8 Rocz Chapter One: Pushed Off the Porch

Fort Dix, New Jersey, is a place where people know each other by name, and the environment is as safe as can be. Neighbors are watering their green grass, greeting each other like, “Hello William!” “Why, hello there, Harry!” Paperboys riding bikes, while throwing newspapers to big houses. People jogging with their dogs, sprinkler’s sprinkling the green, green grass on every yard. Two or three cars in every driveway, police patrolling crime free streets, and every house has a nice source of income. It is a good place to live, but also a place where a lot are blind to the real world, blind to struggles, blind to a lot of things. Blind because the green, green grass covers the view of life. A sunny day cannot be fully appreciated if you never made it through a rainstorm. Danger cannot even be spotted, due to being surrounded by a safe blanket every day of their living. This place is like a wonderland, a safe zone. Some call it the suburbs. To me, it is going to become a very far, far-away memory. 

I had a sister named Charlotte. She was half Korean and half Hispanic. She was a pretty good sister to me. We had our arguments and fights, but what two siblings do not? My father was a Hispanic named Omar. He was in the army, so we moved around a lot. His occupation was why we were living on the Fort Dix army base. He was a great father! He took us fishing, on vacations, family getaways, and taught all of us a lot. My mother was Korean, and her name was Chun Lee. She was a model for Fashion Fair and Estee Lauder Cosmetic’s. She was always a mad woman for some reason that I could never put my finger on. She would always buy my sister gifts but would not buy me too much. I was no hater though; I was happy that my sister was happy. Plus, my father would be the one to buy me things. Then there was my best friend in the whole wide world! His name was BeeGee Littlebit. That was his full name for real! Well, that’s what his doggie papers said. He was a real small and super cute all white toy poodle. He had all types of tricks. One of his greatest tricks, a talent I wonder where he got it from, was if you were eating, BeeGee would look at you with the saddest look on his adorable doggie face! Tears would appear in his eyes as he stared you down, and you would be completely helpless to his super pet doggie powers! Before you knew it, you done gave this itty-bitty poodle all of your food! While BeeGee had most of your main course, you would be stuck eating the sides and vegetables. Later on, you would be searching for a snack to eat from still being hungry, and BeeGee would show up again with his same cute face doggie tricks! I loved my little poodle! 

My name is Stevin R. Lada, but people called me Stevie. I was a short, brown-eyed, light-skinned boy that wanted to do nothing but laugh and have fun. I made straight A’s in school. I played soccer, had friends, but although everything looked normal, I did not feel normal. I always felt different from others, but, at the same time, I could not figure out why I felt like this. Was it in my mind? Well, I promised myself that I would keep this book fully honest, so some things I must tell you so that everything will make sense. Here is one of those things I have to tell you. My sister was a big ol’freak! A super freak! (Sorry Charlotte!) She used to do the nasty with so many guys, and when I say nasty, I mean nasty! She liked the ones with long hair, ripped jeans, and heavy metal t-shirts. ‘Headbangers’ is what they were called back in those days. Charlotte wanted to be an air-headed freak, literally. Her idol was a character named Kelly Bundy from this show called, “Married with Children.” Some of you may not be familiar with this show, it was from the early nineties. Basically, this K. Bundy was a freak that had guys coming over to smash and dash, just like my sister! She was so air headed that she got away with almost everything. My sister wanted to be exactly like her, and she did a really good job of it too, SMH. That is what was going on in my sister’s life. As for me, I loved to ride skateboards, and I was pretty good too. In this suburb, the streets were so smooth, that you could ride a skateboard and just be gliding away! It’s like you would be flying down these pothole free streets, these wonderland streets, with not a worry in the world. Around this time, I was about eleven. Me and my sister used to look at our dad’s pornography magazines and stuff. I was already liking girls, and they liked me too. I found a VHS tape with a porno movie on it. I used to put it in the VHS player, set the numbers to zero, watch some of it, then rewind it back to zero so no one would know I watched it. It had me wanting to do things to these girls that liked me.

I met a girl named Donna. She was older than me and from what I heard, she was already giving the guys her goods. I liked her, and she used to come to my locker to flirt with me, telling me she liked my hair. My hair has always been kind of awesome. One day she told me to not go to school, and for me to call her so she could go to my house. I was so excited! I could not wait to try and do some of the things I have been seeing on that porn movie. I even had an old condom I have been saving for months, waiting for the day I could use it. I left it in my jeans one time, and it was washed in the washer. It still looked good to me though, but what did I know. Remember readers, I was a straight A student. I stayed out of trouble, and I never gave anybody any problems, so for me to pretend that I was sick so I would not have to attend school, was no problem at all. That next morning, all I did was cough a little bit, and tell my parents that I did not want to go to school. It was no problem, and my dad insisted that I stay home to rest. I was even given orange juice and cough drops. When the house was empty, I got up and called Donna. She answered on the first ring, and both of us were happy to talk to each other. She said she was about to leave to head over to my house. I jumped in the shower and got ready. I even brushed out BeeGee’s fur so he could look nice for Donna. I cleaned up the house some and looked out the window waiting for Donna to show up. She came down my street riding a bike. She had on earmuffs and a purple Lakers jacket. She always looked good to me, and I was crazy about her. She came to the house with all smiles. I told her to put her bike in the back of the house, so my parents would not see it. We went inside, and with me being a good host, I offered her something to drink, something to snack on, and we went to the living room. She instantly fell in love with BeeGee. His doggie powers worked on anybody, and everyone! Donna and I were sitting on the couch, so I decided to use the oldest trick in the book. The old tickling trick! You tickle a girl in hopes to make her smile and laugh, while maybe also getting a nice feel or rub. A sneak-a-touch! Sure enough, I felt a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and I sneaked my hand up her shirt. She did not stop me, and I have never been so excited in my whole young life! I was all up in her clothing, and when I started to lift up her shirt, she did not stop me. I finally got her headlights out, and she told me, “What are you going to do now?”

Now readers, please remember that I have to tell you certain things for some things to make sense later in this story. When I had Donna’s shirt up, she asked me what I was going to do next. For some strange reason, I told her that I was going to tie her up! I don’t know why I said this, I don’t know where I got it from, but I guess I was just born a freak! Donna said, “You are going to tie me up? What are you going to tie me up with?” This house I lived in, it had curtains that had matching ropes to tie the ends to keep the curtains open. I grabbed one of the ropes, and I tied up her hands. With her shirt still pulled up, I told her, “Let’s go to my sister’s room, her room has a lock on the door.” Donna and I went to Charlotte’s room, and I know my sister’s bed was perfect for this type of thing. I laid Donna down, untied her hands, pulled out the rusty old condom, and did the super nasty. I really did not know what I was doing, or even know what I was suppose to feel. I was just in jack rabbit mode pounding away, and then I started to get a sensation of me needing to pee I stopped. Donna kissed me and asked me if I was done. I told her I was, but while we were getting dressed, I knew that there was more to this. I wanted to tell her so badly that I wanted to do it again, but I was too shy. We talked for a while, and played with BeeGee, but then she had to go. We kissed and said our goodbyes. As I watched her leave, I knew I was going straight to get that VHS porno to see what I was missing. As I was watching this movie, I did a little bit of rubbing here, and a little bit of massaging there, and then I started to feel that feeling I felt when I was with Donna! I could not take it anymore, so I let out this pee feeling, but it was not pee! I shot this newly discovery all over my mother’s imported fancy Korean carpet! I knew my life would never be the same after this experience, but for now, I had to clean up this rug. This was not something I could clean up easily either. Every time I wiped the carpet this way, all the bristles went that way. When I wiped it that way, all the bristles went this way. I knew I was going to be in so much trouble. I could not even try to hide it, it was right in front of the television! I tried to clean it up as best as I could, but it was no use. As soon as my parents came home, I yelled out, “BeeGee messed up the carpet!” I promise you this, reader, BeeGee looked up at me like, “No, you didn’t just lie on me! ” BeeGee got the worst spanking ever! I heard every yelp and every cry as he was beat. I felt horrible. After BeeGee’s whooping, I went to go look for him. I found him under my bed, and he was looking at me like, “How could you do me like that?” He hit me with the old sad eyes, and I had to make this right with my little best friend. I went to go and get his snacks, and I gave him a whole bunch of them. He wagged his little cotton ball of a tail and forgave me. Dogs are awesome! 

The next day at school, all types of girls were coming up to me, and asking me if it was true that I did it with Donna. Girls I did not even know were asking me if I really tied up Donna and had sex with her. I asked them who was telling them all this, and they all said that Donna told them. It was crazy because I had all types of girls, older girls, wanting to have sex with me. I could not comprehend this, but I was not complaining in any type of way either. During this time, a guy named Chris moved to New Jersey, and only two streets over from where I lived. He was from the Bronx in New York, and he was so different than anyone I have ever known. We met at the bus stop to go to school, and to be honest, this was a player-looking guy. He was a debonair type of dude, a real lady’s man. All the girls liked him, but do you know what he was telling me? Chris was telling me that all the girls liked me! He said, “Yeah, they are all talking about you and Donna, how you tied her up or something.” I was like, “Uh, yeah, I messed around with Donna.” Chris and I became best of friends! That was my partner right there! He was so cool! He used to put all types of hair products in his hair. Gel, grease, mousse, even lotion! He had it all fancy and Rico suave style like. I started to have my hair all styled up too! He wore baggy clothes, and said that it was New York style. He had Timberland boots that matched whatever he wore. I told my good old dad about the things Chris had, and asked if he could buy me some. He did. Now Chris and I were pulling all the girls at school, and spending time with them at Chris’s. His dad gave him half of the house. It was just Chris and his dad in these big military issued houses we lived in. Everything was okay at home. Sometimes my grandmother Memo would come to visit. I loved my granny so much! She was really nice to me, and so proud that I made straight A’s in school. She acted like I was passing a college course out of Harvard or something. I had a few aunts and uncles that would come to visit. I had this one aunt named aunt Sophia that would call me on birthdays, and at Christmas time. She would buy me things that I wanted on those special days and mail it to me. She was really nice, but she lived very far, far away. She lived in Texas. A lot of girls would ask me what race I am. I would let them know that I was Hispanic and Korean. 

