Introduction to Prison

The guard said,

Just walk to the end
Of the hallway,
Turn left,
And they will be waiting on you there.

I couldn’t think of anything then
Besides the shiny razor-wire fences,
The long walk, and a ton of regrets.
I am eighteen, white, and boney as hell.
I was born in Winston-Salem, NC,
Raised in High Point, then
Virginia, then At this housing project on the circle above Winston.
I realize I am in the prison clothes house
As soon as another guard says,

Take off all your clothes
And give them to the clerk.
He will give you your new attire.

Soon I was standing there naked,
Ashamed, and completely stripped of all dignity.
I stood there for what seemed like forever
In front of two guards and three other prisoners
Before I was finally given state-issued clothing
Brownish pants, a white tee-shirt, and boxer underwear
That looked worn and two-sizes too big.
I hurriedly put these clothes
On my newly revealed body
And grabbed my bags and bedroll
And made my way to “Q” dormitory.

I didn’t know what to expect
Next when I entered a dorm
Filled with all sorts of strange faces.
Steel bunk beds lined each side Of the grey and dingy dorm
With old wooden picnic tables staged In the middle of the area
Where guys sat and watched T.V.
And played cards and table games.

It was smoky and smelled of
body-odor and chemicals and stale tobacco
Smoke and burnt popcorn
As I made my way to my
Rickety bunk bed against the wall.
I sat my property bags down next
To an old foot-locker and threw
My bedroll and extra set of clothing
Upon the multi-stained mattress
That stretched the length of the bunk.

After what I had already experienced,
I was physically and mentally fatigued
And felt my mind ache to gather my thoughts.
I sat down onto the empty bed below me
And fished some cigarettes out of my bag.
I pulled one from my pack and bummed
A light from a shirtless and tattoo-covered
Prisoner standing next to the bunk beside mine.
As I pulled the light from his lit cigarette,
He asked,

Where you from, bro?
How much time you got?

I told him where I was from
And how much time I had
And he commenced to say,

Damn, bro.!
damn bro., who did you kill?

After this I didn’t say much else
To this guy because he was quiet
And I sort of guessed
He knew his plight was better than mine.
His buddy called him over
To the card game and dealt
Him in the next hand. Seven cards.
By now I’d burnt my cigarette
And began making my bed
Pulling the mattress-cover over the stains
And trying to cover up somebody else’s
Wet dreams and frightful nightmares.
After struggling with the cold mattress
And getting the sheets and green blanket
Tucked and tied,
I threw my bags into my locker,
Locked it, and made my way
To the dormitory bathroom-an open
Latrine with three commodes and three
Showerheads right in the middle
For God and everyone else to see.
I thought then that this state
Of constant exposure would
Undoubtedly be the new norm for me
Here inside this prison and the life
I had somehow become caught up in.

I pulled up to the urinal to piss
When I spotted another guy
Pull up to the other urinal
Next to the one I was at.
A bigger guy.
It made me uneasy seeing
The guy doing his personal business
This close to me.
I felt exposed, violated, and
Couldn’t believe this would
Be another addition to my life experience.

I don’t think I finished pissing
Because of the pressure and unease
Of the situation that day.
Either way, I knew I had entered
A new phase in my life
Where privacy and dignity and decency
Would no longer exist for me.
I later took a shower with three
Other convicted felons
And pretended I was all alone.
My eyes were wide-open, but closed
To all the indignities around me.
After I endured this routine,
I made it to my bunk bed,
Pulled the blanket and sheet back,
Crawled deep inside this dark cocoon,
Whipped it back over my head,
And cried to all who would listen.
This was my introduction to prison.