What I’m Made Of

Life has a funny way of bringing you to the lowest point of your life, especially traumatic circumstance that you did not anticipate. For instance: losing a job, a cheating spouse, or a dying parent. These spontaneous circumstances are very hard to recuperate from. However, life’s unanticipated circumstances are normal. The unexpected is expected and sometimes there is no preventative measures you can use to endure the spontaneous. The only way to have a chance of a immediate or healthy recovery from spontaneous circumstances is contingent on “what you are made of.”

The phrase “what you are made of” is an idiom that describes how a person is psychologically, spiritually, and environmentally built up. The idea that I’m describing is not a preventive build up but a preparatory upbringing. To simply put it, how sturdy is your worldview? Can you use what you know and have learned to help you through the inevitable traumas of life? When spontaneous circumstances come and make you fall can you get back up? I want to personally share how a sound worldview prepares you to endure the spontaneous. Also, how you can fall and get back up when you have obtained a built up worldview that displays practically “what you are made of.”

I honestly landed myself in prison. Because there was a worldview offered to me that taught justice, love, honor, respect, and work ethic. Yet I rejected the worldview because it challenged me to scrutinize my bad habits and change them. The worldview I was being taught was a Christian worldview by a strong independent Black woman, who wasn’t perfect, but knew the result of faith, law, and hard work. My mother had it as close as right as a person could be. She was a taxpaying voter who believed that God was involved in all her choices and she wanted to please Him with every detail of her life. My mom stayed faithful to a nine time convicted felon, never divorced him. When the spontaneous hit like: layoffs, rent price raises, car or house damage, my mom did not take shortcuts, cheat the process, or steal. No, she took it on the chin and buckled up her seatbelt and rode it all the way through. One time my mom (Sandra Kaye) got laid off and bills where due. That night I went in her room because I heard wailing, when I opened up the door she wasn’t wailing, she was praying loudly with three of my aunts on speaker phone. She was declaring to endure the hardship, but she was trusting God to help her and the family

through. Things did change, we at more cooked meals and I notice our portions never got worse, however, I noticed she wasn’t eating until me and my sister was done eating. Also, we had enough clothing and toiletries but my mom couldn’t do extra shopping for herself. Ultimately things got better, only because my mom was made of the right stuff to overcome the spontaneous traumatic circumstance life threw at her. This episode aided my transformation which led to a worldview change. Like I said its my own fault I’m in prison because I rejected the worldview offered by my mother. I personally was not prepared for the spontaneity of life. One, I was 17 years old, thus, I wasn’t done being raised. Two, wasn’t built to take on the responsibility of others, which includes peer pressure. Three, my identity wasn’t solidified in the proper worldview. Therefore as a result of my crime, conviction, and incarceration I took a hard fall into gang violence, drug abuse, rebellion, manipulation, and having a callous heart for other people.

Then the spontaneous circumstance of my life happened the ninth year of my current prison sentence, my mother died in a car accident. I was 26 years old. What helped me through her death was a flooding of life lessons she taught and observing her faith, her following the law, and how she worked hard. I adopted her worldview and built upon it. Now I’m educated, a teacher, a counselor, preacher, and now showing people “what I’m made of!”