One day, Chris told me that some girls were going to his house that night. I told him that I would have to sneak out of the house, but that I would be there. That night, I sneaked out of the house, and rode my skateboard over to Chris’s. Later, after I left, I headed back home, and as I got closer to my house, I saw that every single light was on! Kitchen lights, living room lights, bedroom lights, bathroom lights, garage lights, porch lights, and even the street lights were on! I knew I was busted, and there was no way to get around this. I could see everybody at the dinner table waiting for me. I could even see BeeGee sitting by the table, while he ate some type of snack. I decided to face the fire head on, and go to the front door. As soon as I walked in, all the yelling started! I was in so much trouble! I was hit, I was yelled at, and they said I was grounded forever! During all the yelling and hitting, it slipped out that my sister is the one that told on me! I was so upset, but hurt also. How could my sister do that to me?

The next day, I could not wait to talk to my sister after school. When school was let out, I confronted my sister. I asked her why she told on me, when all I do is keep look out for her while she has sex with long haired rock star looking dudes. She said that when she went to my room, I was not there, so she got worried, and told our mom and dad. I was like, “What?! I know you knew I was at Chris’s house!” Charlotte stuck to her story, telling me that she was worried about me. I said, “The next time you have some heavy metal headbanger in your room banging you, I am telling mom and dad!” She said, “You better not.” I told her that I was, just one time because thanks to her, she had me grounded forever. This argument we were having was the worst argument we ever had. We were so mad at each other. I was upset that since I was grounded, I could not see this beautiful white girl that I really liked named Christian. I told her again that I was going to tell on her. She got so mad, she yelled out a shocking surprise! She screamed, “That’s why you are adopted!” I was not sure if I heard her right, so I asked her, “What did you say?” She said, “You are adopted, and I am not your real sister. Dad is your uncle. Mom is your aunt, and your real mother is aunt Sophia.” Aunt Sophia is the one that always bought me things on my birthday and Christmas. This was so shocking to me! I knew I did not look Korean! The only one that kept it real with me was my itty-bitty little poodle BeeGee! Let me tell you something readers. This is a heck of a bomb to drop on a little eleven-year-old, about to be twelve. This would be a bomb to drop on a grown adult! I did not want this to be real. I didn’t want it to be real so badly, that I never brought it up again with my sister, or anybody. I didn’t even tell my best friend Chris. I didn’t tell not one person, hoping it would just go away. I remember sitting at the dinner table every night, feeling like a real-live Martian. I had no idea where I was from, and I knew I had felt different for a reason. Every single night of my life living with these people I thought were my real parents, we had dinner at the table, and we each had our own seat. Now that I knew I was adopted, I remember looking across at the guy I thought was my biological father, now knowing that he was not. I still loved him. I looked at my Korean mother, and now I knew why she was always mean to me, I was not her real son. I still loved her too. Nothing really changed though. Chris and I still kicked it at his house, still doing what we did.

One day, this girl named Jennifer and I were talking, and she said, “When are you going to come to my house?” I was like, “Shoot, what is your address?” I told her that I would go over there as soon as possible. She said, “Why don’t you just ride my bus home with me after school?” I looked at her pretty eyes and said, “I’ll meet you at the bus.” After school, I jumped on her bus and went home with her. She told me that her parents were not going to be home until late the next night. I met her little brother, raided her refrigerator, and then we did the deed. The nasty time! Only that this time, it was nasty for real! I was not going to add this part, but why not? I told myself that I would tell the story just how I remember it. This girl’s honey pot smelled so bad, it was crazy! It smelled like dumpster juice, steamed cabbage, and fish mixed all together! It was horrible! I still did the deed though. I always liked her, but after, I was on my tip toes trying to wash the scent off of my junk in her sink! I still can’t believe it smelled like that! Believe me, it was so bad, I am actually writing about it decades later! I stayed the night there.

The next day, I wore one of her brothers’ shirts, and went to school riding her bus. I went to class, and I sat next to Slimmy Jimmy. We were talking, and I noticed that the teacher kept looking over in our direction. She kept looking, so I thought we were talking too loudly. I lowered my voice to a whisper, and kept talking to Jimmy. This teacher would not stop looking at me, and she said, “Lada, S. R. Lada?” I tell her, “Present ma’am! ” I was thinking she was doing roll call or something. Jimmy and I kept talking, but this teacher would not stop looking at me like I was doing something wrong. Again, she said, “Stevin R. Lada?” I tell her, “Right here ma’am.” This lady stands up, runs to the door, and starts yelling down the hallway saying, “He is here! He is in my classroom! He is here in my class!” Slimmy Jimmy and I look at each other like, “What the heck!” Jimmy scooted his chair away from me when teachers start piling up inside our classroom. They all came toward me telling me things like, “It’s okay son. Glad you are here son. Good to see you son.” Someone was steadily rubbing my back and telling me, “You’re not in trouble son, you’re not in trouble son, you’re not in trouble son.” He said it so many times, I just knew I was in trouble! Slimmy Jimmy would not even look at me, and even acted like he didn’t know me. The school intercom said,”Mr. Lada! Mr. S. R. Lada! Please report to the principal’s office. Everyone in class said, “Ohhhhh!” Five or six teachers escorted me to the office. I get there and my father Omar was there in his army fatigues. As the principal was leaving, he shook my hand and told me that he was glad that I was okay. Readers, an eleven-year-old boy did not come home from school. This was before AMBER ALERTS, this was when it was a MISSING CHILD ALERT. This was a serious issue. People were worried about me, and did not know what happened to me. Only if they knew that the reason I did not come home, was so I could spend some time with some girl. My sister was the one that told my parents that she told me I was adopted. She said that was probably why I did not come home. I went inside the office, and my dad told me that he knew that I knew about my real mother. He said that he is going to take me to Texas to meet her, that same day!

Readers, up to this very day, this very second, I still feel stupid for not telling my father that I did not runaway because of that. That I did not even runaway, I just went to some girl’s house. We talked, well, he talked and I was just quiet. He told me that Chun Lee packed all my clothes for me. All my shorts and t-shirts because it is hot in Texas. I did not know we were leaving right then and there. We left the school, and the Chevy Blazer was waiting outside with my sister Charlotte, Chun Lee, and BeeGee. I was so sad because I was in puppy love with a few girls at school. I still think of what would have been if I stayed, and I still miss them. We took off to Texas from the east coast. We got out to eat here and there, and my sister kept bursting into tears randomly during the drive. It was all very strange in the Blazer. I did not know what was happening to me; it’s like everyone knew, but not me. Even BeeGee had some tears in his eyes, but I think he was just trying to get a snack out of me. In fact, what I was thinking the most, is what was going to happen with my little best friend BeeGee? We finally get to San Antonio, Texas, to my uncle’s house, uncle Troy. I did not know him too good, but he was okay. I got out of the Blazer, and my sister started to cry again. All I had was my duffle bag with some clothes in it, but I wanted to keep BeeGee. I knock on the Blazers window, where Chun Lee was sitting, and she rolled down the window. I asked her if I could keep Bee Gee until they came back to get me. She told me no with her mean voice, and rolled up the window on me. I was pretty sad because of that. Not her being mean, I was used to that, but of me losing my best friend. I was standing there with my duffle bag, and my uncle Troy came out of the house. My dad Omar got out of the Blazer, and he squats down in front of me. I tell him, “Dad, when are you going to come back to get me?” He tells me, “Listen to me son, I need you to listen to me.” I tell him, “Okay, but when are you coming back to get me?” He said, “Listen to me, I need you to promise me something.” I tell him, “Okay dad, I promise. When are you coming back to get me?” He said, “No, listen to me, I need you to promise something.” I tell him, “I promise dad, but when are you coming back to get me?” He holds my little shoulders and told me, “Listen to me, son, I need you to promise me one thing.” I tell him, “Okay dad, what is it?” He said, “I need you to promise me that you are going to be a good boy. Can you promise me that, son?” I told him, “I promise dad, but when are you coming back to get me?” He hugs me, and got back in the Blazer. It’s like he put it in reverse, but put no gas to it. It backed up as slow as can be. I was standing next to my uncle Troy, watching this Blazer back up so, so slow. It backed up to the street, fixed up straight, and my dad put it in drive. Again, it’s like he put no gas to the pedal. He started to drive away while I stood next to my uncle. I stood watching them drive away, watching BeeGee look at me through the window, watching my sister cry, watching Chun Lee look straight ahead, watching my dad drive away from me. I never, ever saw my parents again, or BeeGee.

Readers, do you know what my uncle told me? He said, “Stevie, do you know how to mow a lawn?” I said, “Yes, I do.” He started giving me instructions of what he needed done in his yard. I wonder, did he not know that I have been in a Blazer for two days? He then gave me the rustiest lawnmower on planet earth! It looked like he found it on the bottom of the ocean, and he just put gas in it to make it work! I could not even start this mother lover! He had to start it for me, and every time it cut off, he would be so mad that he had to start it again. I mowed this lawn, raked some leaves, raked some grass, and other stuff. I was so tired. I finally went inside, and guess what! This house is completely empty, like my uncle just moved in. I took a shower and I just wanted to go to sleep. My uncle gave me a sheet and said I could sleep somewhere on the floor. That’s when I saw my aunt for the first time. She is Korean and really nice. Her name could not be pronounced by too many people, so she changed it to Tia. I finally was able to lay down, and you won’t believe this! My aunt was a freak! My uncle had sex with her over and over all night long! I got no sleep, and I still look at my aunt funny after I heard so many of her sex sessions.

