Time may or may not be the most precious asset we possess. (If you are scrambling to pay your mortgage or trying to figure out how to afford college, you can probably build a pretty solid case in favor of money.) But time is unique among our commodities.
Every day, every person who draws breath on this earth receives the same amount of time: 24 hours, 1,440 minutes, or 86,400 seconds, depending on which denomination you prefer.
At the end of every day, every person’s allotment is depleted. Time cannot be rolled over or stockpiled. When it’s gone, it’s gone.
Time cannot be stolen or transferred into another account. Its market cannot be cornered. The rich cannot get richer, where time is concerned. Its system cannot be gamed, hacked, or tampered with.
Time cannot be exchanged or refunded.
Time is extremely limited – yet insanely in demand. Think of the things that are competing for your time:
• Your job.
• Your overtime demand and opportunities.
• Your commute.
• Your workout.
• Your responsibilities as a friend, partner, neighbor, and concerned citizen.
• Your kids’ practices, games, recitals, and programs.
• Your hobbies and past times.
• Your body’s requirements for sleep and relaxation.
So many options, so little time to exploit them all.
No one overstands that truth better than a person whose primary love language is – “QUALITY TIME”.
I’m not looking for words of affirmation or gifts or acts of service. I just want you will experience love and affection – I will feel genuinely cared for – simply by sharing some of your precious time. A half hour here, an hour there, or a weekend on occasion is enough to keep my love tank filled.
Provided it’s the right kind of time.
Quality is the key. To call something “quality” is to set a high bar. A mechanic who does quality work doesn’t cut corners on a brake job. He isn’t distracted while he rebuilds a carburetor. He won’t throw up his hands and walk away when he can’t immediately pinpoint a rattle in the exhaust system.
Someone who does quality work goes the extra mile, stays focused on the task at hand, and won’t quit when things don’t go right.
And so it is with spending quality time with me. When you give it, make sure it’s the best you’ve got.
The key to becoming fluent in the quality time love language is establishing the right mindset. The key to establishing the right mindset is focused attention.
It means doing something together and giving your full attention to each other. The activity in which we’re both engaged is incidental. The important thing emotionally is that we’re spending focused time in each other’s company. The activity is a vehicle that creates the sense of togetherness. What happens on the emotional level is what matters. Spending time together in a common pursuit communicates that you care, that you enjoy being with me, that you enjoy doing things with me.
Quality time pays for itself in memories.
1 Comment
Ruben Smith
August 31, 2025 at 10:24 am“Quality time pays for itself in memories.” I love this quote.
Do you think the 5 love languages are a good way to explain relationship preferences? I read an article that said they aren’t supported by scientific evidence. Here’s a quote from a relationship scientist I found:
“Chapman did not do an empirical evaluation of love languages and the ways in which people express love to others,” Vanderbilt explained, “[so] it’s unclear whether there truly are five love languages and whether those are encompassing all of the ways in which people express love to their partner.”
Vanderbilt explained that Chapman’s book asserted “that we have one primary and perhaps a secondary love language, and this is the way that we feel most loved by our partner.” But actual scientific studies have shown that’s not the case.
“If you force people to have a single love language, they can,” Vanderbilt explained, “but most often, if you allow people to have flexibility in these measurements, people prefer to receive love in all five ways. Those are all somewhat equally important to most people.”
https://www.yourtango.com/love/relationship-scientist-explains-why-five-love-languages-arent-real
I hope you’re doing well. I’ll write soon!