Homesickness

Now I know what it feels like to live right next door to a refinery. Growing up in my middle-class neighborhood I took it for granted that I didn’t even know what a refinery looked like or where the closest one was.

Back in September I was transferred to this prison, Stiles Unit. I was not personally knowledgeable about the neighborhood, but I knew this area has many chemical plants and petroleum refineries.

As the bus drove closer to the prison, I could see smokestacks everywhere and smell all kinds of scents I was not familiar with.

Starting about two weeks ago I noticed the air smelled particularly bad. I have no idea what’s going on with the petroleum refinery next door. I had not noticed any smells before. perhaps the summer blend of fuel produces more smells than winter gasoline.

In the mornings it seems at a certain time the smells get really bad. I have to close my cell window so I can stop coughing. On a microscopic level I feel my lungs are being altered, and not in a good way.

I received no sympathy from my dad. When I called him on the phone, he told me I can’t do absolutely anything about living next door to a refinery. He’s right so I change the subject. At the same time, I sense my dad is hurt that he’s powerless to get me away from breathing in dirty air.

Over the years I’ve heard many a news story that people living near refineries have adverse health impacts. Ever since I arrived at this prison I don’t feel right. I feel like the pitiful trays we get fed have no nutritional value. I feel malnourished. many of us say we’re losing weight. in December I was 158 pounds. in June I am now 153 pounds.

I do feel that my health is deteriorating but it hasn’t reached the breaking point. as it is, many people around here are constantly getting sick. Before I eat my tray I pray to God that what I eat is not going to make me sick.

I do realize that society doesn’t care about inmates. I suspect the refinery was next door when this prison was built. That shows the state deliberately didn’t care about the air the inmates would be breathing in. I’m not an expert but I hope chemicals are not leeching into the water table. I have no choice but to drink the water that comes out the sink.

I do realize that I’m in prison so I can’t choose the neighborhood I live in. I don’t know how to get sent to a different prison. I’ve heard lots of people say they’ve tried all kinds of things, and they remain stuck here. I feel very bad for those people who say they’ve been at this prison over twenty years. to my untrained eye they don’t look to be in good health.