Tears on a Tabletop (A Song)
By Austin Shepherd
chorus
these tears on a tabletop
I’m wondering where they are today
five more minutes of a visit and they bowed their heads and started to pray
when its all said and done he’s dressing out and just walking away
but them tears on the tabletop I’m wonderin where they are today
intro
you were always around me from when I first doubted
and went away proudly in my mistakes
you an momma prayed about me and wrapped your arms around me
when u came
through my heart brakes and worries, denials and discourage ,
the miles apart, I’m learning a new way
that Ive loved you through it all , I’m a rebel ure a boss and I’m glad u made me the same
chorus
but these tears on a table top , I’m wondering where they are today
five more minutes of a visit and they bowed their heads and started to pray
when its all said and done he’s dressing out and just walking away
but these tears on a table top I’m wondering where they are today
end
God’s Love
By Austin Shepherd
holy water drippin like a faucet
evaporated tears are all the raindrops fallin
if god is always thinking bout our problems
imagine all the ways he’s figured out to solve them
if my god be for it who can stop it?
anointed in ure cause when your thoughts get to walking
they a sk me where I’m from and where I got it
alignment with the word spitting truth like a prophet
holy water dripping like a faucet
humble meek and mourning bout some spiritual losses
in paradise with u like the theif on the cross is
merciful peacemakers never getting exhausted
shining forth brightly like a light in the darkness
the ultimate goal in life is genuine love,
keep your hearts focused on the things of above
feign for god wholly like u feign for the drugs
and know that nothing separates us, its what christ did for us
gods love
to know the resurrection and the life and the light
when noone else around u he is right by ure side
keep the faith and progress every day till u die
And get caught up in the rapture spirits rising to Christ
gods love
so what shall we say then to these things that hurteth?
for I know your future power love and purpose
glory honor peace to every man that worketh
and know that with god there’s no respect of persons
father I thank thee that thou hast always heard me
and I knew that thou hast heard me always
every minute every hour every second that’s all day
always
I know u prolly think u don’t deserve it
but keep on pressin on towards that mark thats perfect
cuz he’s sounding every depth that’s on the surface
and every mans heart he’s always searching
gods love
to know the resurrection and the life and the light
when noone else around you he is right by your side
keep the faith and progress every day till u die
and get caught up in the rapture spirits risin to Christ
gods love
Granny
By Austin Shepherd
I thank you for the breeze God
the trees god
at ease god
and for the pain that uve eased in my life I believe god
I thank u for the sight god
ability to see u god
I need ya
and for the pain that uve eased in my life
I believe ya
I thank u for the speech god
ability to speak it god
I need ya
and for the pain that uve eased in my life
I believe ya
and for the salvation, health, and the service of the lord
a sound mind, wisdom of gods word and joy,
peace,
a happy family,
plenty of deliverance, sowers, reapers , of the faithful,
generational blessings ,
honesty, clear paths and servitude
I reckon if we bound by them laws,
they can loose those bounds
but if were bound by you
whose gonna loose us now?
I thank you for the breeze god
the trees god
at ease god
and for the pain that uve eased in my life
I believe ya
I thank you for the sight god
ability to see ya god
I need ya
and for the pain that uve eased in my life
I believe ya
I thank u for the speech god
ability to speak it god
I need ya
and for the pain that uve eased In my life
I believe ya.
Inflection
By Austin Shepherd
mingling with the prose of you
running through my mind
I’m belittled by the negligence of leaving u behind
or trying
and settled by the thought of u residing right beside
I really am dissolved in you , no doubt of reason why
no separation undergoing , always eye to eye
so freely in the multitudes, but singled out inside
I feel use power growing nigh, how its sposed to be no lie
translate me up to walk with u
and Send me back to die
no finished with the ends of things, beginning on the why
in devotion every morning , truth and comfort in these lines
where the most is fewest mentioned in this program uve designed.
how would it be of all the love for u left out?
