There are many unwritten lessons learned by being dropped into an incarcerated environment. For me, the most challenging was control. My instinct, especially when dealing with negative or annoying people, was to react with frustration or anger—my mind’s default coping mechanism.
The cognitive therapy regimen of RDAP, coupled with my own survival instincts, forced me to recognize and deconstruct those impulses. I wasn’t “cured” overnight, but I was given a framework for self-awareness, accountability, and a change that lasted into life after camp.
I reminded myself of an old Latin proverb: Aquila non capit muscas — the eagle does not catch flies. If I wanted to stay on the right path, I couldn’t waste energy on buzzing irritations. My hunt was to get home as quickly as possible and avoid conflict that could have catastrophic consequences. The same truth would apply once I was out: stay focused on what truly matters — God, family, and integrity.
At Yankton FPC, irritations were a daily occurrence: COVID lockdowns, staff negativity, unstable personalities, and a lack of privacy. But my time at the halfway house nearly broke me. It wasn’t one big thing but a thousand small ones — the endless air-conditioning chill, dark rooms, dirty bathrooms, bad food, and the feeling of being trapped.
And then came the most maddening of all: my case manager told me I couldn’t be released to home confinement unless I first got a job. The problem was that I didn’t live in the city where the halfway house was located, and I had already passed my transfer date home. Still, the requirement stood. Their solution? Apply for a job at the local Taco Bell down the street — as if that would somehow redeem my past.
Each irritation was a mosquito bite waiting to become infected. Taken together, they were overwhelming. But on their own, I knew from Yankton they weren’t worth my energy. That lesson was even more vital in the halfway house, so close to going home.
The eagle’s lesson still applied: don’t swat at flies. Keep your eyes fixed on the horizon, focused on the larger goal — finishing my time, getting home, and rebuilding my life with my family.
It’s a life lesson I carry to this day: Don’t sweat the small things. Keep soaring toward what matters.
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