The next day, my uncle woke me up, and told me that he is taking me to my other uncle’s house, uncle Antonio. I knew him as uncle Ant. I met him a couple of times, and he was a good uncle to me. Now readers, I am telling you this little detail for a reason. When my uncle dropped me off to my uncle Ant’s house, he did not tell me goodbye, he just left. I did not know it would have an affect on my mind until later on. It is all going to come together as you keep reading this story. I got to my uncle Ant’s house. He had a nice home, in a nice part of San Antonio. I remember he looked at me, and told me, “Are you okay, nephew?” I told him, “I am okay, unc.” He said, “Are you sure?” I told him that I was. He yelled out, “Lynn! Ruth!” My two little cousins came running out, talking about, “Hey Stevie! ” My uncle Ant said, “You all get dressed, we are going to the store.” We all go to the store, it was something like a Walmart. My uncle told me, “You go get anything you want nephew.” I go to explore everywhere. I looked at some skater t-shirts, I used to be into skateboard’s and stuff. I went to the hygiene aisle, and I found this super good smelling deodorant called cool breeze. I remember my New York friend Chris said that the first thing to do before approaching a female, is to have fresh breath, and smell good. Right ladies? I kept looking around, but I keep coming back to the awesome smelling deodorant. I took it back to my uncle Ant, and I said, “May you get this for me, unc?” He said, “Nephew, I said you can get anything.” I looked at him, looked at the deodorant, and said, “May you get me this?” He looked at me and said, “Come here, little Stevie.” He gave me a nice hug and said, “You are a good nephew.” It made me think of my dad. It made me happy, but sad at the same time.

Readers, I don’t know why I added this part. I am just writing everything if you do not mind. I stayed with my uncle for about two weeks. I had a nice time with him, and my two little cousins. One day, my uncle asked me if I was ready to go to Dallas to meet my birth mother. I told him, “When ever you are ready, I am ready.” He said that we will leave soon. After a couple of days, he said that just me and him are going to drive to Dallas. To be honest, I did not know what was going on in my life. I just knew that ever since my sister told me that I was adopted, I felt like I was from another world. A world I knew nothing about, but my uncle was about to take me there. My uncle and I left. We talked a little bit in the car, but I ended up falling asleep. He woke me up to the city skyline shining bright. Those of you that have never seen the Dallas skyline at night, it is pretty amazing. I was looking at it, and my uncle was driving right toward it. He said my mother worked in a building downtown. We got there, and went inside. It was a nice place. It had glass elevators, a skating rink, and brass everything. We rode the glass elevator up to the floor my mother was suppose to be working on. We got to her floor, and I saw two arcades that I wanted to play, but I did not have any quarters. I was looking at the game while it played itself, and it showed ‘Insert Coin’, when my uncle came up to me and said, “Come here Stevie.” I went to stand by my uncle, he put his arm around my shoulders, and he pointed in a direction. He pointed toward a woman passing out the ice skates for people to wear. He pointed to her and said, “Do you see that woman with the long blond hair that is passing out the skates?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “That is your mother, Stevie.” I looked at her, and she was a very beautiful short woman, and her hair was so long! She looked really young also, like about twenty or so. Picture this little boy seeing his birth mother for the very first time, after thinking a whole other woman was his real mom. I was pretty intrigued. I just looked at her, and I finally knew a little bit of where I come from. Who I originated from. My uncle told me to go wait by the arcade, so I went back to trying to make a quarter come out of the machine. I turned around after a little while, and my uncle was no where to be seen. He left, and did not even say goodbye. What did I do so wrong? I was looking around, and my mother started to come toward me. I did not know what was going to happen.

Before I tell you, Readers, what did happen, I want you to know that I love my mother very much. The first words my mother told me were not of hostility or anger. They were more on the lines of stress and worry. She said, “I don’t have any money, I don’t know how I am going to take care of your brother, your sister, you, and Los.” I did not even know I had a brother or sister, and who was Los? She ran her fingers through her long hair, and looked like she was in a panic. I just waited, not knowing what to say. I know that this was a very awkward moment. I did not know what I felt at this time, or even what I was thinking. I just knew that I might be in a bad spot in my life. I knew things were going to be a lot different now. We just stood there quietly. She told me that she had to go back to work, and for me to wait by the arcade. I really wished I would have had a quarter. I waited, and while she was working, passing out the skates to people, I tended to keep looking in her direction. I wanted to see who I came from. I have been feeling like a Martian for too long. I could not stop myself. I looked and looked, but when she turned to look at me, I turned away really quickly. I would feel her look in my direction, and when I looked, she would turn away really quickly too. Time went by. I waited for her to get off of work, and when she did, she came up to me and said, “Are you ready to go?” I told her yes, and we left. We rode the elevator to the parking garage, and waited. We waited and waited. I was pretty sure we were waiting on a ride from someone. My mother kept looking at her little watch, and was talking smack about something. She was saying things like, “Darn it! Shoot! Come on!” I did not want to ask what was wrong, she already looked like she was having a heck of a day. I just stood there with her, and waited. I heard a car coming up the parking garage, and it was coming up pretty fast, while making noises like,”Errrr! Errrrr! Err!” That was the sound of the tires burning rubber coming up the ramp floor levels. I hear this car, and it finally pulled up. It was a maroon Buick Park Avenue Coupe, and it was sitting on some triple gold spoke Dayton’s. Remember readers, this is the early nineties, so if you were sitting on some trip D’s, you were talking about something. Most wanted the hundred and fifty spoke triple golds, just like this Buick rested on. It pulled up, and my mother instantly started talking smack, while she went around to the passenger side. The door opened and some guy got out of the car. Man! This guy looked like a player, slash gangster looking, smooth dude! This guy had the biggest gold chain I have ever seen in my young life! It had a huge medallion that read ‘Los’ going down the dog tag shaped gold piece. His beard was trimmed up so perfect, it looked like he literally just got out of the barber’s chair after getting edged up with one of those straight razors. His jeans were so starched and crispy, I can guarantee that they would have stood up on their own if he took them off! His shoes looked straight out of the store, and even his shirt had a crease going down the middle! He was tattooed all over, and he had solid golds in his mouth, top and bottom. His name was Mexican Los.

While I was mesmerized by this guy, he was just looking straight at me like he knew me. I looked back at him, and it was like we were having a staring contest. Finally, he said, “Are you Stevie?” I said, “Yes.” He said, “Let me get your bag, Stevie.” I gave him the duffle bag, he moved the car seat back, and he put my bag in the backseat. When he put my bag in the car, he told me, “Whenever you are ready, Stevie.” I looked at the open door, and I got inside. When he got in, he turned around in his seat toward me, and asked me what type of music did I like. I told him that I liked all types, but mostly rap and stuff. He said, “Do you like Easy-E?” I said, “Easy who?” You should have seen how he jerked back, and looked at me like he was the most shocked person ever! He said, “You don’t know who Easy-E is?” I told him no. He shook his head like this was preposterous, absurd. He took a tape out, (the 90’s), and he puts on this easy guy. He said, “This is him, Stevie.” Those of you that have never heard Easy-E, he is one cursing mother lover! The song started, and all I heard was, “Got, darn, shoot, mother loving, beach, eff, darn, beach, slut!” (I don’t curse in this book.) It was crazy, because this Los knew all the words! Los was flying down the freeway, singing along to this cursing guy banging out of his car stereo system. I liked it myself, this Easy-E guy sure did have some good lyrics. I was looking out the window, checking out the city, and then we pulled up to a house. It was a pretty nice house. It had a fence around it, and it was neither really big, nor really small. My mother looked back at me, and she said, “Do you want to meet your brother and sister?” I told her, “Yes.” We got out of the car, and she yelled out, “Mija! Mijo!” They both came outside. My sister was one year younger then me, and my brother was really young. My sister looked at me and said, “Are you my brother?” I said, “I think so?” She said, “Do you want to go inside and play Sonic the Hedgehog? ” I said, “Yea!” We went inside and my sister insisted that I be Tails, and she be Sonic. Grandma, also known as Wela, she came in and started talking to me in Spanish. I asked my sister, “What is she telling me?” My sister said, “You do not know Spanish?” I told her, “No, I was raised by Koreans.” My sister stopped pushing the buttons on the video game, and looked at me like I was lying to her. She said, “Korean?” I said, “Yes, Korean.” She went back to pushing buttons and said, “Wela said something about how she wishes she would have kept you when you were small.” I never found out the history of that. Wela made homemade flour tortillas and gave me some of the best tasting sweet tea I have ever tasted in my life! My mother yelled out, “Stevie! Are you ready to go?” In my head, I was thinking, “What the heckling don’t live here?” I told my mother yes, and we leave Wela’s house. We were back in the car listening to Easy-E’s amazing lyrics, and as I looked out the window, I started to see stuff. I saw a gang of dogs walking around by themselves, and they looked like they would really bite the heck out of you! Kill you even! The smallest dog was in the front like it was the ringleader. I was glad I was in the car. I saw a car hitting switches, bouncing up and down while going about fifty miles an hour. I thought it looked pretty impressive. I did not know they could do that while driving so fast. 

