Lust Not Love
By Zachary Brubaker
I fell madly in love with you, you had total control.
Let you consume me, my freedom you stole.
You made me feel creative and inspired.
In reality I was wore down, sick and tired.
You were readily available, and extremely cheap.
I kept you a secret, I was very discreet.
I tried you once, that was all it took.
I was off the races, you had me hooked.
I would ingest you, inhale you, even put you in a syringe.
I’d use you for days, we’d go on a binge.
You were so intense and always felt so right.
I would use you 24/7, day and night.
You made me feel like I traveled to the moon,
When really I hadn’t even left my room.
A nasty habit, so hard to quit.
Now I’ve lost it all, I see your sick.
Evil in a bag, a powder form of the devil.
Never again, will I stoop to your level.
I am done with you and not coming back.
From a recovering addict, my name is Zach.
A Few Steps in My Shoes
By Zachary Brubaker
In the beginning, I started using you for energy and fun
You made me feel all warm and fuzzy, like the morning sun.
You gave me confidence, made me feel like I had purpose.
I’d pay whatever the price for your, to me you were worth it.
But look at me now, writing this from a cell.
You ended up costing me everything, put me through hell.
I was convinced you made me happy. I thought you were great.
I never would have dreamed, you’d be my biggest mistake.
For a little bit of dust, that comes in a tiny little bag.
You slowly claim your victims, taking everything they have.
Who would have ever guessed you were so powerful and mighty.
We met at a party, you were on a mirror
screaming come on and try me.
I may be in prison but I’m finally meth free,
But if I told you what it cost me, you’d find it hard to believe.
I will overcome this addiction, I know I will make it.
I refuse to let this devil in a bag, be what breaks me.
One second, one minute, one day at a time.
I’m taking back this life, this life that is mine.
The World Through Addicted Eyes
By Zachary Brubaker
Looking back at my life and my selfish ways,
Usually walking blind, trying to not suffocate.
With my priorities is disarray and not seeing straight
Living a life full of self loathing, and lots of hate.
Dark paths full of trials and tribulations,
Surrounded by temptations and bad situations
Leaving family and friends worried and waiting
Feeling full of self-pity, suicide was often what I was contemplating.
Now seeking peace and putting my faith in Jesus Christ.
I’ve seen miracles, the fact I’m still alive
Living dangerous and flirting with death and the reaper,
I was lost in space, out of touch with my keeper.
Grasping at straws. I was screaming for help,
I was at rock bottom, no longer caring about myself.
Injecting deadly amounts of drugs into my veins.
Desperate and wishing to hear my head ring.
Self-centered and carelessly swerving down a dark road.
Pushing myself to the limit, just trying to unload.
Chasing a high that in reality no longer exist,
Losing touch with everything just trying to get my fix.
This time is different I’ve literally lost it all,
Wondering where I’ll end up if I take another fall,
Time to stop this madness and inflicting all this pain.
No more being star in this sad, lonely game.
Surrendering all my worries to my father Jesus Christ,
Having faith and hope he will get me through these nights.
I now realize how short life is and the time that is lost,
Time to remember his sacrifice and hanging on the cross.
I long for peace and being able to smile,
Time to start enjoying life and being a better father to my child,
So many blessings are starting to come my way.
I can finally look ahead to brighter days.
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