes me smile because I have really come a very long way.
Q) I know that’s real! Having to stall tall after a fall like that is far from a two-page story. So, trust me, I get it. With all of that being sold, what’s to be said of your future though? I understand that you are awaiting a possible clemency from the Governor, which could possibly release you from prison. The most obvious thing people probably would like to know is what will your ties be to your community, if any? And how can you ensure that you won’t resort back to the street life if confronted by various forms of adversity?
A) Well, there are a lot of variables in play with my clemency that have to be considered. For example, I may receive it, but I might be exiled from VA. “My community,” has always been Staunton, VA, and if I’m fortunate to have the freedom to return back to it, I will use my leverage to build positive platforms and networks as opposed to destructive ones. I already involved with a nonprofiting org. called, “The Pitzer Family Education Foundation,” whose purpose is to defeat incarceration through education, as they use donations to provide scholarships to children who have incarcerated parents. That aside, I have envelopes full of intellectual property and business plans that I plan to pursue. I’ve written 4 books (aside from the 2 that already published) that I plan to publish under my own publishing company. So, aside from providing jobs and philanthropic work that I’m already involved in, my ties will, more likely, be through direct interactions with the youth, similar to free the guys, no doubt. Because there are a lot of men and women who are behind these walls that shouldn’t be. But I have no desires or passions for “being that dude,” as far as street life concerned. Gotta miss me with that one.
Q) Duly noted. What are some of the mental, physical and financial challenges you expect to be confronted with upon your release? And how do you plan to overcome them?
A) For the most part, I’ve overcome a majority of my challenges in here simply by controlling what I can control – and that is me. Controlling my thoughts, my words, and my actions. I know that dream chasing involves a lot of work and discipline. More specifically, mental fortitude and resilience. Overcoming this life sentence will, hands down, be one of the biggest challenges of my life! The many forms of adversity I had to defeat to see this fight to the end successfully, you know what I’m saying? So, what may appear as challenges to most will be nothing more that different variations of a nonfictional drama that I’ve already seen before, that’s real.
Q) Sheesh! You sound confident, EL P. And I can see why. If you can overcome incarceration, what can’t you overcome, right? Is there anything you would like to say to the world; a few words that you would like to exit on?
A) I’ll be home in a minute. And that’s not something that anyone should fear or dread. My mind is clear and my heart is pure. I’m pushing a different kind of energy, s just be n standby. If you know, you know.
Q) And that’s the end of our show, “In Real Time.” Man, I truly appreciate your time and your energy, EL P. I wish your endeavors and look forward to having your up here again.
A) Likewise, son. As soon as you drop those books, send me the link. I’m coming to get mine autographed. I ain’t playing.
Q) I got you.
My son Ellis is a journalist and writer. He is the author of “Paper vs. Crack,” where he interviews convicts addicted to Paper [K2] and exposes the dangers of smoking it. Mr. Ellis is currently on part 2, which is titled, “Paper Chase,” where he dives into the addictive side of smoking paper.
Please stay tuned for more literary work from Mr. Ellis:
Saint or Sinner;
Can’t Preach Like Peter, Can’t Pray Like Paul; and
Hellcats & Demons
These Christian Urban Novels are scheduled to be released by 2027
This is Me
By El Presynt
I am a conscious and conscience man, present in this moment of space and time;
I am simply complex; free yet imprisoned; discovered yet lost;
I am a writer by gift, a freethinker by choice, and a living spirit by design;
I am the author of, “My Infinity Mirror: The Selected Writings Of Andre Coe,” and “Life With Out Perspective: A Study Concerning The Immoral Sentencing Practices Plaguing The Commonwealth Of Virginia’s Justice System;”
I am a contributor to, “Unlocked: Art & Experiences From Inside Virginia Prisons” (Vol 2/Winter, 2023 and Vol 3/Spring, 2024);
I am an advocate for prisoners sentenced to Life Without Parole (2nd Chances 4Our 1st Timers©);
I am of basic education (GED, 2003);
I am educated in law (Presynt v. Meadows, 7:23-cv-619/Criminal Justice @Stratford Career Institute [still enrolled]);
I am of rehabilitated definition (Anger Management, Substance Abuse, Victim’s Impact, Distress Tolerance, Dialectical Therapy For Long-Term Incarceration);
I am one of thousands fighting for a second chance;
I am El Presynt, an original King from Brooklyn, New York.
FIRST-TIMERS, SECOND CHANCES, AND THIRD TRIES…?
By El Presynt
Dear Commonwealth of Virginia:
Regardless of the opinions shared in the past and the present, I do hope all is well. I had to take a few days before I sat down and text this message because I wanted to be sure that my passion and my intellect were both of perfect balance. Almost needless to say that the Second Chance bill being tabled again was a huge disappointment. It revealed to me more about our government, our society, and the perception both have towards those convicted of violent offenses. It also reveals the true intent of the delegates who were voted into office on the premise of this Second Look bill being pushed through and passed. There is no way to sugarcoat the fact that our government and our society wants us to rot and die in here. This issue regarding the Commonwealth and the victims having the power to veto a felon’s petition, along with last year’s issue regarding the attempt to pass the bill but not allowing it to be applicable to guys convicted of first degree/aggravated murder – all of it is, and has always been, smoking mirrors, especially considering that parole has been abolished for, what…30 years now? Our government and our society never had ANY intentions on passing a bill that would give a convicted murderer a second chance at hope.