I saw one guy with his hands-on top of a cop car, while a bunch of cops surrounded him. I wondered what he did. I saw a bunch of graffiti, gang signs, symbols, and drawings, spray-painted all over buildings. I saw a couple of cars sitting on bricks, like the tires were stolen right up from under them. I kept looking around, and I knew I was not in the suburbs of Jersey no more. I knew I was in some type of ghetto, some type of hood. This place was a far, far away place from the wonderland I used to live in. I did not know the name of this hood at the time, but I would later find out, that it was called, Oak Cliff.

We pulled up to a small house. The grass was tall, there were a couple of forty ounces laying around, it had a few bullet holes in the porch, and it had two dogs behind the fence looking like they wanted to eat you. One dog was a all white Pitbull named Blanca. It sat really low, and it did no barking, it did not need to. The other dog was a Doberman pinscher, named Ruby. She was galloping side to side like a baby horse, but when it stopped to look at you, it was like it disappeared! That’s how skinny it was, but it still looked like it could eat you. 

We all got out of the car. The house had burglary bars all around it, and my mom opened the door. I was about to go inside, but Mexican Los said, “Bye Stevie, I will see you later.” 

Chun Lee, Charlotte, uncle Troy, uncle Ant, none of them told me goodbye, but Los did. I liked that guy, he was really nice to me. I am sure many people only saw his exterior, his gold teeth, tattoos, but he was a good person in my eyes. He left, and my mother and I went inside. When you got in the house, it had a room that turned into another room with a bed. Then it turned into the kitchen, no doors. The bathroom door was off the hinges, so you had to pick it up manually to close it. It was a nice little cozy house. There was a small black couch, and my mom said I could sleep there. I was so tired, that as soon as I laid down, I instantly fell asleep. I was awakened by my mother shaking me. I looked at her, and she said that she had to go to work. She handed me a key with a shoelace on it. 

 She said, “Here is the key to the house, don’t lose it, because if the house catches on fire, you will die because of all the burglary bars.” 

I put the shoelace around my neck and pulled it to make sure it was nice and secure. My mother left, and I went back to sleep. When I woke up, I went to go look for something to eat. In the kitchen I found some Ramen noodle soups, a few eggs, some malt-o-meal, some can goods, and a pickle jar full of pickle juice, no pickles. I was okay though, I still love Ramen noodle soups till this very day. I ate a soup, watched some TV, and fell asleep while waiting for my mom to come back. 

When I woke up, I ate another soup, and waited some more. It got pretty late at night, but still nothing. I hoped my mother was okay. The next morning, I did pretty much the same thing. I ate a soup, and watched some TV. I woke up the next day again, but still no mother. 

Now readers, I was just not some sniffling nose baby boy, I was old enough to take care of myself. The problem was that there was no food to eat in the house. Eight or nine days passed and there was literally no more food to eat. Well, they had a few can goods. I ate a can of Lima beans, and man, it was horrible! I had to do something quickly, but then my mother showed up. 

 When she got there, she said, “You’re okay.” 

She had a lot of clothes with her. She put it on the bed, and was grabbing more clothes out of the closet. I wanted to tell her so badly that there was no food to eat, but I did not know my mother like that. I was still shy and awkward around her. We were strangers, and I could not find the words to tell her that I was hungry. She left some of her clothes, grabbed some clothes, and she left again. 

This time readers, I knew I had to act into my own hands. I put on my favorite Bugs Bunny T-shirt, my Nikes, my house key on the shoelace, and I went outside with only one thing on my mind, to eat. I was hungry. I went out to the world, locked the door behind me, and I just started to walk. I would look at the names of the streets just in case I got lost. 

I walked by 7-Eleven and I smelled those hotdogs cooking, just waiting for someone to come eat them. I smelled fried chicken from the Popeye’s on the corner. I smelled the fresh bread being made at the Mexican bread store. All this was like a form of torture! I went inside the 7-Eleven with it on my mind to steal something, but remember, I was from the suburbs, and I never done anything like that before.

Let me tell you something readers, being hungry for real, is not a joke! I am not talking about just being hungry, and knowing you will get something to eat later on. I am talking about being hungry, and not knowing when you will eat again. I am talking about being so hungry, that every minute that passes, you are almost in a panic mode! Panicking, and being super worried that you will not get something to eat soon. It’s like being so hungry, you could barely swallow! It may be one of the worst feelings one could ever feel! I walked and walked, and then I walked some more. I did not know what to do. I was not going to write this part, because I did not want you readers to know, but I was walking, and crying. I knew nothing about God, but enough to where I was begging him to help me.

I kept walking, and walking, and then I saw a store called Winn-Dixie. It was a grocery store. I went inside and I grabbed the first thing I saw in the fruit area, a plum. At that moment, it was truly the best tasting thing in the world. I walked the aisles and ate anything I could find. Pop tarts, protein bars, and I drank weight loss shakes because it was the easiest thing to drink without anybody seeing me. I was so happy, and I knew that this is all I needed at the time, to eat something. 

 I went home and I did not steal anything out of the store, I could never do that. When I got home, there was still no one there, and my young mind started to go through changes. One, I knew I was on my own, and I had to take care of myself now. The other thing was that money makes the world go around, and I did not have none. Everyday I would walk around for no reason, just looking around like I was waiting for something to happen, then something did. I was walking down the sidewalk on a street behind my street, and as I was walking, there was some guy staring me down with a mean mug on his face. He was looking at me like he wanted to hurt me for no reason, or like I was doing something wrong to him. I kept walking and I knew he was about to tell me something any second now. He did. 

He started to yell at me saying, “Hey! Hey! Who are you?! ” He came from around the fence, and approached me like he wanted to fight me. He was about my age, twelve or thirteen, dark skinned, Hispanic, and for some reason, he was not a happy camper.   

He came up to me, and he was like, “Who are you?! What are you down with?!” 

 I told him, “I’m Stevie.” 

He said, “Stevie!” He then said, “Where are you from? Are you from Oak Cliff?” 

I told him,” Oak Cliff? What is that? ” 

He looked at me like I just slapped him! He looked at me like I was some type of Martian.  

He said, “What?!” 

I said, “Oak Cliff, what is that?” 

 He just stared me down like he was not sure if I was bull corning him. He then said, “Where do you stay at, Stevie?!” 

He said my name in a sarcastic tone, like he was making fun of me. I thought he was about to hit me and I did not want to fight some stranger for no reason, but I knew I was in some type of new world. 

He said, “Where do you live at?” 

I looked behind him, and I could see my mom’s little green house right behind the house he was standing in front of. He still had the same mean mug on his face like I was bothering him and I was some type of intruder in his domain. 

He said, “Where at?” 

I told him, “The green house right behind this house.” 

He looked back, he looked at me, and he said, ‘Which green house?” 

I told him, “The one with the white Pitbull.” 

He said, “The white pit?” 

 I said, “Yeah.” 

He said, “With the super skinny Doberman?” 

I told him, “Yeah.” 

He was still looking at me like an enemy or an imposter. He said, “Are you Mexican Los’s son?” 

I said, “Something like that.” 

His whole demeanor changed. He smiled, reached out his hand, and said, “I’m Manny Boy.” 

We shook hands, and he was like, “Do you want to go inside Stevie?” He lived on the side of the house, like the attic part. We went inside, and I saw huge speakers everywhere, amplifiers, pull out stereos, all types of tools, a TV, and other stuff. Manny Boy was cool, and we talked a lot. I chilled at his house for a long time, but then I started to think that maybe my mom went home. It had been a couple of weeks since she picked up those clothes last time. I told Manny I was going home, and he said to come over whenever I wanted to.

 I went home, but no one was there. I went to sleep sad, but I was happy that at least I knew someone now. 
The next day, I went back over to Manny Boy’s house. He was all smiles and had no problem that I showed up. We had fun again. Later on, he had to go inside to eat dinner and I told him that I would come back around some other time. 

I left with dinner on my mind, so I went to my favorite restaurant, the grocery store called Winn-Dixie. I ate some food and as I was leaving out those sliding doors, a guy in a red Winn-Dixie shirt stood in front of me. He said, “I have been watching you on my cameras, and I saw what you have been doing.” 

I was so scared, and I did not know what I was going to do. I thought about making a run for it, but then the guy said, “How old are you?” I told him that I was twelve. 

Now readers, before I sprouted up to this amazing height of five foot, three inches, when I was young, I looked very young, and small. 

He said, “You’re twelve?! You look like you are eight!” 

 I just stood there. He stared at me, and I was about to cry. He looked at me and said, “You don’t have anything to eat?” 

 I told him, “No sir.” 

He said, “You don’t have food at home?” 

 I told him, “No sir.” 

He let out a big breath, and he said, “Look, little man, you could eat here if your hungry, but don’t steal nothing out of my store.”

 I told him, “No sir, I won’t.” 

He said I could leave, and after that day, I knew that at least I now had a place to eat. Thanks, Winn-Dixie man! 

Everyday, I would go over to Manny Boy’s house. I got to know him really well. Came to find out, he was a gangbanging mother lover! A car-stealing fool! A female-pulling pimp! A sale tools to the nearest pawn shop maniac! None of that mattered to me, he was my friend. 

One day, he said, “Stevie, I have to go inside to eat, do you want me to bring you a plate?” 

I told him, “Heck yeah!” 

When he came back, he had a plate of some homemade food on it! 

Readers, till this day, I don’t know how I ate that plate of food, but Manny looked at me and said, “Stevie, you don’t have any food at home?”

 I was so embarrassed, but I told him the truth. I told him, “No, I don’t have anything.” 

 He said, “Come on Stevie, come with me.” He snuck me into his house, to the kitchen. Whispering, he gave me a bag, and asked me what I like to eat.

