I’m Alive
By Andy Powell
God kept me alive
because I am important person to him
I am surely alive
with a living breathing testimony
God kept me alive
to pull me out of my deepest darkest times of life
he never left me behind
God kept me alive
to show me that he loved and care me
just the way I am
I’ m surely alive.
Mirror
By Andy Powell
looked in the mirror
disgusted at what I see
an unhappy, betrayed, ugly person.
A leap of faith, hope, and trust in God
makes me happy
knowing God had picked me
when no one
loved or care for me.
God softly whispered in my ear
“you are not an
ugly or disgusting person.”
he reminds me
that I am a
beautiful, loving, caring child.
I would not change a thing.
I had to go through
my ups and downs and all those ugly times
to learn how to use the weapons
that I did not know
that I had this whole time
to defeat
my temptation and addiction.
prayer and meditation
is the way to have
one on one talk with God
that you need to have
a stronger relationship with him.
God is the one
who created me
with the problems that I have.
makes me want to love.
what I see in the mirror.
Now I look the mirror
happy with what I see.
Spiritual Dream
By Andy Powell
Dreaming
about my kids
seeing the vision
of them
gives me hope
of restoring
my relationship
with them
makes me feel
as if I am
physical there
making memories
and talking with them
makes me feel
I am a part
of their lives
this gives me
joy
peace
happiness
knowing
I can be, spiritually, there
for my children
Terrie
By Andy Powell
I do not know why you killed yourself and left me behind. I only had a very short time with you. I do notknow why I have so many feeling and so much love for you. I do not know anything about you. I do not have any memories of you. All I have are stories, pictures, and videos of you. You left me behind to deal with our abusive father. Everyone tells me that you were the one who took care of me and keep me safe from dad. I think you killed yourself because you could not handle dad any longer. Some days I wish I would have Died with you. But God has better plans for for me. I miss you so mush and love you. I have been digging into my mine to try to fine some kind of memories of you. But I can’t find any.
Terrie was so beautiful.
She is my protecting angel
that kept me safe
from our father
our abusive father.
She was my loving, caring sister.
She always holds me
in her smell beautiful arms
as I look up
to see her beautiful, bright, shinning face.
I can fill her presence
like she is physically still here beside me
just like she did when she was alive.
Her spirit
will always lives within me.
I keep hearing this little voice of her
screaming out loud for help
but no one came to her rescue.
My Kids
By Andy Powell
Laying in bed
with eyes closed
thinking!
How precious and how important
my kids are to me.
Before they were ripped out of my life.
I didn’t give them the attention
that they needed,
nor let them touch my heart,
or let them be a blessing to me.
I have not heard from them for many years.
Because the foster parents will not let me talk to them
Being in prison has given me the time to realize how important I am to them.
It taught me how to love and care for myself.
So I can love and care for my children.
They give me the strength
to want to better myself.
So I can be a part of their lives.
Losing My Kids
By Andy Powell
Fighting for my kids
CYS filling criminal charges against me and my wife
had two different kinds of attorneys
one attorney was to help us to get our kids back
the other attorney was to fight for our criminal charges
we were happy to hear that our charges were dropped
now we can focus on getting our kids back
it took the court six-seven months after they took the kids
to make a list for us to do
the attorney did not help us
I was getting frustrated with the court
because my oldest son fractured his femur
at the foster parents house
all the court did about it was
sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened
but when my oldest fractured his eye in our care
they made a big deal about it
took the kids and field criminal charges against us
the court treated the foster parents like they were kingd
that could not do anything wrong
we did everything that the court wanted us to do
they did not care if we did everything they asked
the court dragged our names through the mud
like we were filthy, worthless, rages that did not care for our kids
I could not imagine how my wife felt
from having CYS rip our youngest child out of her hands
after spending the first couple days of his life at the hospital
we’ve only seen our youngest a handful of times
before we completely lost custody of our kids
after the foster parents got full custody of our kids
they won’t let us see or talk with our kids
because we did not bow down to them
I call each of my kids by their full names
good morning,
good night,
talking and praying with them every day
like they are right here with me
hoping to see them and be a part of their lives soon.
No Comments