Our most recent and far distant history doesn’t display a government or society receptive to any form of change that involves fair consideration for the felon sentenced to LWOP. Factors such as the evaluation of one’s rehabilitative progress, the science behind immature brain development in those who may have been adults by legal standards, but children by scientific measure, or the mere fact that the courts may have dropped the ball during one’s trial and/or sentencing. Is it so farfetched to believe that there are guys in here who are innocent, wrongly convicted or unjustly sentenced because they were represented by public defenders who all but fell asleep during the proceedings, as their unconstitutional blunders go unchecked due to filing statutes that are strictly applied to prisoners who know little to nothing about criminal law?
Each case is filled with circumstances that differ drastically from the next. That Second Look bill was an opportunity for us to get objective consideration for our whole life! From our childhood/upbringings, the circumstances of our cases, to the errs of our trials and sentencing – facts that may not have been presented and information that may not have been considered, all the way down to time spent incarcerated, how that time was utilized, progress made, accomplishments achieved, etc. But we’re not dealing with a government or a society that cares about any of us any more than it cares about the dynamics of incarceration – the ancestry of this state being the motherland of slavery and the accepted attitude of such principles; the corporations that make millions of dollars off the incarcerated and their loved ones, and this overwhelming need to punish, yet this dismissive sentiment towards the restoration of one’s character to a condition of good.
Whether you want to admit it or not, it has never been about Justice as much as it has been about the almighty dollar. Verdicts have never been about an accurate, impartial judgement as much as it has been about securing a conviction. Truth is, it’s only about wins and losses, and checks and balances. That’s all it has ever been about. Prison and incarceration are big business, and stockholders have every intention on protecting their interests…but at who’s cost? If you knew, without a doubt, that Justice was just another form of commerce within this capitalistic structure, would it even matter to you? If you knew of one who has been convicted and sentenced to LWOP who is actually innocent, an outcome derivative of a prosecuting attorney who was able to get an overburdened public defender to sell out his client and score another conviction, would you even care? Or what about post-conviction remedies such as the Writ Of Habeas Corpus that have extremely short time caps that are strictly applied to indigent offenders who, in most cases, don’t even know what their constitutional rights are?! Would it even matter to you to know that if one fails to file that writ within the 1-year statute of limitations, he’s S.O.L.? If so, to what extent? Enough to say, “that’s unfortunate…” but not enough to throw rocks at the monster that is our Justice System. What a shame it is to know that our society isn’t even aware or knowledgeable of the system that they believe so righteously in.
Notwithstanding the fact that I’ve been incarcerated for decades, it’s worth mentioning that I haven’t been a bystander in the constant flow of time. I’ve studied the constructs of these institutions of confinement; the laws that govern them, the unspoken dynamics of prison culture, and the effects this place has on our spiritual, physical and mental health. I write about it, both therapeutically and informatively. I speak about it. I listen to the many stories of those who’ve been conquered by it. I’ve even tried to find examples of this cemetery of live human beings in nature, to no avail. Ask yourself what creature captures and imprisons its own kind for a duration that is without end? That brief pause of silence says a lot about our government, our society and ourselves.
Imagine a society absent incarceration, not so much because of what it is and what it signifies, but because its existence strategically becomes unnecessary. This flawed, broken and corrupt system has always been what it is and does exactly what it has been designed to do. However, I believe that if we, as a people of all races, of all ages, of all walks, beliefs and economic classes began to care more about each other, this system could not find one weakness of us to exploit. Concepts such as accountability, grace, rehabilitation, unity and forgiveness would have greater meaning if we changed our perspective about our neighbors and tried discovering connections instead of searching for differences. It’s by way of our own ignorance that this system has any power at all.
Nevertheless, this will be the second time this Second Chance bill got tabled. Maybe third time’s a charm..? Perhaps. For those who are innocent, wrongfully convicted or unjustly sentenced, had it not been so, the victims would’ve had to accept Justice in her true essence – blindfolded and scales balanced. So no, this past tabling of the bill had very little to do with the victims having a power to veto petitioner’s request for Second Chance review. This was solely about us first-timers being denied the opportunity of acquiring the Second Chance that we’ve earned and not giving this system the pleasure of requesting a third one.
From the depths of my disappointment and frustration, I still wish you well.
El Presynt
Who Am I?
By El Presynt
I look into my eyes,
In search of who I am,
Only to find,
Everything and everyone,
But myself and nothing…
Who am I,
If I am Black?
Am I an African?
Am I an American?
An African-American, perhaps?
Each an impossibility.
I am Black because,
From where I’ve come,
Is as blank as the space in between thoughts.
And where I am housed,
I am not welcome.
Who am I,
Prior to my enslavement?
Who am I,
On the land of my enslavement?
“I can’t breathe…”
Because this is not my air.
Like this place is not my home.
I am lost in time…
Who am I?
I look into my soul,
In search of who I am,
Only to find,
Everything and everyone,
But myself and nothing…
Who am I,
If I am not free?
A prisoner,
Obviously.
But am I a convict,
An offender,
An inmate,
Even if I am not incarcerated?
Am I a villain,
A predator,
A monster,
Before I even utter a word?
Who am I,
If I am not a man?
A slave.
A nigger.
A Person.
If I beg to differ,
I am told to “Stop resisting!”
Here, I am a dark blemish,
On a light surface;
A black mark,
To be cleaned white;
A beast,
To be killed dead.
Liberty, Justice, Equality,
Is not meant for those,
Who look like me.
Who are dark like me.
Who are black like me.
Not easily seen.
And even more complex to understand.
Since the day of my birth,
I’ve been lost in time…
Who am I?
#R.I.P. Eric Gardener & George Floyd
“Nine times out of ten, in the arts as in life, there is actually nothing to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.”
-Henry Louis Mencken (1880-1956)
American editor, critic, lexicographer
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Brueklen Wilson-Coe
September 26, 2020 at 10:11 amThis raw!! I like itt
Tranetta
April 10, 2020 at 3:05 pmI love it babe ♥️ #MsCoe