 I whispered to him, “Bacon and eggs.” 

He opened the fridge, and he gave me a pack of bacon and the rest of the eggs in the egg carton. He grabbed a box of cereal and said, “You could have these, I don’t like them.” 

Shoot, I gladly took them! He gave me some bread, and even asked if I had some cooking grease. I told him no. He gave me the rest of the grease he had, and some other stuff.

Readers, Manny Boy was already my friend, but after that day, he became like a brother to me. Maybe some might not understand, but Manny was the meaning of a day-one partner. 

Manny Boy used to break into cars and steal all the valuables out of them. The first time I went with him, we broke into a car, and while he was taking out the stereos, I would keep look out. I kept look out, while still digging all up in the ash tray trying to find some change. 

Down the street was a Taco Bell that sold soft taco Supremes! It was my favorite because of the sour cream. I still love those! Back then, all you needed was about eighty-nine cents to get one, so all the times Manny was breaking into cars, all I was worried about was finding some change so I could get something to eat. Yeah, Manny helped me with food sometimes. Yeah, I could eat at the grocery store sometimes, but I still wanted my own stuff, to take care of my own self.

One day, Manny told me that he knew how to steal cars. 

I told him, “No, you don’t.” 

He said that he knew now, and that he wanted me to go with him. 

I said, “I’ll go, but I know that you don’t know how to steal a car.” 

He argued that he did, but I knew the truth. We went and broke into cars all over the place. We got into one car that Manny said he knew how to start. He broke the ignition collar as I kept look out. Between me looking out, I was watching Manny destroy everything around the steering wheel. 

Readers, he did not know what he was doing. He was just breaking stuff. I was telling him that he did not know what to do, and for us to go. 

As we left, he had every excuse in the book. He said, “The battery was probably not connected! The spark plugs were probably bad! It probably had a kill switch.” He had a bunch of other reasons for the car not starting too. I just shook my head because I knew the real deal. My partner did not know how. 

We were going home, when Manny saw a Buick Regal. He said that he really knew how to start those. 

I told him, “Stop playing fool, let’s just go home.” I personally wanted to go and get me a soft taco supreme. 

He said, “No Stevie, one more car.” 

Of course, you know me, he was my friend. The window was a little open, so Manny pushed it up and down some. It got to where I could probably fit my little skinny wrist into the window, and unlock it. I put my arm in there, unlocked it, and it was such a tight fit, Manny had to open the door to roll the window down, because my arm was stuck! He thought that was funny. I jumped in the passenger seat, and held the cigarette lighter for light, so Manny could see the ignition. We had about four lighters, I would switch them up when they got too hot to hold. While Manny was again obliterating another ignition, I of course was looking for change for my tacos. I was steadily searching around while Manny did his thing, and the craziest thing happened! The radio came on! I had to turn it down too! Then the antenna came up, and I realized that Manny was turning the car on! 

I yelled out, “You’re doing it, Manny! You’re starting the car! Keep doing what you are doing!” He kept it up, and man, I never felt this feeling in my life! It was a rush of adrenaline, and surprise. The motor caught and the car turned on! 

 I yelled, “You did it! You did it!” 

He had the audacity to yell, “I told you I knew how! I told you!” 

Shoot, I said, “Well, go Manny! Go, go!” I never in a million years thought that Manny did not even know how to drive! He was pulling the gear shift up and down! He did not even know what gear to put it in! 

I yelled to him, “The R, Manny! The R! Put it on the R!” 

He did! He pushed the gas, and we flew out of the driveway! I was so scared! We were in the middle of the road, and I just wanted to get out of there! I reached over, and I put it in drive. I told Manny, “Go, go, go, go!”

 He stepped on the gas, and we got up out of there! Manny was swerving from side to side! This dude did not know how to drive at all! Not even a little bit! I held the steering wheel, and told him to slow down. A stop sign was coming up, he slowed down, and stopped. 

 I told Manny, “You don’t know how to drive?” It’s crazy because now he wanted to tell the truth. 

He said, “No, I never drove before.” 

I could not help but to laugh, this was my partner right here. I told him to step on the gas lightly, and that he had to drive right so no cops would pull us over. I told him that we couldn’t be swerving and swinging. He listened, and he actually caught on really quickly. He started to drive pretty good. I still kept look out for the cops as he drove, and we went to one of Manny’s gang buddie’s house named Droopy. 

 When we got there, we didn’t know that the car had neon lights on the bottom. It was a big thing in the 90’s. Droopy said that he would give us a hundred dollars for the lights. Manny unattached them from the bottom and sold them to Droopy.Manny gave me half the money, and I was pretty happy about that. It turned on a thought in my head. I already had the thought that money makes the world go around. Now I had a new thought, Crime pays. 

The next time I went to get me a soft taco supreme, I ordered other food with it and a drink. I even ate it there. I usually took my measly little one soft taco with me to eat, while I walked back to an empty house. It was a good feeling to me. To be able to eat, to buy things that I needed, and it came from me committing crimes. 

We got rid of that car that night. We wiped it down and left it in some alley. 

 The next night, Manny showed up at my house and asked me if I was ready. I thought about the food I ate and the money still in my pocket. 

I told him, “Hold on, let me put on a black shirt.” 

We went car hunting, and broke into all types of cars for no reason. Well, I can’t say for no reason. Manny Boy was always looking for stuff to be able to sell, and I was always looking for money. 

We finally found another car, a Cutlass. This time it went a lot smoother. Manny started the car and drove out of there really calm-like. 

We were driving around while listening to a tape Manny brought with us. He pulled up to girls’ houses that he knew, and the ladies were loving that we were in a car. They didn’t even care that it was stolen.

We cruised the streets all night, but I was still the responsible one. I kept on looking out for cops and pointing out when he was not driving right, or not following the rules of traffic. I was steady reminding Manny to be careful, to slow down, to use the blinkers, watch the stop signs. 

 Finally, I guess Manny had enough of my paranoia, and steady bickering. He said, “Stevie, why don’t you just relax, and be calm. You see that I am driving right. You see that we have stuff for sale. Why don’t you just sit back, and let me do what I do.” 

I was feeling good because I had money in my pocket, and I would have even more when we sold the stolen stuff we had. I was not hungry, and my good friend sounded pretty confident. 

I told him, “Okay Manny, I will chill.” I pushed the seat back, got a little comfortable, and even turned up the music some. 

 Manny said, “You see, relax and enjoy the ride.” 

Readers, literally one second later, a cop got behind us and hit the sirens! 

I yelled out, “OH snap! It’s the mother loving cops!” All types of thoughts ran through my head! I had never been in trouble before. I thought that the cops knew about all the cars we have been breaking into, and they finally caught us! I thought that this was it, and I thought I was going to jail forever! 

I yelled to Manny, “What are we going to do!?” 

Man, this Manny was a real character! He looked at me while he was pulling over, and he said, “Be quiet, Stevie. The car is probably not even reported stolen yet, just sit back and be calm. I got this.” 

 Oh man! I had no choice but to sit there and act like the citizen of the year! I faced forward like I was an upstanding and honorable human being. Like I was just out enjoying the evening night, while abiding the law.

We swerved to the side of the road, and Manny rolled down the window. He told me to let him do all the talking. I had no problem with that. I was shaking like a leaf on a windy day. 

 This cop got out of his car, and casually walked toward us. He was holding a paper pad like he was just going to give us a ticket. The cop came to the driver’s side window, and when he looked inside, Manny yelled out, “Eff you copper!” 

 I was like, “What the hell!” 

Manny stepped on the gas, and we flew out of there like we were in an actual street race! 

I yelled to Manny, “What are you doing fool?!” 

He looked at me while laughing hysterically, and acted like I was the one tripping! He was driving so fast, and driving so crazy, that I could not help but to go back into responsibility mode! 

I was yelling, “Watch out! Turn left! Turn right! Watch out for that car! Watch out for that dog! Slow down! Watch the road!” 

He kept laughing at me. Manny was laughing like this was the funniest thing in the world, and now we had three cop cars behind us! Manny was flying through alleys, hitting trash cans on purpose, and steady laughing like a crazy person! I had never seen Manny like this! It was like he lost his marbles, and I was hostage next to him! He grabbed the tape out of the stereo, and told me that we had to run! 

Before I could grasp what he was talking about, we crashed into a light pole in the alley! The car crashed so hard on my side, that it shook my brain and rattled my thoughts! Then I felt a breeze. I looked at Manny’s door open, and all I could see is the back of him running away! 

He looked back, still smiling, and he said, “Run Stevie! Run!” 

 Shoot, he did not have to tell me twice! I undid my seatbelt, and tried to push my door open. It would not budge at all! A dumpster was blocking it! I climbed over the seat, and ran through Manny’s door! I had never been so scared in my life! I ran like my life depended on it! I never even looked, but I could feel people chasing me! I ran so fast, that I caught up with Manny and passed him! He thought that was hilarious too! All I could hear was Manny laughing as I chopped out of there. I remembered as a kid, that if I ran with my hands in a karate chop like style, I thought I could run faster. Well, that’s what I was doing. I was chopping out of there like my life depended on my great escape. I ran, and ran! I dusted Manny and I never looked back, not one time. I just ran! I ran so far that it got quiet, like I was the only one around. I stopped, but then I heard a helicopter, so I ran some more. 

 As I was running, I fell into some type of ditch, and I just stayed there, listening. No one was coming, but when I looked up, I could see the helicopter doing circles around the area that Manny and I crashed at. I was in some woods, and didn’t even remember how I got there. I just knew that I was running, jumping fences, running through people’s yards, and then I fell into this ditch. I stayed there for about an hour and a half, maybe longer. I waited until I could no longer hear the chopper or police.