wake up in a dream of reality on a low cloud
no longer what it was, what it oughta be
no more test now
sometimes life aint easy in the stresses of the long range
distance playing with the life u had and can’t reclaim
daydreaming repetitions in the cell projecting shames
tired of the punishment of sifting through the past things reframed
memories of the once was, once had, always will be
steering through the feelings of what can be again
don’t u see me now through the frost that’s on the ceiling
frozen in the time of when we held each others hands
thirsty for the droplets of the melt off that’s revealing
opportunities that matter most, and Jesus lettin us in
someday I’ll just enter and find everything that will be
to start over where I left off in my memories
Your Story
By Austin Shepherd
they told ure story
and I see u apologized
but u struggle
cuz what they think ure going through, its really for them doubled
wading through the residue of u
bursting the bubbles
digging through an unrenewed and let down excuse
I see ure troubled but u persevere and carry through
addicted to the hustle
just be careful what u conjure up
there’s demons In a huddle
and in ure convictions
no medium will remove u from thine own afflictions
for u is a good watchmen preaching the prediction
for thus saith the lord I could use u for ure remission
an intercession
to guide u on along in the midst of ure inner sessions
and to second the declaration of repentance from ure transgressions
from correction to encouragement in retrospection
through death and the formal announcements of resurrection
quit securing favors Rollin dice and always bettin
remain as loyal to GOD As u were to chasing paper and neglectin
because I see they told ure story and I see u apologized but u struggled
Something Right
By Austin Shepherd
connect me to the life that u want me to have
I am perfect in you
i am perfect. i’m you.
I’d rather say I’m sorry than to say that I’m sorry
I’ll try to spare u now from reading the same story
and redefine mine while I’m giving u all the glory
cause it ain’t nothing but youthfulness grasping for maturity
every time u wake up in a double minded addiction
I pray for ure diagnosis and a sobriety prescription
and that you take it and realize what u been missing
without it
and escape from the bonds of the chemical Imbalance
and be connected to the life that I want you to have
you are perfect in me
you are perfect. your me.
scrapping for so long taught me lives can be salvaged
being in here so long taught me how to live without it
and some of those times apart from u made u proudest
and so!e of those actions away speak the loudest
every time that we missed apart we were together
in a memory ,in a thought ,in a voice, in a letter
I’m resting in peace now knowing that I’m better
because time, once my enemy ,without face or form
has been shaped ,embodied , and with grace born
again.
connecting all the lives that are wanted to have.
they are perfect In us.
we are perfect. we’re us
Remember!
By Austin Shepherd
sometimes to remember I forget
everything and everyone I ever knew
paint on another layer over the chipped last one
and when it dries and cures chip that one too
lay beside the painted wall and forget to remember I forgot u
feel u near and smile inside
when I roll over and close my eyes
and in my mind syllabalize the words to describe who
u are…
anyone who welcomes themselves
in the spirit
in my realms
in my mind and in my cell
becomes the words generated
to somehow tell me I thought about them.
spoke of them
invoked and embodied them!
who does this for me to make me exist still yet?
am I… ? because I’m thought of?
I’ll remember myself forever!
Pehcu
By Austin Shepherd
the sum of it all is I don’t wanna be here
but god wants me to be
that’s why I need to
say to you now what I need to say to me
but not as often as u
would even want to hear
I pray that this life would only compensate the freedom
and the weight of the burdens that only u could bear
then maybe ure purpose for always only leaving
would be the journey embarked on to bring u near
subtracting the love for u would only leave the fear
of relearning how to brave the same hate
without placing a weight on my chest
they say that after every hardship is rest
you carried me through the chaos
put order in my breath
lead me to see the differences between acceptance and respect
a union of forgiveness
u surround me circumspect
at every angle are your angels encamped around me to reflect
that I am in liaison with god
attached to the ascending authorities on high
understanding to quickly with to broad of a sympathy
and all this is signed sealed in blood
a new sensitivity for divinity
new notion of the enemy
patience entrusted to hold control undeveloped
maybe its old but newly resettled
taken bestowed regiven disheveled
broken and shattered united replastered
I’m taking a look at you, Pehcu
Between Words
By Austin Shepherd
anchored by a freedom so fathomed but frayed
moved by an affection no longer escaped
I see u in the distance looking out into space
like there’s nothing to prove but the outcomes of fate
enshrouded ensnared in so many ways
I can’t escape from the look in your eyes or your face
not a trace of the fullness of feeling so empty
can be found In the truth of the lie of your shame
and as the faceless wind animates me with grace
like the daydream replayed on a ray in the shade
I’m drawn back to this body exhale and exclaim
and continue with doing my time
because between words is a space by design
to find in your life a break from the mind
(Oh oh) Wish You Could See Me Now
By Austin Shepherd
caught in a rainstorm its all coming down
I’m lost in your ways somehow
(oh oh) I push the memory aside
and realize the comforts so closest to life
the fires of the furnace of a frozen mind
relaxing in the shelter of dimlit sigh saying
(oh oh) I wish I could see you now
a part of you lingers until I get out
of this repeating occurrence always delaying
the loathsome abandonment of your presence staying
(oh oh) am I just a prayer in her mind?
a sky in a window?
a letter to sign?
a bought innuendo?
a smell to an eye?