 When I got up to walk back home, I just knew surely no one was home. You won’t believe it; my mother was there! I did not know what to do. Should I knock? Should I wait until she left again? Should I go to Manny’s? I decided to go inside, and as I was putting the key in burglary bar door, the door opened.

My mother looked at me and said, “Stevie, why are you all dirty like that?” 

I looked at myself, and I was filthy! I had leaves stuck all over me, and dirt on my knees.  

 She said, “Don’t bring those dirty clothes inside. Shake them out.” 

I took my clothes off, and shook them out while my mom got ready to leave. I came inside, and she was leaving. She said, “Bye Stevie!” 

I told her bye. She was a nice person. I just did not know her, and she did not know me. There were never no bad feelings between us, and no bad vibes. She was just living her life and I was living mine. 

I took a bath, got cleaned up, and then I finally laid down. I was thinking about what a crazy night that was, and then I heard a loud banging on the door! I thought to myself, “Who would knock on anyone’s door like that? Was it the cops?” 

I opened the door, and Manny was standing there with a big smile on his face. He said, “What’s up Stevie, what happened?” 

I said, “Shoot, I ran and ran. I got away.” 

He said, “Yeah, I ran too. I hid in a dumpster until the ghetto bird flew away.” He said, “Are you ready to do it again?” 

 I told him, “Heck no! We could have gone to jail!” 

He said, “Yeah, that’s my fault. This time I will change the license plates with the same type of car, and only drive on the back streets.” 

I told him, “Why didn’t you stop and talk to the cop?” 

Manny burst out laughing and said, “Stevie, the cops don’t want to hear what two Mexicans have to say. I don’t talk to cops anyway. It’s against the G-Code.” 

I said, “The G-Code? What is that?” 

He laughed and said, “Stevie, stick with me, you have a lot to learn.”

We went back to his house, and we talked about what happened the night before. Manny knew that I did not have any money, or even much clothes to wear. Back then, if you had Marithe Francois Girbaud jeans, or Guess jeans, you were on. If you had ice white shoes, and ice white T-shirts, you were on. I didn’t have none of that. I used to borrow Manny’s clothes. I knew it was a major thing, and I wanted my own. At least white sneaks and white tees. I stuck with my friend Manny. He knew so much more than me. Manny Boy was a Midnight Dreamer. It was a really big gang in the 90’s. That, and Jr. Homeboys, East Side Homeboys, East Side Lil Locos, Vagos, and others. Manny said that it did not matter if I was in a gang or not. The cops were still going to look at me like I was in one anyway. Also, because I live in Oak Cliff, East side didn’t like me, so I had to be careful either way. I believed him. 

Manny and I stole cars all the time. I learned what sold, and what didn’t sell. We even knew some crack smokers that used to pawn our stuff for us, so they could get some money too. We knew Red Headed Rick, JC, Baby girl, Bubba, and all types of others. They did drugs like their life depended on it. They did it on a daily basis, and everyday was some type of mission to get high. Even at twelve, I could see that they were missing out on life by chasing drugs. It made me not ever want to be hooked on dope. 

One day, Manny and I were in an alley way, and he was spray painting all types of stuff on the walls. He put the spray can down, and he looked at me. He said, “Stevie, are you my best friend?” 

I told him, “Of course, fool.” 

He punched me in the face! 

I was like, “What the heck!” 

We started fighting! We were rolling around on broken glass in this dirty alley, punching each other, and kicking each other! It was just two kids fighting. After it was all over, Manny said that he just crossed me into his gang, Midnight Dreamers. 

 I told him, “Heck no! I did not agree to that!” 

He said, “Yeah, yeah, it’s too late.” 

I told him, “I am not a member.”

He said, “It does not matter what you are saying, we know the truth.” 

I was like, “Whatever.” 

Readers, the truth is that I am not a Midnight, and never was. 

Time went on. I started to break into cars even if Manny was not around. I could still eat at the grocery store Winn-Dixie, but sometimes other workers were there wearing those red Winn-Dixie shirts. I could not do it all the time, but I still had to eat. To be honest, I did not know what to do, but to keep trying to take care of myself. 

One night, Manny and I stole a car, and we went to pick up some of his gang buddies. It was five of us in this car. It was a Cutlass, those were the type of cars everyone stole back then. Me and these guys were cruising around, joy riding, and listening to music. We were driving this stolen car like it was legal. I was in the middle, in the back seat. I didn’t want to be there in the car. I should have gone home. I knew that this was a crime that did not make no type of money, but I had to learn the hard way.

Sure enough, the cops got behind us. I already knew the tactic. Evade the police until there was a good spot to jump out, and take off running. Manny did not even pull over this time. As soon as the police hit the lights, he took off at full speed! You know me, I was guiding Manny through this high-speed chase so we would not crash! I truly believe I saved our lives from crashing on more than one occasion.

This time, in this speeding attempt to get away, after driving recklessly, Manny jumped a curve and messed up the car! He grabbed the tape out of the stereo, and yelled, “Everybody run! Run!” 

This was a two-door car, so when the doors opened, I had to wait my turn to jump out! I finally made it out of the car, and guess what the police yelled out? They yelled, “Get the little one! Get the little one!” 

If you did not know, they were talking about me! I did not spring to this awesome height of five foot, three inches, until I was way older. 
            
I gave it my all, and I run pretty fast, like a deer, but these cops had their eyes on me. I ran so hard, and I saw Manny running with no one behind him. He was smiling!

When the police were close to grabbing me, I used my juking skills I used to use as in a kid in New Jersey playing tag football. It did not work on this grown man cop! He got a hold of my shirt, and would not let go! He tackled me, and that was it for me. I was hand cuffed and thrown in a cop car. 

Two others got caught, but, of course, not Manny Boy. This was it. I really messed up this time. I was going to jail. We got to the juvenile detention center, and we were all put into a cell. I was so nervous. I waited and waited, and then a man came to get me. I went with him, and he said, “What is your phone number at home?”

Man, that was like the worst question he could have asked me! I told him that I did not have a phone at home. He asked if I had a way to contact my parents. I told him no.

He said, “Look, we know you were not the driver of the car. You probably can’t even see over the steering wheel, but we need someone to release you to.” 

I did the best thing I could think of at that moment, I started to cry. The man must have seen how miserable I looked.

He said, “Hold on, I will be back” He came back and said, “Let’s go.” 

I went with him, and he took me home, but no one was there. I told him that my mom worked late nights and the daytime too. I saw my neighbor, and I told the guy that brought me home, to ask my neighbor if I lived there. I did not know my neighbors, but they saw me around. They verified that I stayed there, and the guy left me there after he told me to stay out of trouble. 

That same night, Manny showed up like we didn’t just have a run in with the law. He acted like it was just some normal stuff that happens on a regular. He was like, “What happened Stevie?”

I told him that I went to jail, and that I did not want to do unnecessary stuff like that anymore. 

He said, “Come on Stevie, you didn’t know you can do anything as a juvenile, and they will let you go?” 

I said, “They will?” 

He said, “Yeah, you’re only a juvenile. You could darn near do anything, and they will let you out to a parent.”

 I said, “But I don’t have any parents.” 

He said, “Try to get your moms phone number.”

I was not really convinced that what he was saying was true, but the guy did drop me off at home like nothing happened. I also found out that joyriding as a passenger is not the same as driving the car. The driver is the one that is charged with auto theft. I figured that I would just never drive a stolen car. 

One time, Manny came to my house with his friend David. He was another Midnight. We went out to steal some cars, and after Manny started one car, we went to steal another. Manny started it, and I drove it out of there, but just a little bit, I did not want to get in trouble by driving. Manny pulled up on the side of us, and said that he would catch up with us later on. He left, so David and I drove around a bit. David then said that he wanted to drive.

I told him, “No problem, you can drive all you want. In fact, take me home, and you can have this car.” 

As we drove home, of course the police pulled up on the side of us at a red light! The windows were down, and the ignition was all broken up! The police car was right next to us, and I tried so hard to look normal at two in the morning in a stolen ride. The policeman looked at me, looked at the ignition, pulled his flashlight out, and flashed it on the steering collar. He said something to his partner, and I knew what time it was. 

I whispered to David, “They are about to pull us over. You are going to have to get us to a spot where we can jump out and take off running.” 

David said, “Okay, I got this Stevie.” He gripped the wheel really tight and put on his best ‘I am going to lose these cops’ face on.

I believed him, he looked like he did this a thousand times. The light turned green, and we pulled off nice and smooth. The cop got behind us. 

I told David, “Get ready, they are about to hit the lights.” 

 Instead of them hitting the lights, the cop car hit the nerve-racking police horn! It sounded like ‘AAAAAAANK! AAAAAAAANK!’ Then it hit the lights as it hit another ‘AAAAAAAAAAAAAANNK!’ 

 Man! It must have done something to David’s confidence! 

 I told him, “Go fool, go!” 

He stepped on the gas, and literally smashed into a parked car on the side of the road! I thought to myself, “There is no way this is really happening!” 

It was time to run, though! I jumped out of the car, and put on the chops! I ran like I was a deer trying to not get captured! I ran so fast that I dusted the cop trying to catch me! He was way behind me! I ran and ran! Another cop car pulled up next to me and he jumped out! He started to chase me, and we ran so far that we were taking breaks! We were even talking smack to each other! 

He was telling me, “Just stop!” 

I was looking back at him telling him, “You just stop! You are never going to catch me!” 

It’s like we were on a jogging expedition. 

He said it again, “Just stop!”

I told him, “Never!” I have to give it to this cop, he tried. Eventually I got a hold of my second wind and left him when I started jumping fences. 

I made it home and as I got there I told myself that I had to find something else to do besides stealing cars. It was too dangerous, and I had enough of hoping something was in the car to sale. I wanted to stop for good, but none of that meant anything when I got hungry again. When I needed stuff, and even when I wanted quarters to play the Street Fighter arcade at the corner gas station. I wanted to do something different. I did not want to steal no more. It was not cutting it, and it was not worth it. 

One day I was at the house with the door open. The burglary bar screen door was locked and I heard the loudest music ever! It felt like the bass was making the ground shake! I looked outside and it was Mexican Los pulling up. I watched him drive up in his super clean car, and when he opened the door to step out, he looked like he didn’t have a care in the world. Fascinating! He was fresh, starched and pressed, with big diamonds and gold chains. His gold slugs were shining on his teeth, his beard was trimmed, and his hair was perfect. He came on the porch, and started banging on the door. He did not see me standing there through the dark screen door. 

 I said, “Hey Los!” 

He looked at me with a all smiling gold grill and said, “Stevie, is that you?” 

I said, “Yeah Los, it’s me.” 

 He told me to open the door, and the first thing he said was, “Dang Stevie, why are you so skinny like that?”

 I was so embarrassed, but I told him the truth. I said, “There is no food here, Los.” 

He said, “Where is your mother?” 

I told him, “To be honest, I have no idea.” 

He said, “When was the last time you saw her?” 

I could not help but to laugh at this question. 

I said, “Los, it has been a nice while.” 

He said, “How long?” 

 I said, “I saw her a couple of months ago, but she just got some clothes, and left again.”  

Los said, “Months?”

I told him, “Months.” 

He looked at me again, poked me in the ribs, and said, “When was the last time you ate something?” 

 I told him, “I don’t know, but there is nothing here to eat.” 

 He said, “I got you, Stevie, let me inside.” 

I opened the door and he came in. 

He said, “Months, huh? Do you think your mother will show up today?” 

 I told him, “I know she will not show up Los.” 

He pondered this answer, then he said, “Close the door, I need you to do something for me.” 

I closed the door and said, “What do you want me to do, Los?” 

He said, “I want you to keep look out for me.” 

I told him, “Okay, I will keep look out, but no one comes here.” I looked out the peep hole, turned around, and said, “The coast is clear.” 

He said, “No, I need you to look out the peep hole.” 

I looked out the peep hole again, turned around, and said, “Coast all clear.” 

 Los shook his head and said, “No Stevie, keep looking out.” 

I did, but I had to stay on my tip toes to do it. I said, “Like this Los?” 

He said, “Yep, just like that.” 

 Los went to the kitchen, and I stayed in the look out position. Every now and then, I had to let my calves rest, they were burning from staying on my tippy toes. I kept a good look out, even though I knew it was pointless. No one was coming. I didn’t know what Mexican Los was doing in the kitchen, but I was just happy to be doing something for him.

When he was finally done doing whatever he was doing, he came back to the front room. He said, “Alright, Stevie. Let me see what I have here for you.” 

He pulled out the biggest knot of money I had ever seen in my young years! Los said, “Hold your hand out Stevie.” 

 I did, and then he started to put one-dollar bills in my hand. I was so excited, that I put both my hands out so I would not drop none! He was putting them in my hand like they were an inconvenience to have with the rest of his money. He acted like I was doing him a favor by taking them. I was so happy! All I could think about was some soft taco Supremes! 

He made a nice pile in my little baby hands, and then he told me to hold on. He put that knot of money back into his pocket, and pulled out another even bigger knot of cash! Today was my lucky day! He got rid of the rest of his ones from that knot, and said, “Are you good, Stevie?” 

I was smiling from ear to ear! I told him, “Yes! Yes, I am! Thanks, Los!” 

 I ran to open the door for him like he was some type of king! In my eyes, he was! I watched him get inside his car, but he left the door open. He turned it on, turned up the music, and lit a cigarette. He drove in reverse out to the street with the door still open, and straightened out the wheel. When he drove forward, before he closed the door, he chunked the deuce at me. I thought to myself, “Man, that was one cool mother lover!” I went inside to count my little knot of money, and then I got dressed. 

Where do you think I went first, readers? What! You don’t know my character by now? I went straight to Manny Boy’s house! He was the one that looked out for me when I was hungry. Did you think I was going to forget my day one? 

I ran to his house, and when he opened it, I said, “You won’t believe what I got!” 

He was like, “What did you get?” 

I pulled out the money and I was like, “Bam!” 

Manny was like, “What the heck! Where did you get that from?” 

I said, “Let’s go to 7-Eleven and go play Street Fighter afterwards!” 

He said, “Let’s go!” 

 We went to the store and bought all types of snacks! We got super long hotdogs, nachos with too much cheese, and the biggest 7-Eleven slushes we could get! We were just two kids having fun, and I liked the feeling of being able to give Manny stuff after he helped me so many times. He never even made fun of me when I didn’t have food, or even clothes to wear. He was my best friend. 

After that day, I used to run to the house to see if Los was there. When he did come that next time, he kept his word and brought me something to eat. He brought me Williams Chicken! I was so happy! 

I said, “Thanks for remembering me, Los.” 

He said, “A man should always keep his word.” 

I held on to those words, and pretty much anything Los taught me. I knew he knew things. I kept look out for him while I ate a piece of chicken at the door, chicken and French fries! I saved Manny a piece, but not too many fries though.

When Los was done, he did the same thing as he did last time. He told me to hold my hands out while he got rid of his one-dollar bills. 

 This time, I was looking at the other bills he had. There were a lot of green hundred-dollar bills in there. This was way before big face, blue hundreds. When he left, he did the same thing. Start the car, put his music on, light his square, and drive backwards with the door still open. When he straightened out the wheel and drove forward, he would chunk the deuce before closing the door. Yep, I still thought he was one cool mother lover. 

Of course, I ran straight to Manny’s. I showed him the money and said, “Let’s go!” We ran to 7-Eleven with Manny eating the drumstick I saved for him. We went and got more long hotdogs, and huge 7-Eleven drinks both of us could barely hold. We went to play Street Fighter and had a good old time. 

Manny and I kept on doing the same things. Breaking into cars and stealing stuff. Then we learned that air compressors sold at the pawn shop all day, everyday. We stole some bikes, spray painted them all black, and we would jump into people’s yards to take their air compressors. We would steer with one hand, and pull the compressors on the little wheels they came on with the other hand. Red Headed Rick would be the main one we took these compressors to. He did all types of drugs. He smoked crack, smoked weed, smoked these funny looking cigarettes, but his main thing was shooting up cocaine. He was an okay dude, but he was always trying to keep more money than Manny and me. 

Red Headed Rick and Manny used to argue all the time. Manny would tell him that me and him did all the work. Rick would say that he was the one risking his life by pawning stolen stuff. I thought that they both had a valid point, and good argument. I personally did not care, as long as some type of money was put into my pocket. Plus, I did not mind giving Rick money to support his drug habit. 

Los came to the house quite a few times. He always left me money, and he always brought Williams Chicken. The more he came, the more I wondered why I had to keep peeping out the peeper. I knew no one was coming. Whatever Mexican Los was doing, he wanted it to be a secret, and did not want no one to show up. Every time I kept look out, I used to always hear a sound that I could not figure out. It was driving me crazy not to know what it was. It sounded like someone was scraping and scratching a plate with silverware as they ate. That’s how I pictured it. 

Los came to the house, and as he did whatever he was doing, I was at the peeper trying to figure out that noise. I could not take it anymore! 

I said, “Hey Los.” 

 Before I could get another word out, he ran toward the door and said, “Who is it!” 

I told him, “No one Los.” 

I looked out the peep hole again, and told him the coast was clear. He looked at me with confusion on his face. 

I said, “No Los, I wanted to ask you something.” 

I looked out the hole really quickly to let him know that it was still clear out there. 

 Los said, “You wanted to ask me something?”

 I said, “Yeah, I want to ask you something.” 

He said, “Well, what is it?” 

I looked out the hole and said, “Say Los, what are you doing back there that I have to stare out the peeper? I will do whatever for you, but I just want to know.” 

Los stood there and stared at me for a few seconds. Then he said, “So you want to see what I am doing?” 

 I told him, “Yeah, Los, what are you doing back there?” 

 He said, “Alright, you want to know? Come here quickly, but look out first.” 

I looked out and said, “Clear!” I ran to the back with him. Los had a plate on an ironing board with a big pile of dope on it. 

He said, “Do you know what this is Stevie?”

I looked at the huge cookies of dope, with a bunch of rocks everywhere. I said, “Yeah, I know what it is Los.” 

He said, “What is it?” 

I said, “That’s crack.” 

Los said, “Alright, alright, but I am only going to show you this one time, so pay attention.” 

I said, “I’m paying attention, Los.” 

He had a razor in his hand. It was one of those razors you put into a box cutter. 

He said, “First thing, Stevie, when you use a razor, you only use the tip.” He got a nice size rock and said, “Look Stevie, this is a fifty rock. Are you paying attention?” 

I was paying more attention then he could ever know. I told him, “I’m paying attention, Los.” 

 He got the fifty rock, and drew lines on it, across and sideways with the razor. He then used only the tip, and poked it. All the rocks broke into perfect little pieces. 

He scooted all the rocks into a line of five, and said, “These are twenty-dollar rocks. Are you paying attention?” 

I nodded my head yes.

 Los pointed to the line of rocks and said, “How many twenty rocks are right here, Stevie?” 

I said, “Five.” 

He said, “How much money is that?” 

I said, “A hundred dollars.” 

He said, “How much money was the rock I showed you?” 