(oh oh) wish we could see us now
without the within and within the without
two lives in the end of a long wilted drought
sprouting up as we search through the virgin ground
(oh oh) I can see us now
caught in a rainstorm its all coming down
So Wide Awake
By Austin Shepherd
I’ve spent the most time in my life just thinking
and only ever noticed how the light would just fall
and in my other life would arise new meaning
like all the other times what the light would shine for
its been a long time since my eyes cried freely
and all them tears dried in the struggles ignored
now their recognized in the raindrops falling
evaporations of the pain that I’ve solemnly endured
how do we fall so wide awake while many others dream?
they’re with us sublimely now…
and how do we fall so wide awake among many other things?
they’re with us sublimely now.
defeating every bit of circumstantial evidence held by
the disbelieving ordinary lost and swallowed up minds
is the love in which you confer by degree simply
and the faith and grace given that we’re carried through by
in the awakening from sleep and dreams and all that is a mystery
is the revelations of a life with u eternal in your eyes
with sight and touch and smell and taste through currents i can hear you
another energy, transfiguration, being redefined
so how do we fall so wide awake while many others dream ?
they’re with us sublimely now
and how do we fall so wide awake among many other things?
they’re with us sublimely .
life and death
By Austin Shepherd
death is when you hang up life is when u answer
death is the technological veil through which we gander
death is the question where’s your sting? life’s the answer
life’s a mere few feet from a sheer drop, remission of cancer
death is a nosebleed that won’t stop till you lift your chin up
life is the evaporation of a teardrop from the wind blowing in the window
a brainstorm till you finish up with sin, wronging your kinfolk
life the operation of watching it fall from the eye where is begins tho
death is the speculation of, once again, doing nothing bout it
death is a period that ends a sentence, like Ivon.
life, a capitol letter indented in two dimensions when I’m writing
death is the radius of the compass of life circumscribing
life the plumb and the level of your horizon
life is repentance its incentive is death
to live life more abundantly and endlessly blessed
and In the resurrection, Christ, his image a test
to be passed, raised, advanced exalted and kept
fully alive in a life with the keys to the death
if you decide, is it gone be a right or a left?
a breath, this is the key to life and death
electric beats of a heart in a chest
with a spark from the best
ministering the life beget
a word, energetic sound waves formed flesh
given respect
death is facilitating comprehension of at best
life is the prevention of confusion in it, and rest
and death is what we get when we ain’t given any less,
than life.
leaps of faith
By Austin Shepherd
taking leaps of faith with the grace ,honestly making mistakes, approaching a life taking shape of a smiling face with the craziness of clandestine fame, and enablement untamed ,being trained by the train and tracked by the game played , its all I can ask just to wake up and breathe for another day, sit back and laugh someday its gonna pay, chart a course for a path that’s straight zig zag and amazing,just for today and wake from the day dream!
god please help me
By Austin Shepherd
compounding the rejection and separation with Satan, it seems that exercising demons never ceased to amaze me, searching for valid reasons to escape the matrix, became the preconditions and reasons outlining cases, the personal decisions preconditions and or beliefs, with protracted abstinence , self-inflicted it always seems, left unfinished, unreplenished, can’t wake up from the dream, so gone absconding from a life fit for a king, detained in a semicircle of 180 degrees, held in bondage of responses to life’s questions and subconscious schemes, it all seems crazy but wean make it together all of us as a team, give it all up wash it in the blood if you know what that means singing god will u please help me! change is important because without it wed be on the same track, entwined in t nooses of the vows that we promised and can’t take back, standing stable on the platform of honesty keeps us breathing, you can’t kick out from me what I alone believe in, this is that love arrayed self-explained rearranged amazement, freedom from forgiveness what you’ve forgiven I’ve forgave it true repentance is a moment in which one must stay in detained in your new ways life changed and I must say again god will you please help me? double taking looking around always vectoring looking or that perfect angle tryina find the better me, all in the dictionary up in the word trapped in my reveries, cognitive dissonance within a pictureless reckless parody, my mind was itching for a vision of certain clarity, she. for my loyalty special favor was granted scaring me, upon a chamber in my heart started an electric beat, and my contention left me a part to read where I couldn’t speak, it was so continuous strenuous even to try to breathe, following scriptures bonded indentured to my newfound inner peace now I wish life on the death of my lifeless enemies god will u please help me
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