I said, “Fifty dollars.” 

He said, “How much profit is that?” 

I said, “A fifty-dollar profit.” 

He said, “That is what you call a flip. Now go keep look out.” 

My young mind was blown! A flip, huh! I could not wait to tell Manny this new information I just learned! A flip! A flip! That was all I could think of. I finally found a way! I finally found out how this guy dressed so nice, drove nice cars, and how he had so much money. From rocks! Man, oh man! 

Los finished doing what he was doing, and came to the front. 

He said, “Let me see what I have here for you, little Stevie.” 

He started to pull out his knot of money, and I told him, “I don’t want no money, Los.” 

Los looked at me and burst out laughing! It was not the kind of laughing with you. It was the laughing at you kind! I was so embarrassed because I did not know what was so funny. 

He said, “Sorry Stevie, I just never heard someone say that they did not want money.” 

I just stood there like, oh. 

He then said, “If you don’t want any money, what do you want?” 

I told him, “Can you give me some of that stuff you got?” 

He said, “You want some crack? What are you about nine years old!” 

I told him, “I’m not nine, and I know people that do that stuff.” 

He said, “You do, huh?” 

I said, “Yep, a few people.” 

He stood there looking at me like he was thinking about it. He said, “Are you sure Stevie?” 

I said, “Yes Los, I am sure.” 

He pulled out a sack of dope and said, “Hold out your hand Stevie.” 

I held out my hand, and he gave me eight rocks. 

He said, “These are dimes, ten-dollar rocks.” 

I looked at these stones in my hand, and put them in my pocket. I felt like I was on to better things in my life. I opened the door for him, and I said, “Thanks Los.” 

He got into his clean car and did what he always did when he left. He did the car door thing, and the deuce. With a pocket full of stones, I ran to Manny’s house. I knocked on his door, and he let me inside. 

I said, “You won’t believe what I got!” 

He said, “What did you get?” 

I pulled out the rocks and said, “Bam!” 

Manny looked at them and said, “What! Where did you get those!” 

 I told him, “Come on, let’s go sell them!” 

We went outside and started walking around. Manny would see people and literally yell out, “Hey, you smoke!?” 

I has never done this before, so I did not know what was what. Eventually, after Manny has been yelling like a mad man, someone came up to us and said, “What do you youngsters have?” 

Manny said, “Show him Stevie!”

I held out the rocks in my hand, and Manny jumped on my shoulder, saying, “Noooo!” 

I was like, “What the heck!” 

He said, “You can’t show these fools everything you have. They snatch rocks around here!” 

I said, “What, they snatch rocks?” 

Manny said, “Yep, just show like two at a time.” 

I put the rest of them up, and kept two in my hand. 

Again, Manny said, “Show him Stevie!” 

I showed the guy two of them. The guy looked at them suspiciously, and said, “Are they real?” 

Manny said, “Come on Stevie! This guy is not talking about nothing!” 

We started to leave, and the guy said, “Now hold on now youngsters, this is Oak Cliff, you know.” 

Manny said, “Do you want them or not?” 

The guy said, “I only have seven dollars.” 

I told him, “Here you go,” and I gave him one. 

We kept walking around and bumped into all types of people. Eveline was a prostitute we always saw around. She had about eight dollars, so I gave her one. Another person had about eight dollars too, and I gave him one. Before I knew it, they were all gone. 

 You already know, Manny and I ran to 7-Eleven to buy long hotdogs, and play the arcade. While Manny was playing the arcade, I looked at him and thought how he did not have the problems I had. He had a family that cared about him. My young mind started to see that this world is what I made of it, and no one was going to hold my hand. I know that I had to get it myself, and there was no other way around this fact. I had no one to turn to, and I don’t think they had jobs that hire twelve-year-old kids. I had to do something, and I did not have a big variety of options. 

I thought and thought about this, and I told Manny, “Here you go. You can have the rest of these quarters. I have to go to the house.” 

Manny was like, “Alright, Stevie, I’ll see you later.” 

I went straight to a payphone, and paged Los. I put in the code he gave me, went back to the house, and waited on the porch. Los did not take long at all. He pulled up in a long cream-colored Buick Park Avenue sitting on some triple gold Dayton’s, with a peanut butter top. 

He pulled up, put it in park, leaned the seat all the way back, and said, “What’s up, little Stevie?” 

I went to the car and was like, “What’s up Los.” 

 He said, “What’s going on with you?” 

I told him that I needed some more. He said, “Alright, alright. How much money do you have?” 

I dug in my pocket and told him, “Here you go. It’s about thirty-four dollars.” 

He looked at it, looked at me, and then he started to laugh. It was not the good kind of laugh either. I was turning red with shame, because to have this guy laugh at you was not too cool. After Los embarrassed me for what seemed like forever, he stopped laughing and had the most serious face on. 

He said, “Stevie, do you know what I was doing before you called me?” 

I told him, “No Los, what were you doing?” 

He said, “I was making money, but I stopped to see how you were doing. I gave you eight rocks, so you are supposed to have eighty dollars.” 

I told him, “Yeah, but Manny and I…” 

 He cut me off before I could finish. He said, “Manny? I didn’t give Manny nothing. I gave it to you. You are supposed to have eighty.” He just looked at me, and I felt so foolish. He said, “How much is this, Stevie?” 

I told him, “Thirty-four dollars.” 

He put it in his pocket, and took out a sack of dope. He said, “Put your hand in the car.” He dumped ten rocks in my hand. He said, “It takes money to make money Stevie. Don’t call me unless you have a hundred dollars.”

I took the rocks, and watched him leave in his clean car. I won’t lie, I was about to run to Manny’s house, but I stopped myself. I felt the rocks in my pocket, and I thought over and over of those last words Los told me. It takes money to make money. 

I took off down the street in search of smokers. The first person I bumped into, was some guy that I always saw around. He was always smoking these nasty looking cigarettes. I saw him and I told him, “I got some stuff if you need some.” 

He said, “What do you got, young one?” 

I pulled out two rocks and showed it to him. 

He looked at them and said, “Well, I only have seven dollars.” 

I told him, “Nah, Nah, you got ten. I know you have a couple of more dollars to buy those funny cigarettes you be smoking.” 

He said, “Alright, alright, you got me, young one.” He pulled out the rest of the money to make ten, and I gave him one of the stones.” 

I told him, “I’ll see you around.” I was walking around, and I saw one of the people I sold one to when I was with Manny. 

He came up to me and said, “What do you have, little man?” 

 I told him, “I got some dimes, but these are bigger and better then the last ones.” 

He said, “Oh yeah?” 

I told him, “Yep, and they are harder too.” 

He tried that same bologna about only having eight dollars. 

I told him, “No, like I said, these are bigger then the last ones I had.” 

He looked at me, and what do you know, he pulled out ten dollars. I gave it to him, but I was catching on to the bull corn of smokers trying to get over, or trying to save a couple of dollars. The streets were teaching me a class that they did not offer in school. 

I sold nine of them, and just had to get rid of the last one. Here came Eveline, and she said, “What do you got Stevie?” 

I told her I had one dime left. She said she only had eight. 

I told her, “No, I have someone waiting for the last one anyway. 

She said, “Hold on baby, here you go.” She gave me ten.

I won’t lie, I was excited about calling Los. I could not wait to tell him that I had a hundred dollars. I ran to the payphone by the house, and put in the code on his pager. I went to the house, and waited on the porch. As I was sitting there, I could hear Los getting close by the banging bass of his speakers in the trunk of the car. It sounded like thunder in the sky. 

He pulled up in the long Park Ave, put it in park, and said, “What’s up, little Stevie?” 

I said, “What’s up, Los, you won’t believe what I got!” 

He said, “What did you get?” 

 With my head held high, and my nose in the air, I told him, “I got a hundred dollars!” 

He smiled at me with all his golds in his mouth, and he said, “You don’t have no hundred dollars.” 

I told him, “Yes I do!” 

I pulled it out to count it for him, but he said, “Let me see that.” He opened up the little knot of money, and he started to count, but he added a lot of sauce to his counting. He counted it very loud, and animated like. He said, “Twenty dollars!” Then he looked at me. “Forty dollars!” Then he looked at me. “Sixty dollars!” Then he looked at me. “Eighty dollars!” Then he looked at me. I was flying high in the clouds with pride! He counted and said, “One hundred dollars!” I have never been so proud in my life! In fact, I felt like no one has ever been proud of me the way Los was that day. I was beaming with pride, as his gold teeth beamed at me while he smiled. 

He said, “I knew you could do it, Stevie.” 

I said, “I told you, Los.” 

He said, “Let me see what I got here for you.” He put the money in his pocket, and he took out a sack of dope. Los said, “Put your hand in here, Stevie.” 

I put my hand in there, and he gave me ten more dimes. I closed my hand, but Los said, “Hold up Stevie.” He pulled out some money, and he put a fifty-dollar bill in my hand. 

I smiled and said, “What’s this for Los?” 

 He said, “That’s for you, little Stevie. You earned that. You flipped that. That’s your money.” 

I looked at the fifty, and I felt a feeling I never felt before. I felt like I took care of my business, and did what I was suppose to do. I felt like I could take care of myself now. Los looked at me, and it was like he could read my mind. 

He said, “It feels good, doesn’t it?” 

I just nodded my head, and he said, “Call me, little hustler.” He left in his super fresh car, with it sounding like thunder in the sky. 

I stood there for a minute to let it all sink in. After this day, I knew what I was. I was a victim of my circumstances, but I refused to surrender and be that victim. I knew what I had to do, I had to hustle. 

E.R. Lara’s book 8 Rocz can be found on Amazon and also here